Kris’ Keynote Speech ~ and Q and A

6 Mar

At Bluegrass Leather Pride, after the classes, i left.  So i didn’t go to the end of the contest, or the play party afterwards.  i did go to the brunch the next day, with keynote speaker Boi Kris.  And i got to sit next to his Domme, Lady Elsa.

Lady Elsa is a soft-spoken, gentle Domme {at least with me} who has a message that Boi Kris proclaims from the rooftops.  Here is an excerpt from her writings on fetlife:

“…somewhere during the weekend we picked up the nickname “the teacher and the preacher.” I teach. I write educational materials for a living. My savant power is explication: I can take complex ideas and subjects, break them down, and explain them in writing so other people connect with them. Kris is the preacher. His special gift is interpersonal expressing things to people verbally so that other people connect with them. I give him a philosophy to preach. He gives my philosophy a voice. We’re a pretty good team that way.”

In his keynote speech, Kris says that he has internalized Lady Elsa’s message, her philosophy, to the point that it has become his ~ and he does a lovely job expounding on it.  Someone was videotaping it, and i had hoped that would show up on YouTube and i’d be able to link you to it, but i can’t find it.

But here is an interview with them.   Lady Elsa’s message is about taking your relationship “off -road.”  That the “rules” about D/s relationships are not the point of the relationships ~ that it’s important to follow your own guide, your own life mission.

They talk about “spiritual service,” and that always resonates with me.  They talk about different ways to carry out the typical dynamics ~ ways to avoid getting trapped in the stereotypes.  Their bottom line message is:  Be yourself.

For more information, you can also read Lady Elsa’s writings on fetlife here.  i thoroughly enjoyed talking to her at the brunch, and hope we stay connected in the future.


With March being Q and A month, ‘nilla asked me yesterday:

okay…um…most important ritual to you each day. That would be a daily ritual, not necessarily a morning or evening one…but one which helps you feel complete.

Sir and i are not real wrapped up in rituals, but we do have a couple that have evolved between us.  

First, coffee ~ i make his coffee every morning, not just the pot, but his cup.  He takes two sweet-and-lows and a splash of half-and-half, and i prepare it carefully, being mindful of what i’m doing, and take it to Him.

Then there’s, you know, the tether.  He tethers me every night, slipping the rope around my ankle ~ usually my ankle ~ and securing it so it doesn’t get tighter or looser during the night.  

Most night, i go to bed before He does, so there is usually some touching and maybe some play as He tucks me in, but the tether is for sure.

In the morning, i usually get up before Him ~ like now, as i write this, He’s not awake yet.  i carry the tether with me as i let the cats in or out, fix my own coffee, and blog or whatever.  When He gets up, i’ll prepare His coffee, and then He’ll untether me.

i didn’t have the tether when we were in Very-Far-Away, and i missed it.  i’m not always crazy about it when i’m lugging it around behind me, all 17 pounds of it, but it’s a powerful reminder of who i am.


It’s good to be home, in lots of ways.  

Don’t forget ~ March is Q and A month.  If you have questions for me, ask away.   You can leave your question in a comment, or email me at

5 Responses to “Kris’ Keynote Speech ~ and Q and A”

  1. Wordwytch March 6, 2013 at 12:33 pm #

    Hmmm… A thoughtful post. I’ll follow the links later.
    As for ritual. Hmmm… The one that comes to the fore the fastest is the way we go to sleep. We talk a lot in bed to wind down, but the moment I curl up on my side and he curls up behind me, pinning my legs/feet, it’s time to sleep. 🙂

    • aisha March 7, 2013 at 6:32 am #

      Thanks, Wordwytch, and that’s a lovely ritual you two have!

      • Wordwytch March 7, 2013 at 1:26 pm #

        It is nice. And it is one thing that I missed so much when he was gone up north for a while.

  2. sirqsmlb March 6, 2013 at 12:52 pm #

    This is a wonderful post. I loved hearing about BLF…but why did you not go to the other portions of the event?

    Your rituals sound meaningful to you both. I love that you have rituals that connect you and ground you in your places.


    • aisha March 7, 2013 at 6:36 am #

      Hey, Fiona,

      i’m glad you enjoyed the posts!

      i didn’t go for a couple of reasons. If there’d been anyone here who was a blogger and not already part of the community, i would have gone of course. But since there wasn’t ~

      ~ Sir didn’t want to go because it’s not really his thing, and i didn’t want to go without Him. He would have gone if there’d been out-of-town bloggers here, but again, since there weren’t, it was optional and he opted out.

      ~ Also, i was exhausted. We got back from our trip Thursday evening, Friday i worked, Saturday – well, that was classes and by the time they were over, i was tired. So i went home and slept for about 12 hours ~ woke up feeling wonderful and excited about the brunch.

      So now i’ll have to go ask you if you and your Sir have rituals…

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