Archive | May, 2011

Getting the Message

31 May

So yes, i totally hear what youall were saying yesterday, some of you said it in comments, some of you even more clearly in e-mails.  My favorite words of wisdom went like this:

“Sweetheart, you want some ice cream. All of a sudden a beautiful ice cream cone appears. Instead of giving it a lick, you are wondering what flavor it is, will it melt before you can eat it all, is the cone going to give way and the ice cream fall through the bottom. Damn it! No one knows. No old fashioned rules are going to help here. 

You are alive today and you may not be tomorrow. You can walk and dance and sing today and you may not be able to tomorrow. Grab hold of all that can be there for you. If you don’t like the flavor of the ice cream you can set it down. If it melts slowly away, at least you had a few licks and can smile about those, and if the cone gives way and the ice cream splats on the road you can laugh and step over it. But you also might lick that cone and find a flavor better than you ever imagined, or a flavor so different than what you’ve tasted before that you might head down a new path to find the perfect ice cream for you! But you won’t know by thinking rather than tasting.”

Youall can probably guess that was Donna.  She’s a wise woman.

So, ok, i don’t know why i have to hear that message from outside myself, but apparently i do.  Now, i’ve got it.  Promise.  For the moment anyhow.

“He” – and i guess i better name him – did call me last night.  He worked at the music festival again yesterday afternoon, and i called him in the early afternoon just to say “hi” and “hope your day goes well.”  So then he called me after he got finished.

He was still at the festival though, and we hadn’t exchanged more than a few sentences when someone started setting off fireworks behind where he was, so it was hard to hear.  

He wanted to know if i was tired.  When i said “not too tired,” he said, “So, you want to come by?”  But i said no {don’t be mad at me guys, it was late!  Like 10:00.  i was too tired to go anywhere.}

Anyhow.  He said “ok,” and that he’d call me tomorrow – which is today.

Naming him is tricky.  His real first name starts with a “D,” and i’ve used that.  So for now i’ll call him – I don’t know – “Man i Met at the Festival” is out – that would end up being “MMF,” and that won’t work.  “HD” for Hippie Dude?   “HG” for Hippie Guy?”  

Ok, he’s not really a hippie, right?  How about TC, for “Too Cool?”  

Maybe I should wait a couple of days, see if something better comes to me.  Or – feel free to make suggestions.

In any case, last night, i also started talking on yahoo to a Dom who lives a couple of hours away.   He was interesting and might have possibilities too.  And i’m staying open to the possibilities all around me.  

i promise.

Music Festival II

30 May

i have out of town guests this morning ~ a vanilla friend i’ve known for ever and her daughter, who’s almost grown now.  They came down from Where-Mick-and-Molly-Live for the music festival.  They’re still asleep, but i’ll keep this brief.

So last night at the music festival, i bought a dress – it’s a summery, um, kind of hippie looking dress – but it’s shorter than my usual dress, and very cute.  i had a fabulous Portobello mushroom sandwich, marinated in Italian seasoning and grilled while i watched.  i had a Graeter’s butter pecan ice cream cone, butter pecan in honor of my mother, who always used to get that flavor when i was a kid.

We talked a lot, walked around some, people-watched, danced a little.  And i picked up a man.


Or he picked me up, depending on how you look at it

Actually, i met him for the first time at this same event last year.  He has a booth there, and the rest of the time, he has a little shop in my favorite part of town.  

He does – ok, if i say he’s an artist, you’ll get the wrong impression.  He is an artist, but it’s – an urban kind of art.  And he sells healing oils and incense and stuff like that.  He would like my hippie dress.

Anyhow.  We flirted last year, and that was fun.  He has a wonderful accent, and his flirty lines are closer to soulful than the usual.  Very seductive for me.  i was going to buy licorice root from him, but he was out.  He invited me to stop by his store and get some.

i did, and we flirted some more.  i thought about buying one of his pictures, but didn’t.  He told me to call him and we’d go have a picnic lunch.  i said i would.

But i didn’t.

i don’t know why.  

There’s some energy between us.  i thought about it.  i’ve thought about it since, when i drive past his store.

But, you know.  

He’s probably vanilla.  

And he made me a little nervous.  He’s kind of intense.  A little bit pushy.  

So when i saw him yesterday, and we chatted, he wanted to know why i didn’t come see him.  i say, “i don’t know,” with a little shrug.

He just nods.  “Here,” he says, “Put my number in your phone.  Go on, do it now.”  His voice is gentle, so that isn’t quite as commanding as it sounds when i write it.

When i hesitate, he says, “What?  You want me to put your number in my phone instead,” and he whips out his phone.  That makes me laugh, and without thinking about it, i do.  i give him my number.


He says, “So now we get to know each other.  It’s about time.”  

i mutter something non-committal.

He says, “Did you hear me?  I said, ‘It’s about time’.”  


i nod.  “i hear you,” i say.

So he calls me last night, while i’m still at the festival.  Of course i don’t hear my phone, but he leaves a message.  He just says he hopes i’m having a good evening, and that i can call him back if i want to.   He says otherwise he’ll call me Monday evening.

i’m tempted to go back by his booth for another round of flirtation, but i don’t.  {Thinking about recent posts by LM and Sin – there’s some rules about how to act in relationships behind that, isn’t there?}

And today, i have guests, and family coming for lunch, so he’s the last thing on my mind.  Right?

Ok, they might be sharing space with him in my head.  

But seriously, i’m wary.  Not rushing into anything, even in my own fantasy. Caution is my middle name.


I almost forgot – it’s Memorial Day.  Thank you to all the soldiers who’ve defended our country, and all the soldiers serving us now. Your sacrifices aren’t forgotten. 

FS Tells a Tale

29 May

FS texted me a little while ago, asked if i was busy, could he call.  Of course, i was glad to hear from, although i’m in the midst of house cleaning with friends coming in town this afternoon for Music Festival II.

So he calls, and practically his first words are “How much do you want to know about your mystery woman??”   i was delighted, not dreadfully surprised cause Where-i-Live is not really that big.  A degree and a half of separation.  

As it turns out, he doesn’t really know much more than i do ~ but he has his own picture of her.  He took it last year at a car show, and as you can see, she’s on the move in this one.

His theory agrees with Sin’s – he thinks “her man likes to dress her up and show her off.”    He points out that she apparently enjoys it too, and i totally agree.  She may be required to do it, but it’s not against her will.

i need to tell him though, the man she’s with in this picture is not the same as the one she was with yesterday.  Just for the record.  

Anyhow.  Just thought i’d share the story… and here’s one more picture.




What’s Her Story?

29 May

i went to the music festival i always go to yesterday – the first of two for the weekend.  Had a great time.  

It’s a little bit like a modern-day Woodstock.  Plenty of food and bathrooms, no actual sex, but lots of singing along and even dancing.  People bring chairs and blankets, and while there are sidewalks and some paved areas, a lot of the time you’re on the grass.     

Of course, people watching is part of the fun.  Dress is pretty casual.    From jeans and t-shirts to  summery dresses – lots of Hawaiian looking clothes this year.  Tie-dye.  Pretty, flowing dresses in bright colors.  And there’s lots of variety in what people are wearing.

But it is still a conversation-stopper when this woman appears.

She makes her way through the crowd at her own pace, hips swaying, stepping daintily.   She has an entourage of sorts – a younger woman, a man, and maybe a teenage boy seem to be with her, but at a little bit of a distance.  

And she’s walking in grass, wearing at least 3 inch heels.  Maybe 4.   Sodden grass, still muddy from the months of rain we’ve had.  

Clearly, i’m fascinated.   i watch her pause so people can snap pictures of her a little distance away.  Then she heads in our direction.  She is waiting in line for lemonade when i approach her.

“Can i take your picture?” i ask.  It is not really like me to do this, and i don’t know why it doesn’t feel awkward, but it doesn’t.  

And – as you can see – she turns to me and poses graciously.  

So ~ here’s my question ~ what is she doing?  What’s her story?  

The thought that flashes through my mind at the time is ~ and this just goes to show how much kink is in my life ~ is that her Dom had said she could go to the festival, but he was going to dictate what she wore.

But i don’t think that really covers it.  So i thought i’d share the mystery with youall.


28 May

i am watching Him.  He holds out his hand with the cuff in it, gestures for me to give him my arm.  The cuffs are fur-lined and comfortable.

When both my wrists are encased, He sits on the side of the bed, taps his knee.  i  put my foot on his knee.  It’s a little challenging with the heels on, but He steadies me.   i keep my eyes on Him.  i do not have permission to look at the array of toys on the bed.

He adjusts the ankle cuffs so they are snug, but not too tight.  i am held by the bonds, moving deeper into submission.

He slips the blindfold over my eyes.   A shiver runs through me.  

i want to slide to my knees and worship His cock, i want to wrap my arms around His legs, and bury my face in His lap.  i want to pleasure Him with my mouth so badly i can already taste Him.  

His hand in my hair, fisted at the nape of my neck.  i whimper, overwhelmed with desire.  

He hasn’t told me to move, so i don’t. 

His hand closes on my breast, feeling the heft of it before pinching the nipple between his thumb and forefinger.   The pressure increases ~ i gasp.  He switches to the other breast.

i want.  i want to put my arms around Him, i want to caress Him.  i want to unbutton His shirt  and feel our bodies pressed together tightly.  i want Him to fuck me, to fill me with His cock.  

i whimper.

He has not told me to move, so i stand motionless, filled with desire and longing.

“Whose slut are you?” He asks, His mouth close to my ear, His voice is low but demanding.

“Yours, Sir,” i say, adding, because i know He wants to hear it, “Your slut, i am your slut, Sir.”

“What do you want?” He asks.

i smile a little, i know this litany well.  “To please you, Sir, i want to please you.”

“How do you please me?” He asks.

“With my mouth, Sir,” i say, and i lick my lips, just a little, just the tiniest bit.  “With my pussy, Sir,” and my pussy clenches as i say the words, i feel my wetness.  “With my obedience, Sir,” i say.

He nuzzles my neck.  “Good girl,” He says.

Getting Better All the Time…

27 May

“Come here,” He says.

He is standing by the bed, cuffs in hand.  i walk toward Him slowly, not sure what He has in mind.  i would walk slowly anyhow in these heels, my hips sway with each step.

i am already naked.  He had taken my clothes at the door;  stripped me and inspected me then.  

This is our routine now.  i come home from work and check my clothes at the door.  Am inspected thoroughly.  

i never know what will happen next.

Tonight, He exchanges my sandals for the CFM shoes, the ones that are hard to walk in.  He has me practice, moving across the room and back towards Him.  

He has me stretch, raising my arms high above my head, then bending at the waist to touch my toes.  I lengthen the bend a little each time til i am able to place my palms on the ground.  My back loosens, and i feel the tension of the day draining away.

After a little bit, i don’t know how long, he places my hands behind my back, tells me not to move.  i wait for those words i love, “Come here.”

And now i see the cuffs in His hand.  Some toys on the bed.  A scarf.  A flogger, the small one, the one He uses on my pussy.  A wooden spoon.  There is more, but ~~

“Look at me,” He says.

Quickly, obediently, i do.  That’s the kind of thing that can bring unpleasant consequences if i ignore it.  So i turn my full attention to Him, trying not to wonder what else might be on the bed, what else might lie in store for me.

He holds up the cuff, and in that moment, i can already feel it on me.  Feel it on my wrist, first one wrist, then the other.  Just looking at them, not even touching them, not even feeling them secure around my wrists and ankles, and i am sliding down into that space.

Down into that space where what i want fades away.

Where obeying Him, pleasing Him, becomes my purpose and my joy.

i smile.


Nine hours sleep last night!!  Woohoo!

Five days off work, starting today.

Fourteen more days til my vacation.  Only seven working days.

Thirty-three days til Sfp comes to visit.  {Happy Dance in my head}

AND ~~

In the fall ~~

~~~~~~~~~ another blogger is coming to visit.    No kidding.

Guess who.

Go ahead ~ guess.


Yep.  Really.  Is that too amazingly cool, or what?

Ok, so the words of the song don’t really fit, except for the chorus.  But that’s good enough…

Soooooo Sleepy

26 May

i know, this is not even a kinky blog anymore.  Sorry.  


Yesterday, tornado warnings were so threatening that i was even a little worried ~ and i did have a jail run ~ but i made it through that.  i stopped at the grocery on my way home, and the cashier commented to the man in front of me, “Oh, you’re getting one of these too?  Seems like everybody’s buying them today.”

“What are they?” i asked.  It was a fairly small box – i couldn’t imagine what it could be, but you know, if everyone’s getting them, i wanted to make sure i didn’t need one.

“It’s a weather radio,” he said, in tones that suggested anyone would have known that.  “People been buying ’em all day.”

Apparently, in case of a natural disaster, they allow you to get information if other sources of communication are down.   According to my daughter, they also wake you up if there’s bad weather.  

i didn’t get one.  i got milk, and headed home ~~

~~ where my daughter and her boyfriend were waiting for me.  She had called earlier to see if it was ok if they spent the night in my basement, and of course i’d said yes.  She’s a little phobic about storms anyhow, so this has been a tough spring for her.

And besides, it sounded like they were really serious about the tornado risk this time.

So she fixed dinner, which was delightful, and i stayed up way too late, once again,  just talking and hanging out.  It was well worth the loss of sleep.

 i asked her, half teasing, if i had to sleep in the basement too.  They had the bedroom, but the couch was available.  She just looked at me for a minute, then shrugged.  “You know, i can’t make you, it’s your call.  But if the sirens go off, you know i’ll have to come wake you up.  And you know how hard you can be to wake up.” 

Gosh, she’s such a grown-up.  i don’t know how i got so lucky.

So of course, i said, “Well, ok, fine, cause after all, how stupid would i feel if a tornado hits and i get killed cause i didn’t want to sleep on the couch downstairs?”  Yeah, pretty stupid. 


If I can just stay awake through today, it will be all good, and i move into a five-day weekend, with plenty of time to sleep.

O, and we didn’t get hit by a tornado, for which i’m grateful.  A couple of small towns not too far away did though, and i’m keeping them, and the people of Joplin, in my thoughts and prayers.  

A Good Night’s Sleep

25 May

That’s really all i need right now, a good night’s sleep.  Twelve hours would be nice.

But there’s a whole day ahead of me yet.  

i was at a meeting last night and met someone ~ no, not a Dom someone ~ a woman.  She was talking about a venture she’s in charge of, and mentioned a plan to offer therapy for “indigent people.”  i don’t much like that phrase, but i liked her ideas.

She was presenting on something else, she just mentioned the counseling thing briefly, almost parenthetically.  Maybe that’s why it didn’t click with me til i was driving home.

You know, i’m looking for a way out of my current job.  Not looking real hard, not looking desperately, but thinking i’d like to move away from working for a large organization.  To not put my energy into preaching the party line about what services we provide and how we provide them.  

Ok, i don’t try real hard to  do that, but i’m kinda s’posed to.   And i do put energy into trying to bridge the chasm between what i think would be ideal and what the agency can support.  

Anyhow, i was driving home and wishing the meeting hadn’t lasted so long, idly thinking about the speaker’s mention of this counseling venture.  i was feeling a little ~ wistful, maybe.  Thinking, gee, that’s really not too far off from my own fantasy idea.  Thinking how cool it could be…

And it hit me ~~~~

~~~~ i need to call her.

i have no idea what stage of planning they’re in, but it’s early.  And really, i need to connect with her.  Now. 

So i’ll call her.  


And hope that i don’t get any jail runs tonight, so i can go to sleep at my real bedtime.

From FB

24 May

Had to post this ~ it just makes me smile.

Almost 11 o’clock and I’m still up – this is what HS calls “silly o’clock,” ~ for me anyhow.  i’m gonna be sorry tomorrow.  

Nite, y’all…  {smiling} 


24 May

We’re entering the season of fun here in Where-i-Live.  This weekend there are a couple of music festivals i go to, one of them with my sister and a friend.  The other one i often have to scramble to find someone willing to go hang out with me, but this year my daughter volunteered, and an old friend and her daughter are also coming down for it.  

It’s rained every morning and every night for days now, and sometimes in the middle of the day too.  Big thunder storms. Hail.  Power outages.  We’ve had it all.  Fortunately, no tornadoes, and my sympathy is with the people in Joplin, Missouri.  

i’m doing my on-call jail thing this week, so last night, i was driving through the buckets of rain falling out of the sky, and thinking that a 20 degree temperature drop and high winds were good conditions for a tornado.   Having been around for the big one that hit here in the 70’s,  i sometimes console myself with the idea that as long as it’s raining, i don’t have to worry about a tornado hitting.  At least not at that moment.

Which makes me sound a lot more anxiety-ridden than i am.  Actually, it’s more like “the silver lining to being in a torrential downpour is that at least a tornado’s not gonna hit any second.”

But ~ getting back to vanilla thrills ~ i’m ready to enjoy the summer, with or without a Dom.  It’s so much easier to feel ok this time of year, with lots to look forward to.  

This is cool – my 11 year old granddaughter friended me on facebook.  i want to spend more time with her this year.

i can enjoy time with friends, music, events, walks, the park, and the zoo.  

Munches and play parties, classes with Ms. Constance, and maybe i will get Bob to test out his fucks-all on me.  Just to see if i can still have a non-self-induced orgasm.  {laughing}  That adds a touch of kink.

And maybe {sigh} maybe there’s a Dom out there with my name on Him.  Or, um, with His name on me.  Something like that…