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Ranch Dressing

22 Apr

It isn’t fair.

i didn’t mean it that way.

i did remember.  i knew.

i just thought… i just thought maybe…

O.

Five?

For not remembering?

But ~ But, Sir, i ~

And more?

Arguing?  No ~ i ~ i ~

was just saying ~

just meant ~

O.

Five more?

Um,

{but it’s not fair, that’s not what i meant, you don’t understand, it wasn’t what you think!}

Um,

Yes.

Sir.

A Question from Dragon Lady

6 Mar

“okay, i have a q for you…*evil snikker* (yes, i know it’s spelled incorrectly…on purpose)…

if your M ordered you to give another guy a bj, would you balk? (assuming he set up the parameters beforehand for you to be safe from stds, etc…)”

That’s a great question, Dragon Lady, um ‘Nilla.

You know, i think there are different levels or layers of fantasy.  

Story of O was a huge, huge turn on for me, and i found my sexual energy through fantasies of that kind of sexual slavery for so many years.  But do i really want to be taken to Roissy and used by many anonymous men?  

No.  i really don’t.  So that’s a fantasy that stays in my head, it’s not something that i think i have a secret yearning for.

Do i want to be taken by more than one man at the same time, in a group sex kind of scenario?  Um, i don’t think so, but under the exact right circumstances ~

~ if it were two men i knew well and i was attracted to them both and they both wanted to share me, and i was feeling really submissive, well, hmmm, it could happen.  But it would need to meet all those conditions, and even then, maybe not.

On the other hand, there are plenty of kinky fantasies that i really might want to come true.  Some exhibitionist stuff.  Some punishment themes.  You know, other stuff.

Remember me talking about the first real Dom i knew ~ not First Sir, but Mike Moore?  Mike who i loved so dearly, who used to say, “Now, mind me.  I like a woman who minds.”  

Well, he was Irish, and he loved to tell stories, and i’ve probably told this one before.  But he might start, “You know, my friends used to say to me, they’d say, ‘Mike, what do you mean ‘you like a woman who minds?   I don’t know what you’re talking about, you can’t make women mind you, not nowadays!  They’re independent, they’re not gonna do anything just because you tell ’em to.’  

And,” Mike would continue, “I’d say, ‘Well, yes I can make women mind me.  It’s easy.”  He’d pause and look at me, “You know how to make a woman mind, don’t you?'”  

And i, in my wide-eyed vanilla-ness, would shake my head, “nooooo, how do you do that?” even long after i knew the answer, cause i loved to hear him laugh and say,

“Well, you just make ’em do things they want to do anyway!   That’s the secret.  You just tell ’em to do the things they want to do anyway.”  Then he might add, “You’re not wearing panties are you?  See, good girl, that’s what i like, a woman who does what she’s told, now come over here and let’s see how many orgasms you can have right now.  Hurry up, mind me!” 

And i’d giggle and be a little embarrassed, but you know, who could resist an offer like that???

Now i also noticed that if he mostly told me to do things that i wanted to do, or that brought me pleasure, he could throw in a thing or two that i wasn’t so sure i wanted to do, and i’d be so in the habit of saying yes, that i’d slide right into doing those pretty easily too.  

And i thought it was important that i noticed that.

But, i digress.  Getting back to your question…

For me, being made, coerced, or pushed into doing something sexual is a huge trigger for me.  i know that’s the dynamic for a lot of D/s relationships, that the “s” can’t say no, isn’t allowed to say no to sex.

But that’s what my first marriage was like. Non-consensually.  Well, and my first real sexual relationship, for that matter, which was non-consensual by virtue of age and quickly became sexually and physically abusive.  

So for me personally, not speaking for anyone else, i essentially need to consent to each episode.  It doesn’t have to be formal, it can be implicit, and ~ i’m not explaining this well.  i’m sorry.  It’s not like my Dom needs permission ~ that’s silly ~ but ~ it’s like this ~

i know that if i don’t want to do something sexual, really don’t, and He doesn’t help me move into an accepting submission, if He overrides me, and insists, then i will feel like crap afterwards.  i will feel like i’ve been abused.

On the other hand, for example, i have a love/hate relationship with anal sex.  i want it/don’t want ~ and i have past issues with it ~ and i want it as much as i hate it, so it’s a fair playground for pushing my comfort level.  

But if he “makes me,” i will have emotional and even sensory flashbacks and it won’t be pretty.  Or helpful.  

It damages me.

After i got divorced the first time, it took me about a year of therapy to realize that all those times i’d said to my husband, “Please don’t, please don’t, it’s like you’re raping me, please don’t…”  well, it took me a year of therapy after the divorce to realize that when you feel that way you are being raped.

So, back to your question, Ms ‘Nilla, giving another guy a blow job is not a secret fantasy of mine.  If my Master wanted me to do it, he would have to figure out how to make me want to do it first.  And “because he wants me to” would probably not be reason enough for that particular thing.

If he really “made me” ~ coerced, pushed, pressured ~ when it wasn’t something i wanted, i think it would damage me.  And i believe i have some responsibility to not let myself be damaged, so… you know, that could be a hard limit for me, but more importantly, it would make me wonder why he’d want me to do something that could harm me.

Whew.  Bet you didn’t know you’d get all this… hope you weren’t looking for a simple yes/no answer!

More questions anyone?

Spanking: A Fantasy {Part II}

8 Jan

Left in the corner with my pants down around my knees, my back to the room so i can’t see what He’s doing, head to the wall and ass out, i find it difficult to think at first.

i’ve never had corner time before.  Not as a child, and not in a kink sense.  

i can’t believe this is really happening, in a way.  It seems kind of cliché.  How many tines have i read about this in other people’s blogs?  

And now, here i am,  a 55 year old woman, and i’m standing in the corner to think about what i’ve done wrong.  Because i had an orgasm without permission.  Really?

i try to rise above it all.  After all, there are lots more important things to think about.  An unapproved orgasm is hardly a big deal in the greater scheme of the universe.

Right?

But then why am i standing here, pants around my knees, head to the wall, ass out? 

i shift my weight a little, leaning into the wall more.  Yes, it was a rule.  i agreed to it.  Why did i agree to it?

i picture His face. His hands.  Consider the way i feel when i have pleased Him.

i sigh.

i agreed to it because i wanted to deepen the connection between us.  Because i wanted to belong to Him.  i wanted to feel His dominance more strongly.

As those feelings rush back over me, i feel a wave of deep remorse.

i’ve messed up.  Really.  Seriously.  

i couldn’t even follow the simplest rule. 

Good grief, what’s wrong with me?  Did i think it didn’t matter?  

How could i be so stupid?  He’ll think i’m not taking this seriously.  He’ll think i’m just “testing him,” and acting out for attention.  He won’t even want me anymore.  

All that rushes through me, and i’m trying to find some balance, cause i know that maybe this is too extreme, that i’m too upset, i feel like i might cry.  What if i’ve ruined everything?

i want to turn around and say something to Him, want to tell Him i’m sorry, that i’ll never do it again.  i almost do ~ i’m just about to lift my head and turn around ~

~ when i remember ~ He told me to stay here.  

So i stop.  i don’t move.   

Ok.  

i may have messed up before, but i can obey Him now.  

i turn my attention to where i am now.  Focus on my body, the feeling of being in the corner.  The physical sensations.  The nakedness of my bottom.  The slight discomfort of the position.

The fact that my pussy is wet, i can feel my juices on my inner thigh.

Exposed, vulnerable, and controlled.  

i long for His touch, i want Him to come get me and spank me.  i want the punishment to be over.

And i re-focus on where i am now.  Waiting.  Remorseful for disobeying.  Aware of the damage to our relationship.

Was i testing the limits on purpose?  i don’t think so, but maybe.

Cause really, if i have rules and i never break any of them, than how would i know if He was serious about them?  

But i didn’t do this on purpose.  Didn’t know it would feel like this. 

i feel tears building up, and bite my lip hard, blink them away.  i am not going to cry.

My mind is clear now.  i agreed to the rules because they structure our relationship.   i want to belong to Him ~ i want that so much ~ and this is a way to remind me that i do.

And i ignored that.  Blew it off like it didn’t matter.

Sigh…

It’s ok ~ well, it will be ok.  i’ll stand here for as long as He wants.  i’ll accept my spanking, no mater how hard it is. And anything else He wants, i’ll be glad to do it.

This is what i want.

i don’t know how much longer He leaves me there.  i have moved into that space in my mind where there is more sensation than words, more awareness than thought.

So i don’t hear Him come up behind me until He’s there, and i startle a little.  

He puts a hand on my shoulder, fists a hand in my hair, lifting my head.  

“Have you had enough time to think, my pet?” He asks.  “Are you ready to explain to me why we have rules? And why it’s important to follow them?”

Instructions Sent

26 Oct

i’ve gotten instructions for my date with Sir X.  

We’re meeting at his house tonight, which is actually a first time event.   He apparently wasn’t comfortable having guests until He’d done some thorough cleaning.  But Saturday was a big cleaning day at His house, and now He’s ready for visitors.

i’m to come home after work, have a light meal, and leave 45 minutes before i’m due at His house.  No food at His house.  This is an evening of “carnal pleasure,” He says.  

i’ve gotten explicit instructions on what to wear ~ a dress with buttons, or a shirt with buttons and a skirt.  Frigging buttons.  i have exactly three shirts that have buttons.  One of them is a flannel shirt.  i’m pretty sure flannel is not what He has in mind.

And it wouldn’t go with a skirt anyhow.   It’s a flannel shirt.  Perfect for cleaning house.  Going on a hayride.

i’m going to have to get a new wardrobe with buttons.   Sigh.

So i get off work at 5 today, fortunately, which will give me time to get home and change clothes and ~ you know, get ready.

He will give me directions to His house ~ i haven’t gotten them yet.  We went by there once, so theoretically i know where it is, but you know me, i couldn’t find it again for love or money.

i know what part of town it’s in.  i have a general idea, and i could find the area on a map.

Which i’m sorely tempted to do.  

i just want to see ~ if i leave work and come home, am i retracing my steps when i go to His house?  Would it make more sense to take clothes and change at work, stop somewhere for a light meal, and then go to His place?

And i almost pull up google map, when it hits me ~~~

~~ O, wait!  This is what got me in trouble last time!  Trying to plan ahead and make sure i knew where i was going.  Couldn’t just trust his directions, had to run around and see where they led ahead of time.

Ok.

Not gonna do that again…  nope.

i’ll wait.

If He texts the damn directions one street at a time, i’ll wait.

i can follow directions.  i can.

And maybe i’ll run over to the shopping center next to work and look for something cute to wear with buttons…

******* i haven’t forgotten about reporting back on classes for Kinky Kollege – more on that when i have a little more time ~ and when i’m not distracted by finding clothes with buttons ~ and the spanking bench awaiting me…********

Anxious or Excited?

18 Oct

So, there i was, all complacently looking forward to my evening…

laughing…

Did i think this was some vanilla relationship?  Omigoodness…

i got an email from Sir X that has put my day into a whole different perspective.

He had not made a big deal about my failure to follow directions Saturday afternoon, other than referencing it a couple of times.   But apparently He has lost some of His confidence in my ability to follow instructions so, um,

um,

He’s going to punish me.

Gulp.

But i’m fine with that, i think that will help me feel better, but um,

i don’t know what He’s going to do.  We’ve never talked about punishment.  i have no idea what to expect.

So i’m a little anxious about that, but then He says ~

~ we’re going to have a geography lesson.

Geography.

i don’t DO geography, youall know that, o, yikes.

What kind of lesson???? i don’t know…

So i’m a little anxious about that, and then He says

~ He’s going to do a body inspection.  Um, yes, my body.

Orifices will be probed.  

i should make sure my ears are clean ~

~ and i have this moment of panic, does He think my ears are dirty? of course i’ll clean them ~

~~~~OMG ~~~~~~

it’s not my ears i have to worry about.

OMG.

Following Directions

17 Oct

When i saw Sir X Saturday night, He raised a very good point.  One that i had not even thought of.

Earlier that day, when we’d met for “lunch,” He’d given me very explicit directions about where to meet.  To be exact, He’d texted:

“I’ll meet you, my car, park yours, f street, northbound, one block before Broadway, walk north to the first statue, I’ll pick you up there.”

That’s pretty clear, right?

Especially if you know, as i do, that f street is one-way going north.

Does it say anything about driving around the block a couple of times trying to make sure I was in the right place with the right statue?

Um, no.  It really doesn’t.

As He pointed out, if i’d just done what He said to do, i would have found the statue just fine.

So, He asked, did i not trust His directions, or did i not trust my own ability to follow them?

Good question, right?

Ok, it was probably a little bit of both.  i don’t have a sense of direction, can almost get lost in my own backyard, and He knows that.  In fact, He kind of likes that, He says it gives me a vulnerability that’s appealing…

And of course He’s right ~ if i’d just done exactly what He said, i’d have been in the right place.  And if i hadn’t been, He would have found me. 

It’s a little bit of a wake up call for me ~ a reminder that i’m not as obedient as i’d like to think or as submissive as i want to be.   

Because ~

~~ here’s the thing ~~

i needed to feel in control.

And knowing Him, He purposely picked the kind of task that would challenge me.  Yeah, He’s that smart and insightful.

Have i mentioned that i’m wild about Him?

This is the first time that i can think of that i clearly didn’t meet the challenge of what He wanted me to do.  He wasn’t upset or angry, but He’s been clear that it wasn’t what i was supposed to do.

And that’s made me think hard about it, and how to correct it.  i’ll be more aware of that tendency in myself, and do better with it next time.

On a whole different note, i went to the BDSM discussion group yesterday.  It was fascinating.  Here are some of the questions we discussed:

• What is the most important quality for dominants?  For submissives?  For switches?
• What is the most detrimental quality for dominants?  For submissives?  For switches?
• What qualities define D/s relationships as opposed to vanilla relationships?
 Do you personally believe you were born into the orientation you have chosen, or is it something that you “learned” in some way or another?  If you had had a different upbringing, would you still have been the same kind of orientation you are?

There were lots more questions, many of which we didn’t even get to, but it was a terrific discussion.  And now i’m curious.  

What do youall think?  

How would you answer those questions?

Comment or email me your thoughts – aisha.hisservant@gmail.com – and if it i get a good response, i’ll do a post or two about the discussion…

i should have some time to play with it later this week ~ i’m going out-of-town Wednesday, first to a work training, which should be really interesting and fun, and then to Kinky Kollege in Chicago.  i’m thinking being out-of-town will relieve me of all kinds of other responsibilities.

Before that though, Sir X and i are getting together Tuesday night.  {Grinning…}  i can’t wait.

The Path of Service and Mastery

21 Sep

The third spiritual path of BDSM that Raven talks about is the Path of Service and Mastery.  There is so much here that speaks to me.  He says,

Service is about attitude, about learning to give yourself a good attitude about whatever you’re doing.  It’s about joyful service, not service done with”murmuring in the heart.”

This idea actually comes from the rule of the Benedictine monks, which describes how to be a good monk.  Raven says that Joshua studied this rule as part of his training, as part of his learning how he was going to serve.

i’m a little bit familiar with St. Benedict’s rule for his monks, so this was easy to imagine.  For example, the chapter  on obedience starts out:   

“The first degree of humility is obedience without delay.”

And how often do we talk about that?   Isn’t that often a basic expectation for the sub?  Further on in the chapter, Benedict says:

“But this very obedience
will be acceptable to God and pleasing to all
only if what is commanded is done
without hesitation, delay, lukewarmness, grumbling, or objection.”

There’s much, much more about the Path of Service, but i want to look at the Path of Mastery a minute.  Benedict says:

However, just as it is proper 
for the disciples to obey their master, 
so also it is his function 
to dispose all things with prudence and justice.

Raven says the Path of Mastery invovles motivation, that the Master scrutinizes every order He gives to be sure it comes from “a clean place.”  To be sure it’s not vengeful, petty or self-serving.

Of course it can be “self-serving” in the sense of being what the Master wants.   In the lifestyle, we agree that serving the Master’s wants is a reasonable goal.

But it needs to be “cleanly from there.”  So ~ without hidden agendas or secret motives.  

i think this means that the Master has to be very clear with himself or herself what he or she actually wants.  i think it takes tremendous strength of character to be this kind of Master.

Anyone who wants to call himself a Dom or a Master needs to have a certain level of integrity.  Needs to be able to control himself and act rationally.  But someone on this spriitual path is actively working to increase their ability to ~ as Raven says ~ act from the right motives ~ or from clear motives.

The example that comes to my mind is my ex-husband, not the first one, but the second (and last) one, who was {maybe} a Dom.  One of the last things he said to me was, “All those {kinky} things  we did?   I didn’t want to do them.  I just did them to please you.”

That’s the ultimate muddy motivation.  He’s whipping me with a riding crop without warm-up or after care strictly for my pleasure?   Then, um, don’t do it.  Please.  That wasn’t a necessary part of my kink ~ and he knew that.

In fact, he was lying.  Believe me, i know this.  i think he’d started telling that lie to himself because he couldn’t face his own sadistic part.

Ms. Constance says that it is often very difficult for a Dom or Master to recognize that there is a part of His “self” that enjoys inflicting pain on someone else.  That this maybe more difficult than accepting that i kinda like receiving pain.

That makes perfect sense to me.

In my mind, Master and slave, Dom and sub, are on parallel paths that criss-cross but are not the same.  So the Master is working on knowing and mastering himself as much as being Master to his slave.

The slave or sub is working on learning to obey, rather than to agree.  

Agreeing is what we do at first.  He gives me an order and i {quickly} decide if it’s something i’m willing to do.  If it is, then i do it.

When i learn to obey, i do it without weighing out whether it’s right or wrong.  Without that split second of deciding.  i just do it.

i think it’s perfectly reasonable to agree at first.  It takes tremendous trust to truly obey.  And ~i don’t think everyone who calls himself Sir or Master is worthy of being obeyed.

But agreeing is not obeying.  Obeying comes from a deeper place of trust.

Last night, i was hog-tied.  i agreed to it.

He had not told me to get my mat.  

He put the rope harness on me first, it wraps around my hips, between my legs, the rope pulled snug, and back up to my waist.

Then, “Lie down,” He says, “Face down on the wood floor.”

It’s a quick pause ~ can i do this?  will i do this?

Then yes, of course i do, and it looks quick, i think, but the pause is there.  And that’s ok.

Once i’m lying face down on the floor ~ and how odd that feels!  He ties my hands behind my back.  And then, attaching to the rope at my hips on the way, connects my hands to my feet.

After checking to make sure i’m comfortable, well, not comfortable, but ok, He tells me to take a little time to think about the fact that i’m hog-tied face down on a hard, wood floor.   To ponder what that means about my submission.

He turns away and i don’t know what He’s doing, but with my face down on the floor, i do as i’m told and think about what it means.

At first, i’m kind of wiggly.  It’s not very comfortable, and i’m squirming a little bit, which makes the rope running between my legs move, and that’s not all bad either.

But i think about what it means, that i’m lying here like this, how it feels in my body to be restrained this way, and as i do, my body grows still.  

i notice this, and feel myself relaxing into it.  

All of my body ~ my arms which had felt strained, my legs and hips, even my neck ~ relaxes into it.

It is that open, receptive feeling ~ that big  “ahhhhh, yes,”  of submission.

The next time He gives a command like that, there will be less agreeing and a little more of obeying.  It takes time ~ it should take time.  But He is moving me that way.

There’s more ~ much more ~ to say ~ tomorrow.  

More on Nipples

8 Sep

Yesterday,  i should have waited to finish my post until i had taken off the little loops on my nipples  – cause o, yikes.    As i had feared the previous day, it was difficult to get a fingernail under the loop to loosen them ~

~~ leading to some tense moments.  i thought about calling the firefighters, as Sin suggested, but instead i tugged and pulled on them til i got them off.

Whew.

Interestingly, even though they don’t hurt a lot, the sensation lasts for a long time.  So even a half hour later, in the shower, when the water hit my nipples, i could still feel the slight discomfort, which was quite pleasant.

When i put my bra on, the material brushing against them, brought the feeling back.  

And really, they stayed hard for a long time.  It was interesting.

i’m wearing them again this morning, since He asked me to play with them.  i find myself tightening them more, seeking a more intense sensation.

And i think about how clever He is, to approach it this way.  He could have given me detailed instructions on how long to use them, how tight to make them, how many times to play with them.  

But no.

“Play with them,” He says.  “I’ll want a critique.”

And instead of being focused on some tension between His instructions and my feelings, i’m all focused on my feelings.

Discovering that i want some pain, That maybe these little nipple nooses, as he calls them, aren’t quite ouchy enough.

But then i think about the other clamps he showed me ~ not alligator clamps, C-clamps.

And i imagine my nipple, crushed between the two pieces of metal ~ o, it would be cold too, wouldn’t it?

O.

And the chain dangling between them ~ it’s a thick chain…

and i’m pretty sure that would be too much.  At least right now.

But one thing i’m learning about Sir X, He’s taking His time, leading me so smoothly there’s no question of resisting.  

He’s subtle.

Gentle.

Firm.

He’s quick to give feedback, lots of stroking, lots of warmth, very specific, detailed praise ~ and the occasional correction.  

As i write that, i can picture Bob scoffing at it, making some snarky comment about my neediness.  And that’s ok. 

i know what’s happening.  As Sir X talks to me, messages me,  i can feel myself being drawn into His control.  Beginning to trust Him.

Wanting to please Him.

Sigh… i can’t wait for tonight.

Sir X and The Gift

4 Sep

So just a few minutes into my first meeting with  Sir X Friday night, He said He’d brought me a small gift.

Have i mentioned that He does some rope?  Well, He does, so when He said it was something He’d made, i thought it might be a rope something.  But when He gave it to me, i didn’t know what it was.

{I put it on the green background so it would stand out.}  

It looks like a little person with wheels instead of legs, right?  Well, maybe not, but that’s how my mind works.  Very cute.

So He asks if i know what it’s for, or what you can do with it.  i admit that i don’t have a clue. 

“Well,” He says, “you can open the top part of it a little bit…”

Now it looks like a big-headed person with tiny wheel legs, right?

But now you can put something in the loop at the top 

My little finger, for example.  

But just “for example,” because then it clicks, what you could put in the loop.  And once you put ~whatever ~ in the loop, you pull on the bottom circles, and that tightens the loop around the ~ whatever.  

And as it clicks in my head, i blurt out, “But shouldn’t there be two of them?”

And He laughs, “Well, yes, there usually would be a pair.  But i just made this on a whim before i came over here tonight, so there’s just one.” 

i thank Him. nicely i hope, and tuck it away in a safe pocket in my purse.

Last night, Sir X was really very low key, which was nice.  There were only a few times that i actually  felt that Domly energy i love, just enough times to assure me it was there, lying in wait.

Today, i get an email that suggests i practice using the small gift, noting that using it can be tricky.  He suggests i try it both on the right and the left side.   He notes that he’ll want a critique of it later.

So, being the forethoughtful kind of person i am, i wonder what will be tricky about it.  It occurs to me that once i tighten it up around my nipple, the nipple will get engorged, and swell up around the rope, and it might be tough to get back off.

So i try it on the right nipple first.  i tighten it up really slowly.  It doesn’t really hurt a lot.  The nipple gets a little swollen, but not too much.  i kind of like the sensation.  

And He didn’t say i had to make it hurt.

It’s a little more difficult getting it back off.  I can’t actually loosen the noose, but i’m able to slide it off the nipple.

Then i try it on the left .  

Feeling more confident, more adventurous now, i tighten it til it does hurt, but just a little bit.  The twinges of pain come and go.   i pull my shirt back down over it and keep working on this post.

The shirt rubs against it and i’m aware of the sensation, and yes, i suppose it’s labelled pain, but it’s not bad.

i tighten it a little bit more.  Pull my shirt back down.  i’m not wearing a bra, so it’s not pressed against anything, the shirt rests loosely on it.  Little twinges of little pain, fairly pleasant.

Yes, it makes me wet.  Makes me a little squirmy.  This is the first nipple clamp type thing that i can actually imagine wearing for any length of time.

This time i leave it on longer.  Keep making it tighter.  

But not too tight.  

You know, i’m here by myself.  

i picture not being able to get it back off, my nipple eventually falling off… not that i’m prone to being overly dramatic…  just saying.  

It could happen.

 

Discipline (Part III)

16 Aug

“Come on,” says Selena, “You know the drill.  In the shower.”

“Are youall going to do this all week?” i ask, stepping into the shower.  

Diana shrugs, “That depends on you.  At some point, you might earn the privilege of showering on your own.  In the meantime,” she grins, “you’re all ours.”

They wash me quickly, not roughly, but matter-of-factly, and shave me, just as they had the previous night.  Much to my dismay, they rouge me again, my nether lips and nipples, and my mouth.  i cannot imagine appearing like this in front of someone else.

Selena pulls on my nipples, hard, before applying the lipstick, and i feel a responsive twinge in my pussy.  i think i can smell my own juices.  She looks at me for a moment, smiles, before she finishes applying the bright coloring to my hard nipples.

“Who’s coming for dinner?’ i ask.  “Do youall know?”

They exchange a look, i don’t know what it means, but Diana shrugs and says, “Lots of people come to Him for advice on training their sluts.  What difference does it make who it is?”

As she talks, she unlocks the closet door, swings it open.   i gasp.  Hanging on the inside of the door is an extensive array of whips, crops, and floggers..    Selena laughs.  “You hadn’t seen the inside of the closet before?”

i shake my head, “no.”

There are clothes in the closet too, and Diana rifles through them; pulls out a corset.  The most beautiful purple corset you can imagine.  She hold it out to Selena, “This one?”

“Yes, that works, lets see if it fits, i think it will,” says Selena.

“Do you have different sizes?” i ask, wondering what kind of person The Major is.  Does He just kidnap random women all the time?  The thought makes me sad.

“Some different ones,” says Diana.  “They’ve been acquired over the years for parties, from parties.  Some of them are ours.  This one isn’t though.  This one He bought with you in mind.”

She puts the corset on me.  It doesn’t cover my breasts, it raises them, exposes them instead, the nipples pointing forward.  The color they’ve applied tonight has a purplish tinge, the color of the corset highlights it.

Selena begins to lace it, loosely at first, apparently making sure it’s coming together evenly, then Diana helps her as they tug on it, lacing it tightly.  

When they are finished, i am constricted.  i can breathe, of course, but i’m very much encased in the corset, it contains me.

“Now the shoes,” says Diana.  The shoes are purple too, high heeled and strappy.  The straps become laces, and they have me put each foot on a little stool while they criss-cross the laces up my legs, over the calves, finally tying them, rather like this:

Sexy High Heel Strappy Lace Up The Leg Sandal

Between the shoes and the corset, i appear to be all tied up.  They turn me so i can see myself in the mirror.  i am embarrassed and delighted.

The rouge between my legs and on my nipples so clearly draws attention there, and the corset is made to reveal and highlight those parts that we usually keep covered.  My waist, of course, looks slimmer, my legs longer ~ overall, i can’t help thinking i’m a fairly sexy wench.

They put a collar on me then; tonight it is a silver chain, like a dog’s choke collar.  The extra length of it lies in the hollow of my neck, cool and  heavy.  

They had taken off the necklace with the tokens on it, the 3 punishment tokens, but they add the tokens to the collar, dangling each one from a link on the chain.  There are two on one side, and only one on the other.  With little discussion, they agree to add a fourth one “for balance.”

“But,” i can’t help protesting, “But i didn’t do anything, He won’t think “that’s four,” will He?”

Diana rolls her eyes, Selena laughs, “Of course He will,” she says.

A wave of panic sweeps over me, this is so unfair, tears well up in my eyes ~ He will think i’ve been bad, He’ll be disappointed in me, AND omigosh, they could add as many as they like.  There’s nothing i can do about it.  i start to protest, “But that’s -” and i was going to say “not fair,” and i realize that’s ridiculous, this has nothing at all to do with fair.

They’re watching me, waiting, curious.  i don’t even know what expressions flit over my face as i take this in.  i gulp.  Fight back the tears.  Only then do i say, “i hadn’t ~ i hadn’t quite realized.  But of course, yes,   i am ~ i am ~ under your discipline too?” 

“Certainly you are right now,” says Diana gently, pinching my nipple, not so gently.

They finish putting chains on me, on my wrists and ankles.  i am a little dazed, not knowing what to expect next.

At last they are finished, satisfied with their efforts.  They point out the marks left on my ass from earlier, admiring them, and i realize that i agree, they are pretty.  i like the way they look.

“Pinch your nipples,” says Selena.  “Go ahead.  Hard.  Make them stand out.  Yes, just like that.  See how pretty they are?”  i’m embarrassed still, but she’s right, it is pretty.

“He wants to display you, you know,” says Diana.  “That means He’s pleased with you.  Proud of you. Don’t let Him down.” 

They attach the leash to my collar, and lead me out of the room.  Down a hallway, and into the room that is like a study.  He is seated in one chair, and for a moment, i am only aware of Him.  

He stands and they drop my leash, nudge me forward.  The leash dangles, i’m aware of it touching my pussy as i walk toward Him.  Some part of my mind notices the other man in the room, he has stood as well.  But i move toward The Major without a glance in the other man’s direction.

Nervous, hoping i do this right, i raise my lips to His.  Brush them lightly.  Take His hand and caress it with a kiss on the palm.  

i kneel then, and He takes out His cock, allows me to kiss it.  i long to do more, but He puts it away, sits back down.  The other man had already sat back down, and i wonder if he rose as a courtesy, as men sometimes do when women enter the room.  “Stay there,” says The Major, to me, and i remain kneeling in front of Him.

To the other man, He says, “I’ve not trained her to greet others yet.  That will come later.  And what you don’t want to do, what i wouldn’t do, is tell her to do something before I’m sure I have her unquestioning obedience.”  

He gestures to me then, motioning for me to come closer, and when i do, He allows me to sit at His feet, the corset keeps me from curling my body quite the way i’d like to, but i am as close to Him as i can get.  “Good girl,” He says.

And my heart is filled with joy.  My pussy throbs, i grin at Him, and a shiver runs through me.  Right here is exactly where i want to be.