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Submission

11 May

 i can’t quite feel it.

The surrender.  The sense of belonging to.

i can’t quite feel it anymore.

…laughing… maybe i’ve become vanilla – lost my submissive self somewhere along the way.

That can’t really happen, can it?

i need to be tied:

Book cover - Shibari, the Art of Japanese Bondage


i need to be spanked:

Notice her legs twisting - i know what that feels like...


i need to be held.


New Limits

9 Dec
“One extends one’s limits only by exceeding them.”  ~~ M. Scott Peck
 
 
We went out to eat Saturday night, some lovely Thai food , and then we went to the munch.  It was in the basement under a bar this month – the venue we’d been using didn’t keep their commitment to us, so Mr. Michael had to scramble around and find someplace at the last minute.   
 
The munch used to meet regularly in this basement space once upon a time, so it was a little nostalgic for Sir D and other old-timers.  The rest of us were just glad to have somewhere to meet.
 
Of course the party was held in our dungeon, and we headed there after the munch.  A bunch of people went upstairs and had drinks first though.  So there weren’t a lot of people at the play party right off – and no one was actually playing.  Sir and i kept wandering from room to room, but nothing much was going on anywhere. 
 
It was – um, it was almost kind of boring.   Occasionally, Sir actually said, “Ho hum.”  And i was almost afraid we’d  leave.  But instead –
 
– He decided we’d play!
 
So He got out the ropes, and i took off my clothes.  i was delighted, of course, and loved it.  The energy was different than last time – maybe more fun and a little less intense?  I don’t know – it would be hard to capture the difference exactly.  For sure, it wasn’t a better/worse kind of comparison, but it was – different.  Of course.
 
i loved it.  And i think i’m not giving it the attention it deserves, but there is more to tell after – that’s on my mind today.    
 
After – after i was dressed again, and still glowing and buzzed, after the ropes were put away – Sir said, “Do you mind if I suspend someone else?” 
 
i could feel Him wanting to.
 
So of course i said, “No, go ahead.”  
 
Even though just last month the very idea left me feeling devestated.   But i was ok with it –
 
– at first.  And then –
 
as i watched Him getting rope back out, and –
 
– the woman we know from another part of the state and her Dom came over to Sir and – she is absolutely beautiful, and has an amazing hourglass figure and she took off her clothes and was stretching –
 
                                                 – then –
 
– i felt old and sad and lonely.  There were tears in my eyes, and i didn’t want anyone to know, so i went upstairs.  i could still watch if i wanted to, from the balcony, and i did for a while.  But i felt –
        
                         – you know.   Sad and lonesome and not good enough.  And i was NOT going to cry.
 
So i sit on the stairs for a while, where no one can see me unless they happen to walk up them.  And i think.  And think.
 
Last month, at least three women sort of threw themselves at Sir and asked to be suspended.  And at least two men asked Him to suspend the women they were with.   He turned them all down that night – at least partly because He knew i couldn’t handle it. 
 
Do i expect Him to turn down everyone?   forever?
 
i sit and think.
 
He loves doing rope.  i know that.  And at least He’s suspending J, who i know and like, and who i think likes me – unlike some of the women from last month, who looked through me as if i weren’t there.  
 
i think –
 
              – Why am i being so jealous hearted?
 
My heart says:   “Because  –
 
– Because  i don’t want Him to feel connected to other women the way He connects with me – i want to be ‘the special one.’  i want what we have to be special.  i don’t want Him to feel that with other women.”   And for a moment, it feels like my heart is  breaking.
 
And then – sitting there in the almost dark – i realize –
 
                                                it’s ok –
 
        it can’t be the same with them.  Even if He felt the same (and i don’t think He does) but –
 
even if He did –
 
                             they don’t.  They don’t feel the way i do about Him.
 
And maybe i’m wrong.  You know, i don’t know them all, so maybe i’m wrong.  But i think that they want the thrill of being tied up and flying – and i get that.   For sure, i don’t blame them.  It is wonderful, and Sir has a gift for doing it.
 
But i want to be with Him.  Whether He’s tying me up and making me fly, or walking around the dungeon, occasionally saying, “Ho hum,” i want to be with Him.   i don’t even know if He knows that or not – but that’s what makes me different from “them.”  And i know it.
 
So i go back and watch.  It is kind of fun to watch Him, the beauty of it, even from the outside.  It’s still not easy, but i’m ok.
 
Then she is up – she’s flying – and happy, and loving it.  Sir gestures to her Dom to come closer – to get under her, to get under her on the blanket on the floor.   So they can play while she flies.
 
And Sir comes over to me, where i’m sitting, and pulls me up to Him.  He holds me close, and kisses me, and then i’m really ok.   Really ok, all the way through.
 
He has a gift, and some serious  skills, and He needs to share them.  i don’t know if it will always be comfortable for me, but He always needs to be who He is.
 
So i watch Him take J down – she is clearly having so much fun, and He is too, really.  When she’s down – He picks up a length of rope –
 
 
– and crosses the room to me – wraps the rope half way ’round my neck – circles it around my waist – and pulls me over with Him, under the suspension frame.   Standing in the middle of discarded pieces of rope, He kisses me thoroughly, taking my breath and leaving me smiling. 
 
Then He says,
 
                         with His most charming grin,
 
                                                       “Help me clean this mess up?”
 
i’m delighted to help Him coil the rope, and i learn the right way to do it –
 
               and all is well and right in my world.
 

M & M Munch (Part IV) – Flying

10 Nov

Did i tell you that i took my clothes off first? 

When Sir first calls me to Him, in the suspension area, of course He directs me to take my clothes off, the black leggings, the cute tunic top in black and gray and turquoise.  “The bra too?” i ask, mostly kidding, because it’s my new bra that He bought me at Victoria’s Secret, and i do enjoy the feeling of wearing it – nothing makes me feel sluttier than wearing expensive lingerie that He picked out.  That He bought me.

Whew.  It makes me hot to remember – the whole Victoria’s Secret mystique, just being there with Him, and then at the register, with the perfect panty/bra set, and He’s paying for it – and – i don’t know –  it’s like a public declaration of what a good slut i am.   Do you all know what i’m talking about?  

And it’s a pretty bra, so i almost don’t want to take it off, but i don’t want to miss the sensation either, the feeling of the rope against my skin.  So i slip the bra off too, before i stand in the middle of the suspension rig, under the hook He will tie me to.  He has attached a big ring, dangling “caribiners,” the clips used in mountain climbing, to the hook.

Once i am prepared physically, stripped, and moving into that awareness of my body, He heightens the feeling.  He directs me to stay fully aware of my body, to communicate any discomfort to Him.   He begins to spin a web with His words, tying me to Him before He ever touches me with the rope.

Then He begins.  The rest of the room has faded away.   He starts the rope around my chest – i hold my arms up so He can wrap me. 

There is a young man who wants to learn rope, He is with us there, under the suspension rig, and Sir is describing the steps as He does them.  i had thought it might be distracting, but it’s soothing instead.  i listen, without paying attention.

“Wrap the rope like this so it stays flat,” He says, and i feel Him press the rope against my chest, demonstrating.  i’m interested in what He’s saying, but it doesn’t mean a lot.  i don’t try to understand or remember it.  i let His words run over me like warm water.  

Mostly, i feel the rope. 

He’s using a wider type of rope tonight, i don’t know why, but He says He thinks it will be more comfortable.  i think that if He says it will be, then it will.  It’s smooth against my skin, a silken rope, not rough at all.   Sensually soft, wrapping me tight, my chest, under my breasts, lifting my breasts.  Around my hips.  Around my ankles.  Wrapping round and round..

i am lost in the sensation.  Lost in Sir’s voice.  When He talks to me, the sound changes.  It is not the soothing litany of Him describing the steps He takes to bind me.  When He talks to me, it pulls me back, as if He’s tugged on the invisible rope between us.  i am totally aware that i need to listen. 

He asks, “Is that comfortable?  Does that feel ok?”

“Yes, Sir.” i say.  O, yes, Sir, it does.

“Ok, lean forward a little,” he says –

-and i do – and

– O!  Omigoodness!

Magically, i’m rising in the air – face down – lifted off the ground – suspended by a few ropes –

i’m flying –

i really am…

******************************************************

     “More than anything else the sensation is one of perfect peace mingled with an excitement that strains every nerve to the utmost, if you can conceive of such a combination.”  ~~Wilbur Wright

*************************************************

And i would have been perfectly happy if it had stopped there.  Instead – i hear a sound behind me –

and suddenly –

Sir is lying on the blanket on the floor under me.  i’m surprised – and delighted – to see Him there.   He’s smiling, and i think i am too.  For a minute, we’re just looking at each other and i realize – 

– i feel this rush of energy, and i’m overwhelmed with a sense of love.   

And then –

He raises his arms toward me, palms up…

i move my arms so my palms are facing His, an inch or two away from Him…

and the energy flows between us.

Then –

i feel myself begin to move.   Moving to my right, beginning to move in a circle.

He has not touched me. 

He is moving me with His hands, without touching me. 

i begin to spin…  slowly, gently spinning in the air.

i am not thinking then, not questioning.  i am just feeling and enjoying and loving the moment.

And then –

Honestly, this happened –

He stops me.

With His hands – without touching me.  He stops my spinning – and –

He reverses it.  i began to turn the other way. 

*********************************************************************

He stops then – just one turn the other way and He gets up.  He is behind me, above me.  “Are you ready to come down?” He asks.

“Yes, Sir,” i am ready.  i’m floating, and i’m tired, and yes, it’s time to come down…

He lowers my legs first, so i can stand.  He’s explaining again to the novice, describing the steps, but i’m not listening, i’m drifting still, floating on air, both feet on the ground. 

He tells me to straighten my body, and i do.  He begins to unwrap me.   The rope comes off smoothly, whooshing over my skin.  When He gets to my ankles, He directs the young man to unwrap one ankle, and that’s nice too,  feeling them working together to let me go.

i’m off balance, almost a little dizzy.  Then there is a chair, and a blanket wrapped around me, and i’m floating still…

A short distance away, i see Mick and Molly.  They are wrapped around each other.  i smile to myself, think vaguely that they’ll be leaving soon, seeking the privacy of their hotel room, seeking sexual release…

And then they are beside me, telling me good-bye.  i think i say it again, how glad i am that they came, how nice it’s been to meet them.  But i am still barely there.

Really, the rest of the night is a blur.  i untangle some rope for Sir.  i like the feel of the rope in my hands.  It seems to take me a long time, but there’s no hurry. 

i put my clothes back on.   

There’s water, and popcorn.  

Sir talks to some people.  i think i smile and say hello.  i’m glad i’m not expected to talk much.  

i lose Sir once – i don’t know how it happened.  We are in the kitchen, i’m getting water, and i see Him go.  i follow Him, but i think i turn the wrong corner, and when i turn back, i don’t see Him.  So i wander for a little bit, from room to room, just looking for Him.  It begins to seem like a long time.  i feel almost like when i get lost –

that panicky ‘i’ll be lost forever- i’ll never find Him’  feeling –  

and then i know better.  i sit down in a chair.   i curl up in the chair, and i wait.  i know He’ll find me.

And He does.   

M& M Munch – Part III – The Dungeon

9 Nov

The dungeon is just as i remember it. 

 

Only you have to imagine the people...

 

Mick and Molly are as wide-eyed as i was the first time i came hereAsking all kinds of pertinent questions about the equipment and protocol, some of which i answer, some of which i defer to Sir D.  At first, things seem ordinary, as people arrive slowly, change in the dressing rooms.

We leave our stuff – Sir has a toy bag, a rope bag, and a bag with clothes;  Mick and Molly have a backpack.  We pile it up on one of the chairs in – in the room with all the chairs. 

“Can you change out here?” asks Molly, “Do you have to use the dressing room?”

“Molly,” says Sir, slightly emphasizing each word, “You can do – anything you want to do,” and he smiles, a slightly wicked smile.

Mick puts on his collar.  It’s a regular leather collar, and it looks good on him.  i think he becomes a little more deferential at that point, not that he hasn’t been all along.  The effect is increased when Molly attaches a silver leash.  After that, he is close by her side at all times, unless specifically directed otherwise.

The dungeon is warm.  Sir changes his shirt and sweater for a t-shirt. 

i am a little warm, and my shoes are a little uncomfortable.  i had brought some jeans and a shirt,  flat shoes and a sweatshirt for after, even knowing i probably wouldn’t be in my clothes too long.   But my feet are uncomfortable, and i’m just a little warm.

“May i change clothes, Sir?” i ask.  He looks at me, looks up and down, pauses, considering.  “No,” He says, “i think i want you to stay in that.”

(My pussy clenches as i write those words.  Why is it such a turn on to do what He wants?)

Molly looks surprised. She looks at me, “Are you going to change?” she asks.

“No!” i say, surprised myself now.  i pause.  “Molly, for now, in this space and time, i mean not at work, but now, i do what He tells me to.  If He said – kneel – i would.  Right now.  No question.  i’d do – anything, really.  Of course i won’t change if He doesn’t want me to.”

He smiles, shrugs, “just a preference,” He says.  “Because i can.”  His words send little waves of excitement through me.  i smile, acknowledging His claim.

And then our attention is caught by something else – the couple with floggers, maybe, who use one of the St. Andrew’s crosses for a large portion of the night, the rhythmic sound of floggers adding an extra percussion layer to the background music.  We wander, people’s apparel becomes more clearly fetish wear, and scenes begin to unfold.

Mick has mentioned the matching sorority sisters, and i’ll let him elaborate on that. 

At some point, Molly decides to get more comfortable, and loses the dress, adds some beautiful elbow length gloves.  You can see her picture here.  Mick stays even closer by her side, if that’s possible.  We wander, separating and coming back together, as they explore the dungeon space. 

i follow Sir around as He talks to different people, introducing me often to people i haven’t met yet.   More than one person wants Him to do rope with them during the evening, and i’m relieved that He turns them down.   i hope that He wants to play with me tonight as much as i want Him to play with me.   

We run into some new friends who we’d met at the munch in Sir’s town.  They’re from a considerable distance away and have been camping out in the dungeon all weekend.  It’s fun to see them again. 

A St. Andrew’s cross opens up for use, and Sir asks me how i’d feel about “doing something with flogging,”  and of course i’d be fine with that.  But as we’re saying it, before we move close enough to signal our intention, another couple moves into the space.  The other crosses are in use.

So we settle ourselves near the suspension rig, and i can tell that Sir’s thinking “rope,” so i am too, wondering what He’ll do tonight. 

 

You can see the suspension rig in the far left corner. We're actually sitting in some chairs around the corner.

 

i hope that Mick and Molly are having a good time, i think they are, although i think they would maybe enjoy the COPE event more, where sexual contact is on the menu.   But i hope this will get them well-primed for more intimate activity back in their hotel room.

As the scene in front of us starts to wrap up, i know that i’ll be fairly spacy later on.   So Mick and Molly and i exchange early good-byes – i want to be sure they know how much i’ve enjoyed meeting them and sharing this time.  i mean, really.  If you’d told me a year ago that i’d be writing a kinky sex blog, and that i would get to know some other bloggers who would then step out of the computer to come play with me and my Dom in a dungeon – well, i can’t even imagine what i’d say!

And it’s  been soooo much fun.  i am still close enough to my first time in the dungeon that i can imagine their feelings, as i watch.  Molly is more transparent – her eyes widen, she nudges me, gestures at the sights that interest and amaze, whispers, ‘Look.   What are they doing?” sometimes.  Mick is less expressive, but i can feel him taking notes on it all in his head.

But then – the scene is almost wrapped up, and Sir says, “Get my rope bag, please.”  i bring the wrong bag first, and start to take it back, but He says, “that’s ok, leave it,” so i do, and go back for the right bag.   (Thank goodness, He’s let me take my shoes off a little bit earlier.)

Sir tests the ring on the suspension rig, swinging from it for a moment, before he starts unpacking His ropes.  He calls me to Him.  With just a few words, He moves me into that space where i begin to lose track of the people around me.  They fade away, become background noise, as i listen to Him. 

“I need you to stay aware of your body,”  He says.  “Let Me know if the rope feels too tight, pinches or feels like too much pressure.  Can you do that?”

“Yes, Sir, i will.”

 “Try to stay aware of how fatigued you’re getting.  I want you to try to let Me know a little bit before you get so tired you’re thinking, ‘o, just let me down.’  Can you do that?”  

“Yes, Sir, i think i can.” 

Then – “Kneel,” He says – and i do.  Gladly.  This time, He half kneels with me; He’s at my level.  Commanding all my attention, he talks to me,  pulling me deeper into connection with Him. 

Truly, the rest of the room disappears.  i’m aware of the space directly around us.  Nothing else quite exists. 

There’s a young man we’d met – one of the threesome who’d been camping out at the dungeon – who was wanting to learn rope.  He joins us in the suspension area, and Sir begins explaining what He’s doing as He does it.  i had wondered if this would be distracting, if it would disturb the connection between Sir and me, but instead, the spell is woven around the three of us.  

So i feel the rope, spinning its magic around me, and i can hear Sir describing what He’s doing, and all my senses are focused there.  i remember to pay attention to how the rope feels on me, attending to the sensations so i can tell Him if anything doesn’t feel right. 

*************************************************

i had every intention of finshing this today.    Really.  i wasn’t looking to carry it on another day (even though it probably staves off sub-drop.)   But – work is calling my name.  i need to get there early today, not just barely on time.   So i’ll stop here – finish tomorrow, ok?

Rope (Part III)

26 Oct

It would have been ok if the adventure had stopped there – my first suspension – with all the excitement and pleasure of that.  Lying on the blanket He had laid on the floor, smiling.  But instead…

He looks down at me for a moment.  As i start to struggle to my feet, He puts His hands on my shoulders to steady me and guide me.  i need the help, my arms are still pinned behind my back.  

He grins at me.  “How was that?” He says, soft and low.

“O!”  i can’t stop smiling.  “O, it was – fabulous!”

“You want to try another one?  A different suspension?”
 
“O!” i feel like that’s all i can say, “O, yes!”
 
“I’ll do a hip halter this time,” He says.  “This might be a little more comfortable.”  So He is spinning rope around me again, and around me again, wrapping me.  
 
i am still attached to the pulley, so it doesn’t take long to be ready.  And i am so buzzed anyhow, the rush running through me, that time no longer exists.  It is all Him. His hands.   His voice.
 
And He does – these things – with the ropes, and then my leg is raised, just the left leg, and it’s a little awkward, but not too uncomfortable.  He says,”It’s all up to you now, you just shift your balance, lean back when you’re ready…”
 
So i do, i lean back.   And amazingly – it’s a lot like this:
 
 
 

Like lying back in a rope chair, except i'm the chair...

And it’s surprisingly comfortable.  Only one leg is actually suspended, but i lift the other leg, cross my legs, and i can swing myself back and forth.  i even spin a little.

And the excitement, the thrill is sooo strong, not so startling this time, and i have more control, but  i’m laughing again, and Sir D is watching me, enjoying what He’s done…

And then in a little bit, i begin to get tired, and He realizes it and lets me down.  He begins to unwrap me…
 
Reversing the process, starting at my hips, then my ankle, my thigh.  Working His way over my body, releasing me.  Toying with the rope, snaking it over my body. 
 
i can tell already, the rope marks are clear, leaving a pattern design where they pressed on my body.
 
And He is watching me, watching my face, watching my body respond to Him.  Pulling the rope…
 
And finally, finally at the very end, He unties my arms.  And for a moment, i think i’m so stiff it will hurt to move them, and it does, but just for a second.  And then they’re fine.
 
And He’s holding me, hugging me close, and i’m happy
              
                        and content
 
                                        and tired
 

and then He lets go and starts to unfasten the rope pulleys He’s made.  And i start to get dressed, but i stumble, and He says, “Do you need to sit down?” and i can only nod.  “Sit here,” He says, pointing to the blanket He has laid on the ground. 
 
So i do, i sit right there.  And i’m suddenly very cold, so i pull the blanket up around me, curling up on myself while he takes the rope down.  Sir hands me some water, and i drink.  And then a piece of candy, which makes me smile.
 
Then, when He’s through with the rope,  He cuddles me just a little, and helps me up. He leads me to a quiet alcove nearby.  With the blanket half draped around me, half trailing me, i follow Him. 
 
And we are still enjoying the moment, savoring the connection.  i’m floating, buzzing, happily drifting, and i think He is too, in a Dom-space kind of way.
 
Finally, when some people move into the area next to us, preparing for a flogging scene, i begin to move again.  i get myself dressed, and give up my blanket. 
 
Sigh.
 
i loved it. 
 
Thank You, Sir.
 
Can we do it again?


 

 

 

 

Rope (Part II)

25 Oct

So i’m kneeling, watching Sir D attach rope to the suspension frame.  The other people, other activities in the room begin to fade.  i’m focused completely on him.

“Get up,” He says, “and take your top off.”

He helps me to my feet – takes my hand, and grasps my hair firmly, pulling  me up.  i tremble, almost stumble, but there is a railing around the play space, i catch my balance, reach for the rail.  He releases me.

i barely think about it now, getting naked in front of these people, and it doesn’t matter anyhow.  i take off my jacket, drape it across the railing.  Pull my top over my head.  Standing there in my bra, it takes me a minute to turn the top right side out, watching Sir is distracting.  Finally, i get it done; i  fold it and lay it on the rail too.

He glances at me.  “Your boots and your jeans,” He says.  i wonder if He can tell i’m in that space where waiting for His direction seems like the only thing to do. 

i unzip my boots, the cute ones with the laces in the back.  Slip them off.

When i dressed for the evening, we’d decided i should wear my fishnet thigh highs under the skinny jeans, just for this purpose.  Now, as i peel the jeans off, the stockings are revealed.  i pull the jeans straight, lay them across the railing.

He glances at me.  “The bra too,” He says, sounding a little surprised.   i reach behind me, unhook the bra.  Slide the straps down my shoulders, and place it on the railing.

i know that it’s cool in the room, i was comfortable with all my clothes on.  But i’m not cold now – or if i am, i don’t know it.  i’m waiting for Sir D to tell me what to do next.

“Ok, stand here,” He says, moving me to the space directly under the suspension ring.  “i want your arms behind your back this time, like that morning at the hotel, when i was practicing the tie on you.”

i put my arms behind my back, bent at the elbows, each hand grasping the other arm.   i move my grasp as close to the elbow as i can, and “I want you comfortable,” He says, “Make sure it’s comfortable, and there’s a little room,” He takes my arms and pulls them away from my body a little.  

“Ok, that’s good,” He says.

And He begins.  Tying my arms first, securing them behind me.  

Then, wrapping the rope around me from behind, around my upper chest, so i am pulled into Him each time He reaches in front of me.   Round and round…  wrapped like a package.  Leaning into Him when i can,  feeling the softness of His shirt against my shoulders.   Feeling His breath on my neck as he wraps me.

Mmmmm.

And i lose track of time, and i can’t tell you the sequences of what He does.  i am securely wrapped around the chest, and under my breasts, lifting my breasts.  And He bends down, kneels Himself, as He spins the rope around my thigh, just my left thigh. 

Puts a knee up, has me put my foot on his leg, on his upper thigh, as He kneels to wrap my ankle.  He is with me, talking sometimes, but always focused on me, and i on Him.   The rope connects us, and the energy hums between us.

Then He is standing again, standing in front of me.  He pulls ropes through the clips on the suspension ring, attaching ropes that are attached to me, creating pulleys.  And then – 

– i am leaning sideways, He’s tightened a rope so that i’m leaning sideways, pulled off balance, and  –

          – for just a second, i’m afraid im going to lose my balance, going to fall, and then –  

                    – i realize that i can’t actually fall – i’m attached to the ropes that create the pulley, and –

                              – i do fall, off balance, and my left leg goes up as my chest goes down, 

                                        – and i’m hanging, completely off the ground –

                                                  – sideways for a minute, gasping in shock – 

                                                               O! O, my! and laughing and Sir D is laughing and then –

                                                                      -i’m upside down – yes, head down, leg up,

                                                                                       Omigods and goddesses!

But just for a minute or two, i’m so shocked and laughing and loving it, and He’s pleased too, and then He lets me down, slowly, using the rope pulley,-

                            – lowering me down

                                                                     – and down.

                                                                                             Til i’m laying on the ground, on my side,

                                                                                                                          still smiling…

Rope (Part I)

24 Oct

i’m at home again, after going to Sir D’s and the classes, munch, and play party where He lives.  Tried to take a nap.  But i become aware of my body tingling.  i don’t quite know why, but it’s nice, and it’s energizing.  i can’t possibly sleep. 

i guess it’s a buzz.  i am still buzzing.  Not surprising.

Yesterday.

O, my.

i can’t write about it either, not coherently. 

Classes – dungeon safety, and edge play.  i know more about being safe.  More about being not safe.

Munch – food, conversation, great stories.  i wish i could share stories, but they’re not mine to share.  Sir D makes the statement that we agree is the Dom quote of the day:

“It’s just easier to do it my way.”

{Laughing}  Yes, no doubt.  i can attest to that.

Play Party –  O.   Um.  Whew.

There was rope. 

And me. 

And Sir.

i’ll tell the first part. 

We talk about doing an “impact play” scene or a rope scene – i don’t care which we do.  Either one would be lovely.  Sir decides to do rope.

He decides to do a partial suspension.  One leg on the ground, one leg suspended.  That’s  fine with me.

So we’re at the party.  There is a structure for suspension.  Another couple uses it first; we watch and wait.

They are finished.  Sir D goes to the structure – it is up in the front of the room, a little bit lit up.  Not exactly on stage, but kind of.  The frame is kind of  like a swing set frame.  Sir puts a ring on the hook in the middle – like a huge key ring, but much sturdier.

The suspension ring is used for suspending someone using rope, by suspending the ring from somewhere else. Additional rope or lengths of rope then suspend the person from the ring.

.

He puts his weight on it to test it.

The ring has a number of metal, narrow, triangular pieces dangling from it.  i can’t find a picture of what they look like – sorry.

Anyhow.  He attaches the ring to the bolt already set in the wooden structure, and tests the weight, and then He gestures to me, “Come here,”

So of course i do.  i am  already in that head space of heightened awareness of my own body. 

“Bring both my bags up here, please,” He says.

i’m glad to do it.   i go back to our table to get them, and return carrying the one bag over my shoulder, the other is a little suitcase on wheels.  i pull it behind me.  i even remember, when i get to Sir, to push the button on the handle so i can push the handle back in – my first instinct is always just to push hard on it, cause that’s how mine works.

He opens the case, the bag.  Then looks at me, i’m just standing there, watching.  Waiting.

“Kneel,” He says.

i catch my breath – really?  here? O, yes, of course really, and why not here – i don’t think i even ask it aloud.

i kneel.  In the front of the room, in front of everyone.  But i kneel for Him. 

He has my attention.  My complete attention.

*********************************************************************

i think i’ll try again to nap.  i’m sure i’ll be back soon to finish the story….

 

 

Going Home

19 Sep

Going home sated.  Sated with orgasms – thank you, Sir D. 

 We ended the morning with some rope play.  There was a tie He wanted to practice.   So there i was, freshly showered and all.   Arms behind my back. 

Being wrapped.

 Contained. 

And then, all tied up, He throws me down on the bed.  Arms pinned behind me, my hips raise up, legs spread –  and – O, my! 

Multitudes of orgasms… a plethora of orgasms… a virtual cornacopia of pleausure.

And now, sigh,

 i need to finish packing – quickly, He’s ready to pack the computer.

Sigh.

There’s lots more to tell – i’ll be writing for days.

love,

aisha

Play Party (Part IV)

4 Sep

So there i am -wearing a black lacy bra, see-through lacy black panties, and a Shibari rope dress.  Making my way to the bar in a crowded dungeon.   And feeling beautiful.

i successfully get my bottle of water from the bartender, and walk back to Sir at our table, walking with my head up this time.  Take a drink of water, offer Him some.  He shakes his head, no. 

 “I’ll be  back in a minute,” He says, and walks away.

i’m left standing by our table.  There’s a mirror behind the table.  If i turn my head a little, i can see the top half of myself.  My torso encased in the rope.  i admire the design.  My lips curve in a half-smile, i look happy.   

 i’m getting a little tired though.  i decide to sit down while i wait for Sir to come back.  Gingerly, i start to ease myself down into a chair – only to pop right back up.  As i bend my legs, the rope between my thighs, the rope that’s already pressed firmly against my swollen pussy, tightens even more.  It makes sitting a really bad idea.  i  stand.

The man sitting next to me smiles.  He says something, i think he says, “Lovely subby.”  Could that be right?  In any case, i just smile a little more.  A woman and a man pass by, nod at me.  “Beautiful,” they say.  

Then Sir is back.  He glances at me.  “Rope too tight to sit?” He asks.  i nod, “Mmmmhmmm.”  

“I thought it might be,” He says, unconcerned.  And then He moves close to me, arms around me for a minute.  Whispering in my ear, sweet words in my ear.  It melts me. He melts me.   i have to put my hand on the table to keep standing, my knees feel weak.  

And then – He draws back a little – and i hear – i don’t know how to write it – i hear “SNICK.”  The sound of his knife opening.  He has opened his knife.

O, my.

i know that Sir is not going to harm me.  i know He won’t  cut me.  i do.  i know that.   He won’t.

 So why does that sound send a shiver through me?  A rush of fear.   i feel the sharp tip of the knife press against my skin; i hold my breath. 

The knife caresses me.  Moving in careful strokes along my skin, following the pattern of the rope.  It feels like – you know that moment when you cut yourself, right after you realize you’re cut and a split second before it starts to really hurt?  That’s what it feels like. 

 It feels like He’s cutting me. 

i know He’s not, but even knowing that, i’m sure He is.  Just a little, i think.  i think there will be traces of the knife on my skin, maybe a fine line where He has cut my skin.  i shiver.

i don’t move.

He is watching me, watching my face, and i know that i have moved into a different space.  Ok, call it subspace, but you know, i was already there and this is somewhere else, somewhere more. 

i float. 

It is not an out-of-body experience.  i am not less there.  i am more there.  Totally in my body while He cuts a design, a design that follows the pattern of the rope. 

i know He is not cutting me.

i think the marks, the lines the knife must be leaving, will be pretty.  i am not worried.

It goes on for a long time, and when He is through, He holds me again.  i’m turned on and revved up, i’m drained and weak.  i am – o, i am in that space.  i know – subspace – but that doesn’t do it justice. 

It is the space between this world and the dream world.  Not quite real, not quite unreal.  And while i am there, He says, very close to my ear, “You haven’t had an orgasm in a long time.”  i nod.  i haven’t.  Not in a very long time.  “Would you like to have one?” He asks.  O, yes.  Yes, i would, very much.  i can only nod slowly.  O, yes.

“I think I have something here,” He says, opening His bag of toys.   He pulls something out and holds it up for me to see. 

It is small.  Some kind of small, rectangular thing.  Still not sure what He’s doing; i watch langorously. 

Then i hear a noise – a buzzing – and i  realize – O!   It’s a vibrator.  A pocket rocket. maybe?   And it’s on.

i’m trying to imagine how He’s going to do this -how  will He put it between my legs? – but he slides it in, between the rope and my belly.  Just tucks it in, and of course the rope is tight enough to hold it.   So now the rope is vibrating. 

 Tightly pressed against me, the rope vibrates  between my legs.  Pressed up against my hot, wet, swollen pussy, the rope is vibrating.  Between the cheeks of my ass , vibrating.  All over my body.  O!

i realize that i’m going to have an orgasm, right here in a public dungeon.   In front of strangers.  And i don’t care.  In fact, i’m happy about it.  i begin to squirm a little, trying to get the rope to hit directly on that spot.

O.  My hips are moving, not in circles, but back and forth, almost up and down, trying to get it it right there.  Mmmpf – almost – if i can just –

-people actually stop to watch.  i don’t care –

almost, almost –

yes!!!!!!  o, yes!!!

A lovely, shivering over the top and down –  whew.  O, my.  O.  So much better.

Mercifully, Sir turns the vibrator off.  Ahhhh, yes.  That was so perfect.  Mmmmm.

And His arms are around me as He begins to unwrap me.  Mmmmmm.  O, my.

It takes a long time, i think.  Hours, maybe days.  He unwraps me.  Deftly, His hands pull, holding the tension just right.  The rope slides over my body, again and again, again and again.  Runs through His hands.  He pulls it back to Him, the rope leaves my body, returns to His hands.   It is alive between us; humming again, it lets me go. 

Over and over, on and on it goes.  i stand and watch, He watches the rope and watches me. 

And then the last bit of rope is gone.  Laid in a pile on the table, lifeless for now.

Sigh.

And His arms wrap around me, pull me down to a seat, at last, pull me closer to Him.  i’m cold now, so cold.  i shiver and He holds me closer, and closer.  i curl into Him, seeking His warmth.

He strokes me and pets me and whispers those words i love to hear.  “Good girl.  You did good for me.  Such a good girl.”   Those words that make me purr, that make my pussy clench even now, that send shivers through me just writing them.  Just remembering.

***********************************************************************************************************************************

And i have been halfway still in that space all week.   i thought i would crash.  Maybe badly, because the experience was so intense, and lasted for so long.  But it hasn’t happened yet.   Maybe because i haven’t been able to finish writing it til now.   Maybe because Sir has stayed in touch with me so i still feel connected to Him.  Maybe for some reason i can’t even imagine. 

And now (after two days of orgasm denial, of course) it’s Saturday and Sir is coming to visit.   <smiles>  My nipples are hard, my inner thighs tingle in anticipation.  My heart beats faster.

Last week, before i left, when we were talking about naps, i took a shower.  Clean and ready for more, i fling myself on the bed where He’s lying and wait for Him to look up from His laptop.   He glances at me and says indulgently, “What are you doing coming to bed all naked?  Greedy girl!”

And o, my He is so right.  i admitted it then, and now too. 

i am greedy for His touch, for the caress or the slap – i’m greedy for the taste of Him – His mouth on mine, my mouth on Him, licking and sucking His cock, tasting His cum –  greedy for the things we do together, and for the things He does to me.   I am grateful too – grateful for all of those experiences, grateful for all the joy He brings.

   

Play Party (Part III)

1 Sep

And then we are there.  At the play party.  It looks like any bar – well, if any bar has a spanking post.  And a St. Andrews cross. 

O, my.

Many people are wearing clothes.  Some people are not.  A couple of naked men appear quite comfortable, seated at their table chatting with some other folks.  A woman is cuffed to the spanking post.

 i ’m excited and nervous, thrilled and anxious.  Awkward of course, following Sir around like a shadow.  He introduces me to some people.

Finally, we sit down at a table.  i watch a scene playing out in front of me – in front of everyone – on a raised platform.  The man twrls his floggers like – i  don’t know like what.  A performer?  A cowboy?  i  don’t know.  She submits, struggles, and submits again.  It’s incredibly sensuous.

i am aroused. 

Other things happen around me.  People kneel.  People offer and serve. They laugh and talk and sip drinks. i listen and watch.

Sir talks to some people.  i listen and watch.

 i want to play.  Sir has told me that we probably won’t play tonight, and i  accept that.  But i want to.  

Excitement is all around me.  The air tingles.   i vibrate and tingle in response. 

Such beautiful scenes – i  can’t describe them.  Not today.  Men in chains.  A woman i  had met earlier with her Sir; she is naked now, her body gracefully curled on the floor, her head on His knee.  He strokes her head with one hand.

Then – then – He, my Sir, says… 

“I want to do some rope.  Do you want to?  I want to do a rope dress.” 

Thrilled, i nod.  O, yes, i do want to. 

He says, “We can do it over your clothes.  Or – what are you comfortable taking off?”

i smile.  “Well.  My jacket  thingy.  i’m comfortable taking that off.”  He nods. 

“And – my chemise.  i ’m ok with taking my chemise off.”  i pause.  “And – my jeans.  i’m ok with taking my jeans off.”  Pause again.  “I don’t know about anything else.” 

“That’s fine,” He says.  “But you have to put the shoes back on!”  

“Of course,” I nod.  “O, yes.  Definitely, the shoes go back on.”

 In the small suitcase on wheels, the one i’d pulled in, is Sir’s rope.  Have I mentioned that my Sir is an expert in Shibari,  Japanese rope bondage?   

“Bring me the suitcase, please,” He says.   

Self-conscious, i walk to the corner where we’d left the rope and the bag of toys.  i pull the suitcase back with me.  Awkward, anxious, thrilled. 

He begins unpacking the rope.  i am watching Him, but He looks up – “Go on,” He says with a nod, “Clothes off.”

 Time stops…  but i begin.  My top first.  i fold it carefully and lay it on a chair.  Then – o, what next?   My heart is pounding. 

My jeans next.  But i have to take the shoes off first.  They slip off easily, then i’m standing again.  There is a mirror on the wall behind me.  i can see my face as i unbotton, unzip, and tug the jeans over my butt, slide them down my thighs.  my eyes are bright and excited, my lips curve up.

 i sit to pull the jeans off completely.  Fold them too.  Unbuckle the shoes, slide them back on, re-buckle.  And now –

i stand again.  Raise my arms and watch myself pull the chemise off.   

i am standing in a dungeon full of strangers, in my bra and nearly-see through panties.  The room swims a little, i brace myself with one hand on the table.

O, my.

 My mouth is dry.  He has the rope laid out, is ready to begin.  “Sir,” i say, “May i have some water first?  Before we start?”   

“Sure,” He says, “Go ahead,” and He nods toward the bar.  I gasp.  I look at Him, look at the bar.  i am nearly naked.  People are standing all around the bar.  

“Do you need some money?”  He asks.  

“O. O, no.  That’s ok.  i can wait.”  There’s no way i can walk to the bar in my underwear and get water.  No, i can wait.

And then He starts.

He starts with a loop that’s tied and it lays around my neck, lays on my chest, between my breasts.  Centered just where He wants it. 

Rope around my waist, around my chest.  “Turn,” He says, and i turn, he wraps, and says “Turn.”  i turn again.

 The rope hums as He wraps me.  I make a noise – a slight hiss maybe, catching my breath – and a man next to me nods. “The sting’s part of it,” He says, “part of the rope experience.” 

But it doesn’t sting to me, it wraps me, round and round it goes.  There are knots and more turns and it’s tight between my legs.  Even with my panties, tight against my pussy, tight between the cheeks of my ass.  It is tight around me, holding me snug.  I am wrapped. 

Rope around my arms and tight around my legs, sleeves and a skirt, i suppose.  And He is watching me, watching me and making the rope hum as he wraps me.    

Then He is done. 

And i am standing in the dungeon in a dress of rope.

 He smiles.  He is pleased.  “Beautiful,” He says. 

i smile too.  i feel beautiful.   

Then He says, “Did you want some water?”  And He’s digging in His pocket.  “How much is it?”  He says.

 i almost panic – there are people at the bar.  Lots of people.  Here in our little space, almost behind a table, i don’t feel so exposed.  But –

 Can i walk through this room full of strangers?  In a rope dress? 

Of course i can.  i lift my head.  “It’s a dollar,” i say, and, as He hands me the buck, “And something for a tip.”  He adds some change. 

I turn away, but freeze again.  How can i walk all the way up there?   Exposed like this – for real. 

He is watching. “Go on,” He says casually, “Go get your water.”  And He waves a hand at me, dismissively, as if He’s shooing me away.   

i am almost offended.  Hmmph.  He may not think this is a big deal, but it is.  Then –

i square my shoulders.  i can do this. 

 i take a first step toward the bar.  And a second.  My shoes wobble, but just a little.

Those first few steps are hard.  i keep my eyes cast down a little, not wanting to see anyone watching me.  Focus on my steps, on my shoes.  But then –

 There is a woman in front of me.  Fully dressed.  She stops, stands in front of me til i’m close to her.  “Beautiful,”  She proclaims, and i breathe more deeply.  She is talking about me, in my rope dress.

  “You.  Are.  Beautiful.”  Her words bless me; I feel the words hover around me and land. She has anonted me with her words. 

i smile.  i am beautiful.

And I walk to the bar with pride.   

****************************************************************************************************

You might think this is the end of the story, but o, no.  There’s plenty more to come. 

 Unfortunately, my computer is in the shop.  And will probably be there for another 5 or 10 or 15 days.  So be patient with me.  My computer access is so limited; I can’t even read anyone else’s blogs.  It’ll take me forever to get caught up with youall. 

And I can’t tell you how much I miss you!!!  

aisha

 *******************************************************************************************

Here’s a picture of a rope dress.   But my arms weren’t bound.   And there was rope around my thighs.  i couldn’t find a better picture – if someone has one, send it to me, ok?  And i’ll post it.  Sir D – maybe you can find one????  Because Your dress, the one You made, was lots prettier than this one.

But my bra and panties were much prettier, and i don't have a tatoo