Tag Archives: Jay Wiseman

In Need of Correction…

24 Oct

No, not me, in need of correction, well not exactly… but my post about Jay Wiseman and rope is in need of correction.  Next time i decide to quote technical stuff, i’ll consult the expert before i hit “publish.”

So, along with a Friend Request on fet, i sent Jay {i think it’s ostentatious to call him “Jay Wiseman” all the time, don’t you?  Like i want to make sure you know it’s not just ANY Jay…}  Anyhow, i sent Jay a link to the post today about his class.

He sent me a message back.  It said:   

Hi (again) aisha,

Thanks for this. It’s very well written and I appreciate your comments.

Oh, two clarifying comments:

1. The actual quote is..
the scrotum
is not
a load-bearing
hardpoint. 😉

2. Numb limbs in bondage make me a bit nervous. True, numbness per se (absent “bad pain”) does not seem to correlate with an increase in post-bondage problems, but I’m not entirely comfortable telling people to ignore numbness — even if, perhaps, it would be fine to do so. Under the “less than 120 minutes” parameter, I don’t really care about changes in color or temperature, or whether or not one can slip X number of fingers under the ropes, but numbness does make me a bit nervous.

(If you’d like to do a copy-and-paste of the above to your blog, and this comment, I’d be fine with that.)

Your blog is very interesting and thoughtful. I just may come back to it from time to time.

Best regards,


i thought that was a lovely correction, and appreciated it and the kind words about my blog too, of course.  And now you know…

…the rest of the story.


The First Class

24 Oct

The first class i went to was Jay Wiseman’s and it was terrific.  He’s funny and laid back and the class flowed nicely.

There were safety lessons ~ mostly the ones i’ve mentioned:

“Bad pain” is the best predictor of a problematic outcome with bondage under 120 minutes ~ “Bad pain” = STOP.   Of course, we all knew what he meant by “Bad Pain,” as opposed to good pain.  Numbness is worrisome too.*

ER trips are mostly due to a fall of some sort.

The scrotum is not a load-bearing hardpoint*.

And ~ i don’t think i told you this one, but it’s maybe the most important one.   BDSM fatalities occur primarily when someone is in severely restrictive bondage and they’re left alone.    

So, ‘Nilla, in your recent story about the adventuresome dogs, i’m glad her Master had only pretended to leave her alone.  

Because ~ saying it again ~  tying her up securely and leaving her is the riskiest thing to do in terms of potential fatalities.  He told a couple of stories about events that led to death, which i don’t remember in enough detail to share, but you know, he has his own website and everything here.

His class was not all talk.  Entitled “Rough Rope, Bondage, Erotic Torture, and Predicament, All in One!” he demonstrated bondage with sisal rope on a very willing victim.

Let me say again, he used sisal rope.  It’s that kind of rough rope that looks like it’s fraying already.  Like this:

Just looking at it, you know it’s going to be kind of itchy and uncomfortable.  And apparently, it is uncomfortable as you get wrapped, but once it’s securely tied, it’s ok ~ unless you move.  Then it’s um, uncomfortable, all over again.

Hence the predicament part of the bondage.  You’re fine, unless you move.  

He described it in psychological terms as an approach/avoid conflict ~ so you “approach” moving, only that’s uncomfortable so you want to avoid it.  But you need to move, so you approach again…

Sin, your Master would love it.  Jay mentioned a couple of things that would force a submissive to move.


Or ~ even better ~ an orgasm.

It was fun watching him restrain his volunteer,  a willowy redhead who stripped to her panties happily and clearly enjoyed the experience.

It was interesting watching her face.  Knowing what it feels like to be restrained, to feel the rope going around me, to feel myself being wrapped…  well, watching her face brought those sensations back.

He put her arms in a harness behind her back, brought the rope between her labia, and then ~ i don’t know if i can describe this right ~ he pulled one piece of it taut between her legs.  Then he wrapped and twisted some more so he ended up with the rope divided so he had two pieces.

He brought the two pieces up between her legs too, but on opposite sides of her labia.  So ~ are you picturing this ~ the one rope is right in the center, then the two strands of rope run on the outside of the one rope, pressing firmly against her…. yeah.

She was a happy sub.

He made her sit, and that was fun to watch.  i know what it feels like from the inside, and it’s like a tiny taste of it to watch her experience it.

There was a woman in the audience who’s new to kink ~ i know this because she announced it several times.  About my age, she’s pretty sure she’s a Domme, and is looking for knowledge and experience.

So she pipes up at some point and wants to know, “What’s she getting out of this?  I mean, what’s in it for her?”

And i had to laugh, because it was so obvious to me that our rope model was in seventh heaven at that point, happily flying in her own head.  But Jay asked her to respond ~

~ and of course watching her try to come back and find words for what she was feeling was fun too.  

Jay commented that sometimes it seems like he’s just the ground crew, and of course we know what he means.  He was doing all the work.  

She was flying…

Makes me smile just remembering it.

* These parts were originally wrong, see In Need of Correction for an explanation.