This Blog

8 Mar

When i started this blog, i was in a relationship with First Sir ~ the One i First Called Sir.  i didn’t know anybody in the cyberworld, and had no idea there was a “real life” community of kinky folks who practiced BDSM.  “Leather” was just the material used for purses and coats, and maybe i’d heard it used about a group of gay men, but that was  it.

i started out writing with First Sir’s encouragement, discovered blogs the day He had me google “chopsticks” and “BDSM,” and have been blogging almost three years now.  Almost every day.  1011 posts, counting this one.

My life has changed so much since then, and part of that change has been because of the blog, because of my relationships with each of you.


My life has morphed in ways that i couldn’t possibly have imagined.  

i’ve been toying with the idea of ending this blog for a while.  i’m too happy to have great posts to write about inner turmoil and conflict.  And while Sir has a vast supply of creative ideas for erotic and sensual experiences, i don’t feel the urge to write about them.

i hate that i am thinking about doing this at the same time that KBC didn’t work out.  i don’t want people to think that there’s any connection there.  {Maybe no one would have thought it anyhow.}

But that in itself ~ the fact that i’m concerned about your reaction~ is an indication that i’m not writing for myself anymore.   That i’m writing with one eye on the reader.


So i’m taking a break ~ maybe a permanent break.  Probably a permanent break.  

i’ll still be around, and i’ll leave the blog up, but i think i’m headed in new and different directions.  

However, don’t forget that next year Ms Constance will still be doing Bluegrass Leather Pride ~ first weekend in March.   If there’s a class on blogging ~ i’ll be there.   If you want to stay in touch in the meantime, you can always reach me at  

65 Responses to “This Blog”

  1. joeyred51 March 8, 2013 at 7:04 am #

    I will miss your posts. I have read every one since I found your blog.

    Thank you for so many excellent posts and I wish you the best for the future.


    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 7:10 am #

      Thank you so much, joey ~ i really appreciate that!! 🙂 i expect i’ll see you around in other people’s comment sections.

  2. striving for Peace March 8, 2013 at 7:09 am #

    When I am reading a book that I love
    with characters that I love

    I never want it to end
    i want to follow them through the rest of their lives


    by the way
    would make for a very shitty book.

    Every character has an arch
    every character has a story — a challenge a journey

    but the journey is the story
    more than the destination.

    this book may be ending

    and you may be starting a whole new book

    and I would read that one too.

    and while I’ll miss the old characters
    and want to cuddle up with them

    I understand why this might be your time
    to say

    The End.

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 7:18 am #

      Dear Sfp,

      Thank you so much ~ you’re so right ~ about good books, i feel the same way, and the recognition that they need to end.

      And you’ve brought so much to this journey – to my story. i love you. And i expect to see you in your blog for a long, long time.


      • striving for Peace March 8, 2013 at 8:19 pm #

        lol -well – I’m still in the middle of my story
        my arc is still building

  3. Jz March 8, 2013 at 7:14 am #

    I think we tend to feel less need to write when we’ve basically gotten to where we’d like to be. So that’s a good thing, certainly.

    No one says this blog HAS to be about submission only.
    You could just take us along on your new and exciting journey….

    (I’m wheedling, aren’t I?)

    You go do your thing with our blessings.
    And we’ll just hope you come back. 🙂

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 7:22 am #

      Thanks, Jz, nice to know that you don’t want me to go ~ and i really don’t either, in a way, but it frees up my energy for other things and i’ll see you on your blog!!



  4. sin March 8, 2013 at 7:21 am #

    Rats. I’ll miss you. Yes, I heard the part where you said you’d still be around. But I’ll miss your voice every morning anyway.

    A very selfish response. I’ll try to be bigger than that and be happy that your journey is becoming something different.


    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 7:26 am #

      Dear sin,

      i’ll miss your comments too!! And i appreciate your selfishness ~ and the good wishes!! We won’t lose touch.



  5. abby March 8, 2013 at 7:43 am #

    Now, who will I have my morning coffee with? I am sad for me, but happy for yoou, and wish you all the best. Maybe you could check in once in a while and let us know how you are doing?
    hugs abby

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 7:47 am #

      Thanks, Abby, i appreciate the kind words – i’ll miss youall too. And i’ll drop in – on your blog, which i love and don’t get to read often enough!!



  6. faithful March 8, 2013 at 7:48 am #

    Ditto to abby and sin and the rest~ (except I don’t drink coffee).

    I started my blog because of you. Remember.. you said I should 🙂

    I thank you for being a big part of my life, even if it was just for too short a time.

    You WILL be missed!


    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 7:53 am #

      Thank you, faithful ~ i do remember telling you that, and am so glad that you did!! Now i can come visit you in your place!!

      Thanks for the kind words ~ your comments have always been uniquely you and sometimes challenged me and kept me on my toes!!



  7. k March 8, 2013 at 7:59 am #

    So i have been a daily voyeur in this blog for six months or so since i first found it. And in a truly selfish way i will miss reading your thoughts and those who comment. As someone who is happiest staying on the margins, i love the real sense of community and friendship on this blog, even not commenting i feel included – that is a real gift. You have bought much to many here. So on behalf of the “anonymous” and those who just “read and reflect” like myself, if i may assume such arrogance, i offer many thanks. And genuinely good luck. Best wishes k

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 8:15 am #

      Hi, K!!

      O, see, now i feel bad – i want to keep giving you a community to feel a part of But thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot to me that you felt that way, and that you stepped out to say it.

      i hope you find that sense of belonging other places too.



  8. ancilla_ksst March 8, 2013 at 8:32 am #

    I will miss your blog too. I read every day. But I understand that these things sometimes need a break or an ending.

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 9:13 am #

      Thank you so much, ancilla! I’ll continue to follow you!!



  9. Greengirl. March 8, 2013 at 8:39 am #

    Your writing is lovely, and introspective, and you’ve been an incredible example of finding the good in things and in people and of kindness. Thank you for all of that. It is sad for us to lose that, but so very happy for you to be happy, and to start your next adventures.

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 9:20 am #

      Dear Greengirl,

      And you’ve been a lovely part of my journey. Your blog posts inspired many of mine, and your comments have been greatly appreciated.

      Thank you for the kind words, and the good wishes.



  10. tori March 8, 2013 at 9:20 am #

    Im mostly a silent follower, with the occassional comment, i have found your musings interesting, funny, but most of all genuine.

    Best wishes to you both.

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 9:21 am #

      Thank you so much, tori, i’ve appreciated your {occasional} comments, and will continue to enjoy your blog!



  11. nancy March 8, 2013 at 9:21 am #

    I’m so glad you’ve found what you wanted and are so at peace. I too will miss your daily posts and your interesting take on everything.
    I can truly understand why you’d feel like stopping the blog .. but you will be missed! As Greengirl said , you’ve always been a great example of finding the good in almost every person and situation.
    Cheers to you as you go, wherever you may go!

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 9:23 am #

      Thank you so much, Nancy – i’ve enjoyed your comments so much, and your support over time, and i appreciate the kind words you take care of yourself {since i can’t go read your blog. Why don’t you have a blog anyhow? If i don’t, i’m pretty sure everyone else should!}



  12. ronniesoul March 8, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    I read more than I comment and I will miss your posts.

    I’m happy for you.

    Love and best wishes to you,

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 10:15 am #

      Thank you so much, Ronnie – that means a lot coming from you!!



  13. Ashly March 8, 2013 at 10:12 am #

    Loved reading your fantastic blog, but with all good thing have got an end. I will miss you.
    all the best in the future for you and your family.
    Love Ashly xx

    • aisha March 8, 2013 at 10:16 am #

      Thanks, Ashly, i really appreciate that – the kind words and the good wishes!!



  14. mouse March 8, 2013 at 10:45 am #

    Late to the party but will miss you and really your thoughts echo mouse’s in so many ways….


    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 5:57 am #

      Dear Mouse,

      You can’t be late to the party, it doesn’t start until you’re here. 🙂 i’ll miss your comments too.



  15. vanillamom March 8, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

    I’m late too…I’ve been absorbing this since reading it this morning. You know, if not for you, and that funny comment about sin and Mick and i coming to visit you like rock stars on your doorstep (I’ll NEVER forget that, long as I live!)….we’ve become more than fellow bloggers, but friends. We’ve even met IRL..

    You have a unique, caring, deeply compassionate voice here…and you’ve helped me grow as a woman, a person and a submissive. Thank you.

    You will be deeply missed here…but I’m sure that we’ll hear your voice again somewhere, sometime from now. (I know how hard it is for you to be quiet, you see…*giggle*…)



    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 6:00 am #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      And you’ve made my life so much richer ~ your comments have been a delight. Thank you for the kind words.

      i am liable to pop up here or there, aren’t i? You just never know…



  16. michelle March 8, 2013 at 12:51 pm #

    Damnit! This made me actually tear up. Your blog is one of the first blogs I found when searching for people like me and finding your blog (and sin and ‘nilla and mouse’s) made me feel not so alone. I feel like I know you which is or course a little silly; I know what you’ve posted about here. but nevertheless, I feel as though I’m losing a friend.

    All that said, I am SO glad that you found your Sir, and that you’re happy, and this journal has served your journey (which come from the same root word, btw) so well. And I hope that you will consider continuing to lend your unique voice to the kinky community in some way because you add so much with your insights.

    I’ll miss you. I guess I have to start a blog now so we can keep in touch.

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 6:03 am #

      Dear Michelle,

      i think anyone who can say “this journal has served your journey (which come from the same root word, btw)” needs to have her own blog. Just saying.

      i’m glad the blog was helpful for you, and that it’s been there for you in this part of YOUR journey. It has connected us, and if you start your own blog, please let me know, right?



  17. monkey March 8, 2013 at 4:58 pm #

    I’ve been processing this all morning. I know it’s very selfish, because I am truly glad for you that you are off on new adventures, but I am going to miss you so much. Reading you , watching you process, the way your outlook always end up on the bright side, even when you’ve struggled to get there. Aisha you inspire me, and make me work harder to be more positive. I’m going to miss you so much. I don’t have the words to express how much.

    • monkey March 8, 2013 at 4:59 pm #

      I forgot to say that I wish you nothing but happiness and fulfillment too.

      • aisha March 9, 2013 at 6:05 am #

        And thanks!! 🙂

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 6:04 am #

      Dear Monkey,

      i’ll miss you too, seeing your little monkey icon pop up on my comments, and hearing your thoughts… you’ll have to blog more – oh, wait, that will just help me, won’t it? 🙂

      Thank you for the kind words. i’ve loved watching you grow and blossom, and am glad if i’ve been a part of that progress.



      • monkey March 12, 2013 at 1:50 am #

        I have an icon just for you on my Google chrome task bar, so I could come right here, no muss, no fuss. I think I’m going to leave it, I can’t bear to take it down yet.

      • aisha March 12, 2013 at 6:11 am #

        Thanks, Little Monkey. 🙂 hugs

  18. Conina March 8, 2013 at 6:32 pm #

    You’re a rock star, aisha. I’ll definitely miss your voice here. But thank you for leaving the blog up. 🙂

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 6:05 am #

      Thank you, Conina, i appreciate that, and i’ve enjoyed knowing you. Am glad you’re blogging, and i’ll see you there!



  19. lil March 8, 2013 at 7:58 pm #

    I am sad to see you go.
    I have always appreciated your thoughtful approach to people, blogging, and ttwd.
    I hope that the adventures ahead of you are wonderful and inspiring!

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 6:06 am #

      Thank you, Lil, i appreciate those kind words. i’ll look forward to staying connected on your blog!! Thanks for the good wishes.



  20. Wordwytch March 8, 2013 at 8:38 pm #

    I will miss you dear! You’ve become a friend and I’ve enjoyed our conversations, and your stories. Oh, which reminds me… you left Naomi in school…

    However, whatever you decide to do, enjoy yourself. Pop in once in a while and say hello. Good luck and good life with your Sir.

    Until we meet again.

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 6:07 am #

      Thank you, Wordwytch, we have become friends. As for Naomi, poor thing, she needs continuous schooling – what can i say? 🙂

      Thanks for the good wishes – and au revoir to you too…



  21. jadescastle March 9, 2013 at 11:42 am #

    i have been sick and started from a week ago. And then saw this. 😦
    You have inspired me in so many ways. i hope you find whatever you need and may decide to update here every so often. Holding you in the light, always…

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

      i’m sorry you were sick -hope you’re feeling better now!!

      Thanks for the kind words, and i appreciate you holding me in the light.



  22. Lady P March 9, 2013 at 4:57 pm #

    Dear Aisha
    I have a full range of feelings here! Anger, sorrow, regret, understanding, happiness for you….
    But then – you speculated about ending your blog already this past summer.
    I will miss you though – very much – with your unique reflections on and psychological insight in the dynamics of kink life.
    I sincerely hope and encourage you to gather that specialness and write at least one article, please!!! Professionals working with couples or singles, fantasizing about or in kinky relationships should hear your voice.
    Even if you don´t, I’m glad you’re keeping the blog open, so that I can still refer newbies to your blog.
    You have my deepest respect,

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 5:31 pm #

      Dear Lady P

      Thank you so much for those kind words. i will take them to heart. And yes, i think i need to work on some professional stuff.

      i’ve loved knowing you, and so appreciated your comments, {even if they were too rare.} We’ll have to try to keep in touch.



  23. Jake March 9, 2013 at 5:37 pm #

    All the best, aisha! I’ve enjoyed learning from your posts. Take care!

    • aisha March 9, 2013 at 5:43 pm #

      Thanks so much, Jake – i’ll look forward to continuing to read about you and Joy!



  24. Mick March 17, 2013 at 10:27 am #

    We get it, Aisha. We’ve cut back too.

    Hope all is well for you,

    Mick and Molly

    • aisha March 18, 2013 at 2:25 pm #

      Thanks, Mick – it’s been a blast, hasn’t it? Yes, all is well, i just need to shift directions a bit… much love.

  25. K March 17, 2013 at 1:55 pm #

    aisha, I just happened to come by and read your post.. I have to say that sharing in your journey over the past two years, even though I myself have been in and out of blogland, has made a huge positive impact on my life. Sending you and yours the warmest wishes and thanks. hugs, K

    • aisha March 18, 2013 at 2:26 pm #

      Thank you so much, K. Take care of yourself, and i’ll be following your ups and downs!

  26. ewoman88 March 19, 2013 at 10:43 am #

    went to go catch up on my emails and got blindsided by this… I will miss your writing so much, glad you aren’t completely disappearing 😦 I’m really going to miss your constant posts that were always part of my morning with ‘nilla and coffee 🙂 I wish you joy and peace


    Teh Kitteh >^.^<

    • Burford March 20, 2013 at 5:15 pm #

      I know you didn’t ask, but I’d like to put in my 2 cents of thoughts on you ceasing to blog. This is all speculation on my part you understand. I think you are stopping because you simply don’t need the blog any more. I think, in the beginning, when you were new to the concept that you were a bdsm being, you were uncomfortable with that. You needed to hear from others that they thought the same as you did – and that you were not as different as you were feeling at the time.
      And if you watch the progress of your blog, you have really explored those feelings a lot. Religion or spirituality. Being Catholic, you were saddles with guilt from the get go. Ok, BDSM seems to fit right in with guilt. So lots of emotions and feelings with that. Perhaps you even felt bad about yourself. In the blog, you received approbation from others – a statement that you were not alone in your BDSM ways, and that you were an person even though you had these urges. You dispensed with the religion part of this not to long ago when you ceased being Catholic. In essence, you let go all that guilt churches, any kind of churches, like to saddle you with.
      I think the blog is no longer necessary to you because you are now ok with yourself – even that part of yourself that is BDSM. You no longer need to apologize for who you are, how you think, how you feel, and what you find feels good to you. You have stopped apologizing for being who you are. And I am thinkin that’s a good thing. So you no longer need to apologize for who you are, you no longer need other people to tell you you are ok for being who you are. So the positive input you received from the people who tuned in to your blog is just no longer as necessary to you as it once was.
      That said, your growing up and leaving the blog leaves those of us who have come to enjoy your blog as a place to discuss not just BDSM but every aspect of it from the sensations you felt having your butt spanked to how to justify being BDSM with your and our senses of spirituality, leaves the rest of us with a bit of a void in our lives. But then, the blog was not about us – it was about you. Thank you for sharing with us the wonderful breadth of your being. It was a wonderful trip.
      i probably could have said all this better had I devoted more time to the writing of it, but seeing your post, I just had to comment. Bon Chance.

      • aisha March 20, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

        Hi, Buford,

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts here ~ i think you’re right in many ways. This blog has helped me grow so much and in so many ways. The friends i’ve made here will live in my heart forever…

        And knowing you was pretty terrific too. Glad we shared our part of the journey.



    • aisha March 20, 2013 at 9:34 pm #

      Thank you, ewoman, i love you too, and we’ll be in touch, i promise. Joy and peace to you too…



  27. Fondles March 26, 2013 at 8:16 am #

    i’ve always loved reading here, and I think you’re an inspiration to kinky bloggers everywhere!

    thanks for all your posts, and for leaving the blog up.

    (I’m sorry this took so long writing… I read your post a few weeks ago but I’ve been so caught up I never got round to leaving a comment.)

  28. Hitachi Magic Wand March 29, 2013 at 1:06 am #

    I will miss your stories here Aisha. It’s too bad you are leaving but hope you find your happiness elsewhere. Good luck 🙂

    • aisha April 7, 2013 at 9:57 am #

      Thanks, Hitachi Magic Wand, for reading and for commenting!! Sending good wishes your way too!


  29. Reasonsto April 1, 2013 at 10:26 pm #

    Bummer, but it’s good to know when to say when.

    • aisha April 7, 2013 at 9:58 am #

      Thank you, Reasonto!


  30. Magician January 6, 2014 at 6:48 am #

    Hope you move on to bigger and better things, you will be missed sorely though

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