KBC is Coming

That’s right ~ the Kinky Bloggers’ Convention is almost here.  Time to lock in those travel arrangements.  You can register for the convention here.

Here’s the plan.  Ideally, you ~ and perhaps your significant other ~ will get here Friday evening some time, check into the hotel, and join us at a lovely restaurant for the munch.  Clothing for the munch is street attire.  We have a private room in a  family restaurant.  So you can dress up or down as much as you like, but what we call “the granny rule” applies ~ don’t wear anything that you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see you in.

i’m planning to ask for a special table for bloggers at the Friday munch, so we can begin to get to know each other and feel comfortable in real life (IRL)    After the munch, we’ll also have a Meet-n-Greet of our own, so that people who arrive too late for the munch can join us, and so we can continue getting comfortable together.

i don’t think there are going to be hundreds of us, so by Friday evening, we’ll be cozy chatting like we do in the comments section.  But if we have folks coming in Saturday morning, then we might arrange for a coffee get together in the morning to give them a chance to feel welcome.

Do you sense a theme here?  The whole point of this is for us to connect and build community, starting with just being comfortable with each other.   That creates a safe environment for new experiences.

Then on Saturday we’ll have classes.  Because Bluegrass Leather Pride is the main event, and we are a track within that event, you’ll have the option of going to the main classes or to the blogger-specific classes.  The blogger classes will be open to other folks too.

i’m looking at two classes ~ did i already tell you this?  One of them will be about blogging as an art, or at least a craft.  The other will be about Blogging as a Tool for Healing.   But there will be four time slots for classes, and a wide variety of options, as you can see on the event website.

Then there’s the Saturday munch and Leather contests ~ which should probably be a blog post all by itself ~ and then a play party ~ woohoo!!

 Yes.  Really.  A play party, in a dungeon.  {Ok, not really a dungeon, but that’s what we call it.}

And you can go if you want to, and you’ll be with people you know, and you can play if you want to, or just watch, or you don’t have to go.  Your call.  No pressure.

On Sunday, there’s a final brunch, where we’ll bid each other tearful farewells amid promises to do it all again next year.

Time is flying by.  Over the next month, i’ll go to Very-Far-Away to see my daughter and the most adorable grand baby on the face of the earth.  When i come back, it will just about be time for KBC ~ Kinky Bloggers Convention.  So i need to work fast now.

Talk to me ~ if you have questions, ask them.  Let me know if you’re coming.   Let me know if there are things you want to do.   Mention it on your blog, in case people who read you but not me are interested in coming.

Submissive Controversy

Lots of conversation here in Blogland about what it means and doesn’t mean to be submissive – all interesting discussions.  The original piece that generated the responses was apparently written in response to another blog post, and therefore not even in context, so i’m not making any comment on that.

And really, i have probably already talked the idea to death in different blog posts.  Thoughts drift through my mind.

i think of my old lover, Mike Mudd, saying, “You know how to get a woman to mind you?  You just tell her to do things she already wants to do!” and laughing as he said it.  

“Come here to me, i’m going to make you have 5 orgasms.”  With that for a starting point, you don’t have to be submissive to say, “Yes, Sir!” with enthusiasm.

But there is such conflict generated by the idea that if you struggle to submit and obey, it means you’re not “truly” submissive.   Since submission has as many flavors as ice cream, that’s probably not a sustainable argument.

A while back, i wrote about something i’d read  that talked about sub-categories of submissives ~ ones who obeyed quickly and readily and others who needed to be overcome before they could submit.   {i’m describing that really roughly, sorry.}

This morning i tried googling to find it again, but couldn’t.  i found different ways to categorize types of submissive, but they tended to classify us based on extent of participation in the lifestyle.  Other authors had as many as 9 categories of submissives, and i didn’t read those.  Too complex for me today.

But it occurred to me that the conversation has had the required elements for the drama triangle, and i am impressed with our community that it has not generated fiercer, more unkind drama.  Whenever someone lays down strong opinions as if they were self-evident truths, it will sting someone.

When we feel stung, it hurts, and it may put us in “victim mode.” The first person, the one who’s hurt us, is cast as the perpetrator, the bad guy.   In a community, this split invites others to take sides as rescuers.   

That creates the drama triangle, and in many situations, people end up putting all their energy into defending one point of view over another.   Often, we practically lose sight of the original argument as we begin to disagree on who’s right and who’s wrong.  As people hurt each other’s feelings, the drama intensifies, and gets more painful, and pulls others into it and… 

it can be a real mess.

What i love about the blogging community is that we seldom let it descend into the depths of that trap.   Calmer voices speak up, not in blame of anyone, but expressing their own perspective.  Not trying to impose it on others, but clearly stating where they stand.

That is what saves us from the drama triangle – the ability to say where we are NOT in reference to anyone else, but in our own voice.   What someone else says can be a starting place, it can generate lots of ideas.  And we may initially react to that, from the heart, with passion.

It’s helpful to be able to do that ~ initially.  But once the dust settles a bit, it is just as important to be able to step back and think about it, not in reaction to others, but from our own space.  Important to be able to find our own wisdom.

i’m leery of extremes ~ always and never, everyone and no one ~ those are almost always inaccurate.   Not just the words, but the concepts.  Real life is generally more nuanced than that.   

My submission is not just like anyone else’s, and it is a whole lot like everyone else’s.   We have so much in common, it is the differences that we can treasure and celebrate.

Odds and Ends

i was on a short tether last night ~ no, i don’t know why, i wasn’t in trouble or anything.  When i commented on  it, He just laughed and pointed out that i don’t move much in my sleep anyway, so He was sure it wouldn’t be a problem.

Since He had just spanked me soundly and allowed me to please Him ~ and myself ~ in a variety of ways ~ i was in no frame of mind to argue, so i just said, “Yes, Sir.”  Then i rolled over, so my back was the opposite way from the usual, just to show Him i could.

Also different last night, instead of putting the rope directly on my ankle, He put the leather cuff on my right leg, and tied the rope to the ring in the cuff.  This morning, i had been at the computer for a while and got up to get more coffee.

i carry the tether with me into the kitchen, the cats trailing behind me as usual, pouncing on the rope.  i set the tether down, pour coffee, and move toward the refrigerator for milk, when i realize something feels wrong.  i look down and ~ yes ~ the rope is no longer tied to the cuff.

No, i don’t take that opportunity to make a break for it.  i carry the tether back to the study with me, and am just as decorous as if i were still tethered.  But.  When Sir gets up~~

~~  i quickly tell Him what’s happened.  

He looks stern.  “Untethered?”  He says.  “Planning to run away?”

“No, no, never!” i say.  “i think it was the cats.  They did it.”

He says, “I’m shocked!  I can’t believe you’re trying to blame it on the poor innocent cats.  I bet you did it on purpose,” He says, “planning to escape.”

“No!” i say, giggling madly, “No, never.”

He shrugs, “Well.  You’ll pay later.  With your ass.”   

Hmpf.  i had a feeling it would end that way.  Noooooo, i did NOT do it on purpose.

****************************

i haven’t quite finished the tasks on the list for Inspiring Blogger Awards – and now Jz has nominated me too, so i figure i better get on it.    Y’all know the rules, right?  In case you forgot:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

   2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
   
   3. State 7 things about yourself.
   
   4. Nominate 15 other bloggers and link to them.
   
   5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and requirements.

So here we go.  i probably won’t go notify you, but i might.  Stranger things have happened.  But probably i’ll just hope you get the ping-back notice or whatever you call it.

andi  ~ who just restarted her blog at this link, and who just got the Fabulous Gutter Blogger award.  i love to read her and follow the ups and downs of her life, even when i wish there weren’t any “downs” for her.  She is smart and brave and strong, and i admire her.

pouredout    – she is Florida Dom’s submissive, and i’m just beginning to follow her.  i love that i can read her blog and his blog and follow their paths.  Very cool.

perfectlypoly ~ new to the blog world, but ready to go, she’s going to be lots of fun.

Word Wytch  – who tells fabulous stories that go on for a long time and don’t just disappear when they’re getting good {like mine do.}  Really, she tells different kinds of stories and each one has a unique flavor.

night owl – who’s also fairly new, and tends to do the kind of posts i love, where she’s just had some fabulous insight or recognition of a new approach to take.  Or sometimes she finds her way as she’s writing.  Raw sometimes, her posts have soul.

joolz who just got the award from tori, but she was already on my list.  i’ve just started following her and am getting to know her stories.  

Jake – who also just got one, but deserves another for his commitment to sharing his journey, leading joy down the D/s path.   He is always interesting and an excellent read with a different perspective.

Conina – who i just love to read.  Very erotic adventures she has with her husband, which she shares in sensual detail, with just enough self-examination and insight thrown into the mix.

Fiona – who’s wild about Sir Q, and he about her, and it resonates through the blog and the spankings and so on.  Fiona is a blast.  i think i recently gave her another award.  Oops.

Kitty the Submissive Wife – who is interesting and exciting.  Again, there is deep love between her and her husband, and they are working hard at defining what their D/s relationship will be.  Bright and funny, i thoroughly enjoy her.

Kitty for Mr. Woods – another blogger who’s new to me, but lots of fun.  Worth visiting for the shoe pictures if nothing else.  🙂

And that’s it for today, folks.   i know that’s only 11, but sometime this afternoon or tomorrow, i will probably think, SH*T, Gosh darn it – i left out – {fill in the blank} and now i have room for them.  i tried not to give it to the exact same people as last time, or to people who already got one.  If  i did – oops.  Sorry.  

Back Home

Here i am, back home after my fun weekend away.  i had a lovely time.  My sister and i  have always been close, but in the last couple of years have not spent as much time together as we once did, so this was a treat. 

We had some fabulous meals, went shopping and took advantage of an amazing sale, and talked and talked and talked.  It was great.  

On Saturday night, after dinner, we stopped off in the bar of the hotel lounge to have a drink.  While we were there,  we ended up talking to a very nice man, and then a couple of  his friends who dropped by the table.

The nice man  felt the need to convince someone that he was a feminist, despite belonging to the all-male society known as the Oriental Order of the Groundhog, or OOGH.  Yes he was a groundhog, and it was a fairly fascinating experience, but a story for a different day.

i got home Sunday just in time to spring into action preparing for Sir’s surprise Birthday Party.  No, i had not mentioned it here before because i was afraid He might decide to read the blog, as He does occasionally, and i was protecting the surprise.  

It was just a small family party – about 14 of us – and i kept the preparations simple . but He was surprised and delighted.  We just had pizza and cake and ice cream, but i think everyone had a good time.

His sister and her family came – i had not actually met her before, so of course she had not been to the house.  It was almost time for Sir to get home, and they hadn’t arrived.  i was a bit concerned, but not worried.  

Then i get this text from Ms. Constance:

“The folks looking for you ended up in Josh’s basement.”

My mind reels.  WHAT?

Remember, i mentioned a while back that there was someone in the community who lives in my neighborhood?  Yeah, that’s Josh.  But ~ But ~

~  for a moment, i had this mental image of Josh’s basement as dungeon and Sir’s sister manacled to the wall…  yikes!!

NO, of course that’s not how it went.  

But they did think it was the party, and were introducing themselves and ready to have a good time, when one of the kinky folk, not recognizing Sir’s vanilla name, said, You’re whose sister?  Um, we don’t know anyone named that.”  

It was a titleholders preparation meeting,   Thank goodness they didn’t walk in on a class with a caning demonstration or CBT or some other such thing.

And fortunately, Ms. Constance was able to direct them to the right house, and they thought the folks at Josh’s house were just lovely, so that ended well.  

And then Sir came home, and was surprised and delighted, and we all had a good time. By the time it was over, and Sir had taken the grandkids home and come back, i was half-asleep on the couch, so He tethered me and put me to bed.  It was good to be home.

Of course, time away means i’m further behind on everything, so  bear with me while i try to play catch-up.   

On a whole different note, we were talking about soul mates the other day, and i ran across this quote, thought i would share it here

“A soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life.” 

― Thomas Moore

Gone Fishing…

Well, not literally of course because really?  Fishing?  Me?  Um, no.  Not that i couldn’t do it ~ such is my submissive nature that back in my youth, when i was all fluttering eyelashes and flirtatious enthusiasm, i actually went fishing a time or two.  

Yes.  i did.

i went with a “real” fisherman once, and he made me put the worm on the hook myself.  Seriously.  And i did it.  THAT’S how basically, intrinsically submissive i am.  i probably giggled while i was doing it too.

Of course then when he was teaching me to cast, the reel from the pole ~ i guess that’s what you call it ~ that part that has the line on it ~ well, it came off and fell in the water, and he had to jump in to get it, and since it was spring and about 50 degrees, he was a little cold {freezing} and we left right after that.  No, i did NOT do it on purpose, i was appalled and felt terrible about it.

No, we didn’t go fishing again.

So anyhow, i’m not going fishing, but i’m going to another city with my sister for the weekend, where we will watch the ballgame on TV, have wonderful food with luxurious service, perhaps a delightful glass of wine {or two} soak in a hot tub, and  do whatever else strikes our fancy.  

i’ll probably not be back til Monday, but i’ll be thinking of you.   Y’all have a great weekend! 

Friday Thoughts

Sir says i have a spanking fetish ~ who knew?

{Bursts out laughing…}

Since it was His birthday yesterday, i offered to give Him a birthday spanking, but this offer was not met with much acceptance ~ ok, it was met with NO acceptance.  In fact, any spanking that was done last night ~ and there was quite a bit of it ~ was all on my ass.

Sir is not interested in switch day.  Nope.  Not at all, at all.  {giggling…}  He doesn’t even like to think about the possibility.  Have i made it clear how unacceptable the whole concept is?

Repeat after me:  When does Sir “bottom” for me?  NEVER.  NEVER, EVER, EVER , NEVER.  {more giggling…}

i, on the other hand, may be getting more spanking in the future, although He threatened to make me have to beg for my next spanking.  Is that humiliation play?

i’ve been trying to think of 7 new things to tell youall for the Inspiring Blogger Award, but honestly, don’t youall already know everything about me?  When Sir and i were talking last night about spanking, He said, “Will you blog about this?  Do you talk about stuff like this ~ will you tell them how often a week you need to be spanked, for example?

And i said, “Noooo ~ well, maybe not ~ um, maybe ~ i don’t know…”

So of course i rush right over here to tell youall about the conversation!  How strange is that?  And how could there be 7 things you still don’t know about me?

Ok, here we go, i’ll try.  If i’ve mentioned some of these before, that is not my fault.  

1.  i think i need to be spanked twice a week.  Maybe that will turn out to be to often, or not often enough, but i think that would be just right.

2.  i have a long history of issues with taking library books back in a timely manner.  i can do real well for a long time, then i have one i just won’t take back.  There’s one on my shelf right now.   In my lifetime, i have single-handedly built at least one wing of the library in overdue fines.  

i’ve had family members say that i’m banned from the library, that the library has a picture of me with a big X through it, but i know for a fact that is not true.  They just want me to bring the book ~ or books ~ back and pay my fines.  Then they’ll welcome me back like nothing ever happened.

Hey, i just remembered the questions Jz put out in the universe a while back ~ thank you, Jz!!

3.   What is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you?  

Two African-American women in a therapy group i led , one’s new to group, and pretty guarded and uncomfortable.  The client i’d been seeing a while says to the new woman,  “Don’t worry, you can talk here, she’s not – well, she’s not really white.”

4.  What do you imagine your Patronus as being?  

i imagine my Patronus being a unicorn.  Or a dolphin.

(And what do you suspect it might actually be?)  

Well, i took this stupid on-line test and it said rabbit.  Hmpf.  But i bet that’s because i didn’t sign up for their “go back to school” information.  i bet if i’d agreed to sign up for that it would have been a dolphin.  Or  a unicorn.

And now some of the questions that faerie suggested a long time ago:

5.  Who gets to define normal in your life?  

i do, definitely.  Except i don’t believe in “normal.”  i think it’s a construct designed by people who don’t mind living in a box, who want to make everyone else just like them.  i think we use it to shame people for being who they are, and you know i’m against that.

6.  Do you believe in soul mates?  Yes.

 Have you met yours?  O, more than one.  i believe in the idea of soul mates that says it’s not necessarily just one person.  A soul mate helps your soul grow.  For some of us, that’s different people at different times in our lives.  i believe that Sir is my forever soul mate, or my last soul mate, but there have been lots of people who’ve changed who i am and how i see the world, who’ve touched me on some really deep level.

7.  What does true happiness look like to you?  

True happiness {for me}  is having enough joy in my life to balance out whatever misery and sadness and anxiety there is.  It’s not a simple equation, but that’s part of it.  And joy comes from being able to stay in the moment and appreciate it for what it is.  

i discovered long ago, in a not-very-happy marriage, that i can be happy pretty much regardless of the circumstances around me.  It takes some work, but it can be done.  My life is so amazingly good now, that it’s much easier to be happy.

Thank you again, Daddysnaughtylittlegirl, for nominating me for the award ~ i’ll do something with the “nominate others” part of it real soon too!

Almost an HNT ~ for faithful and fiona and all my funny friends

There has been some interest in me and the tether.  Always wanting to please, i thought i would take some snapshots this morning.  

This is me trying to get milk out of the refrigerator without moving the tether.  The rope always interests the cat.

Yes, that’s my toe down here at the bottom.  Of course, if one cat is interested, so is the other one:

Here’s a bit of robe and leg, just to keep to the whole HNT concept:

And finally, here’s the picture Sir took for me when He got up this morning:

Sir says:  Have you been posting about the tether all week?

me:  Well, actually, yeah, maybe.  You know, faithful wanted to see pictures.  And fiona too.

Sir:  But they’ve already seen pictures of the tether.  Oh!  They want to see pictures of you tethered!  Is that it?

me:  Um, yeah, i guess so.

Sir:  Oh, I see, it’s sub-porn.  Porn for submissives.  {Laughing…}  I should have gotten a consent form showing you’re over 18 before I took that picture.

me:  Very funny, Sir…

Anyhow.  Happy HNT!!

Crazed

i was actually thinking about doing a picture of me tethered for faithful, but fortunately Sir untied me before i got up this morning. 

It is just as well because i was a little crazy yesterday, and expect to be a bit that way today too.   i’m finally doing the preparations for the trip, we weren’t sure of the dates until this last week.  So far i have booked a flight – two flights, actually, then canceled and rebooked one so quickly that i got a full refund.

Made reservations at a hotel in Miami where we’ll spend a night each way of the trip.

Had a small panic attack yesterday because all the VRBO’s (Vacation Rental By Owners) that would have worked for us were already booked,  and it looked like hotels were filling up.  So i made reservations at a hotel that would work, but wasn’t really what i wanted.  They could be cancelled though, so that gave me time to keep looking without quite so much anxiety.

And then i found a beautiful place ~ at least i think it is.  You know, sometimes when you get there, it’s not quite what it looked like.  But i think it’ll be good.  It is directly across the street from the beach – it’s a surfer’s beach, so we won’t actually swim there, but i don’t swim in the ocean anyway, and neither does Sir, and there are swimming beaches near-by.

Consulted with my daughter, consulted with Sir.

It has a stove and refrigerator, which i wanted since Sir is a picky eater ~ and we both need coffee in the morning.  

Don’t laugh, in the picture i can see that the appliances are on the patio, so it is an open air kitchen.  i was not sure how Sir would react to that, but He smiled and said “You can’t expect to take America with you to Very-Far-Away.”

So i know that whatever happens, it will be fine.

Woke up last night in a mild panic ~ could i really cancel the other hotel?  Was it not refundable?  Managed to go back to sleep…

This morning, i was able to cancel it ~ glad i didn’t lose much sleep over that ~ and made reservations at the one i want.

Now, all that’s left on my agenda is making sure the shuttle between the airport  and the hotel in Miami is set up, and in Very-Far-Away, we need a hotel near the airport for the night before we leave and transportation from the airport to the hotel we’re staying in when we arrive – about a 90 minute trip.

So.  As you can see, kink is not even in my head today.  Sir just smiles and says that whatever i decide will be fine, and that increases my anxiety, and my daughter has things that are taking up her attention so i can’t be running to her for input every five minutes.

It would be easier to do if i were just planning for myself, because then if it turned out badly, it would only affect me, and i’d just deal with it then.  As it is, i feel ~ well, you know, i am just a bit crazed.

i will  be more comfortable when i have those loose ends tied up.

in the meantime, check this out:

i’m pretty sure it will all be worth it once we get there.  Right?

AND once i get these loose ends tied up, by tomorrow, i’ll put more energy into the KBC, ok?  In the meantime, keep working on your plans to come and making suggestions for what we can do.

Inspiring Blogger

Daddy’s Naughty Little Girl nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger’s Award – thank you very much!!  This gave me the opportunity to visit her blog, which is pretty cool.  She has a nice approach that includes some fun and interesting non-kink things.

i was surprised to see that out of all the people she’d passed the award to, there was only one that i already knew about ~ Southern Sir.  i start thinking that i know people, but really, i just know my own little corner of the blogosphere.

As always with an award, there are rules.

The Rules

1. Display the award logo on your blog. ~~~  Check!
2. Link back to the person who nominated you. ~~~ Check!
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

i was going to finish the rest of the items on the list this morning, but i’m too distracted. We’re getting ready for a trip to see my daughter and grand-daughter in Very-Far-Away, and it’s been a bit chaotic.  

Like i was up at 3:30 this morning canceling one set of reservations and making a different one.  That was such a whirlwind change that i got my money back for the cancellation from the airlines.  How cool is that?

Now i need to do hotel reservations, and reservations for a place to stay part of the time that will accommodate 6 and has a swimming pool, and yikes, i feel like it all has to be done RIGHT NOW.  

Sir needs to get up and come give me His input on some of this, but he won’t be up probably for another hour.

And i’m still tethered.  Yes.  

The first night, Sunday, He tethered my ankle, and when i was about to get up, He was awake and He untied me.  Nice and easy.

Last night, He attached the rope to my wrist.  So when i woke up in the middle of the night {cats wanting out ~ even though it’s way too cold for them out there} i was very aware of the rope.   And when i realized it was almost 4:00 and i’d been awake for half an hour and wasn’t going to go back to sleep, He was at least half-awake, but He didn’t offer to untie me.

So here i am, in my bathrobe.  The rope is inside the robe ~ it runs from my wrist, up the arm of the robe, then down the inside of it.  And of course the tether is at my feet.  The cats sniff at it, and look at me curiously.  

When i go get more coffee {which i’m about to do in a minute} i’ll carry it with me.

So i’m not focused enough to finish following the rules for the award, but i will soon.  Thank you again, Daddy’s naughty little girl, i really do appreciate it!  

Now i need to go get coffee and maybe put some real clothes on before i freeze to death and die.

Oh, That’s Better!

It was a busy weekend for us here, and i didn’t really have a chance to talk to Sir.  By the time i got home yesterday afternoon, i was emotionally and physically drained.

i kept thinking i needed to talk to Him, and had kind of worked myself into a little ~  panic isn’t the right word.  i don’t know.  i just kept thinking how much i need to feel His dominance, how much better i feel when i do.

Then, before i even had to broach the subject, He told me that He’d been thinking ~ that He wanted to tether me to the bed at night, not every night forever maybe, but every night for a week at least, and did i think i could handle that?

Of course, i had to laugh a little bit.  It was not what i expected.  But it will certainly be a reminder of my place in our relationship.

He was concerned that it would make it difficult for me if i had to go to the bathroom, and offered to get me a bucket to keep by the bed in case that was going to be a problem.  i assured Him that no, i could manage to carry the tether with me to the bathroom!

{Good grief.  A bucket by the bed?  i’m pretty sure He was just kidding.  Um, pretty sure…}

But then He spanked me a bit, and let me take His shoes off, and massage His legs, and do some other things while i was there anyhow.  Then He tied me to the tether and i fell asleep in moments.

It was lovely, and i feel MUCH better.

Kitty, the Submissive Wife, writes a powerful post here about the current limits of her submission.  i’ve read it three times now, started to comment each time, but was not sure i had anything worthwhile to say.  Lots of thoughts ~ but the thoughts are more about my reactions to the post and what i think it means to me, and not necessarily connected with what she meant or where she’s going with it.

First, you know, when she says:

I can not sustainably submit myself outside of the bedroom. Those are big words for me to write. And as long as I am writing them, I will add others – I not only can’t do it, I don’t really want to.

i mentally stand up and applaud her.  i am a huge admirer of people who know what they want and are not afraid to own that.   i strive for that myself.

We each have our own flavor of submission, and the goal is not just to submit but to be more fully who we are.  No one can truly dictate that.

Sir leads me to explore aspects of myself, and i give Him the power to do that,  but ultimately, it is up to me.  Ultimately, the agreement needs to be to my benefit as much as to His.

i find that i am  more emotionally charged and energized  if i feel the expression of His dominance every day.  A spanking, His hand in my hair, sitting at His feet, or being tethers to the bed ~ these things are helpful for me.

 i assume they please Him too ~ i hope they do.  i want them/ need them/ am better off for them.  He doesn’t have to insist or push me to submit to these things  ~ i welcome them.

That’s not to say that i’ll always feel like doing them.  When i had to get up last night to let the cat out, i was not thrilled with having to carry the tether with me to the front door ~ and at the same time, i was fine with it.

But there’s a difference between not feeling like doing something in that moment and feeling like a particular act of submission is not the way i want to be submissive.

So Sir and i are still exploring that ~ what works for both of us.  i think i’m going to give Him a list of submissive things i really like… that should be fun!

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On a whole other note, here’s the link to the Bluegrass Leather Event, which includes the KBC ~ the Kinky Bloggers Convention.  Go ahead and get registered now!!

P.S.  Does everyone else in the entire world actually recognize a Corvette and a Ferrari just by glancing at them as you drive through the parking lot?  Sir says i am the only person in the entire world ~ including developing and third world countries ~ who does not recognize these distinctive cars.  i’m pretty sure He’s exaggerating ~ it can’t just be me.  Also, did youall know that Corvettes are the only sports cars made in America?  i do now.  i also now know the difference between a sports car and a sedan. Learn something EVERY day!