Is your need to submit being met?
O, yes.
If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again?
No. i mean, i could be happy/content by myself, because i have been before, i don’t necessarily have to have a Dom in my life to be ok. But i would not have a vanilla relationship.
What makes submission special to you?
It’s not “special to me,” it’s just part of who i am.
Now, having finished that {yes, i might have been getting a bit bored with it} i’ll move on to other things.
Thank you all for the kind comments you left yesterday on my thoughts about not blogging here anymore. i’ll answer individually too, but it’s nice to know i’d be missed, and i appreciate that.
i started this blog because i’d been required to send First Sir my masturbation fantasies. He liked them a lot, and i enjoyed writing them.
About the same time, i discovered blogs.
i put the two together, and aisha was born.
Back then, i didn’t even know how to create an email address in a different name. First Sir did that for me.
i went from there to a whirlwind of adventures, with so many new experiences and feelings, i could barely process it. The blog became a place to express my darkest fantasies (see the training fantasies} and my highest hopes.
My blog has been a place to ponder things that have happened to me, things i’ve read, things i’ve done.
Yeah.
And it still is.
Today i’m thinking about relationships. It’s so easy to see what we think other people should do or not do. So easy to tell them where they went wrong.
So none of our business.
If you think it’s wrong to have an affair with someone who’s married, don’t do it.
But when you tell someone “Of course your relationship didn’t last,” because of that, you’re not only out-of-line, you’re not being rational or logical. The belief that a relationship couldn’t last and thrive because it began when both parties were married to someone else is simply not fact-based.
When someone says that the BDSM community is too accepting of infidelity, i can only shrug. What does that mean? How should we be less accepting? What would that look like? Perhaps it could involve a Scarlet A?
In my experience, people in the BDSM community are just like people anywhere. Some of them are open and accepting, others just want their own desires validated, and some are as judgmental as any fundamental Christian church-goer.
i used to think that love and marriage were supposed to be a straight line through your life. Even though that has not been the experience of any of the women in my family, i thought that was how it was “supposed to” be.
Shrug.
Our lives have a flow and a rhythm that we don’t always dictate.
A number of years ago, my live-in lover cheated on me. At the time, when i caught him, it was fairly devastating.
In retrospect, it was the best thing that could have happened in that relationship.
It took discovering that he was cheating for me to end the relationship, which was not actually working well. It was just not-working in a way that i didn’t recognize as unhealthy. But it was, and i moved on, thank goodness.
He and the little Tootsie he cheated on me with are still together, living happily-ever-after, i hope. Well, i mostly hope.
But i can laugh about it now. Who knows how long i would have lingered with him? i used to think that it completely blind-sided me, but that’s because i was ignoring the fact that we didn’t have sex for almost a year. Didn’t cuddle, didn’t share orgasms, none of that.
i was ignoring my own needs. What was i thinking???
My life has changed so much, has gotten so much better since then.
His little Tootsie, who was married at the time herself, had two or three special needs children, who i’m sure are benefitting from his fathering, so it was a happy ending all the way ’round. {i guess i need to quit calling her “his little Tootsie? O, maybe not just yet.}
Anyhow.
We’re all entitled to our opinions. And you can say, “I’d never have an affair,” and express whatever beliefs you have about that. But when you start going “tsk-tsk” and telling other people what they should or shouldn’t do, you’re out of line.
You don’t know where they’re going. So you can’t possibly know what paths they need to take to get there.
Um, in my opinion.