A Moment

Last night, at the munch, there is a moment when i look around the room and realize i am perfectly happy.

‘Nilla is on one side of me, Sir X on the other.  ‘Nilla is deep in conversation with Ms. Constance on the other side of her, and her laughter rings out above the horrendous noise level in the room.  

Sir X is laughing too, at something Drew is saying on the other side of Him.  He ~ Sir X, not Drew ~ has His hand on my thigh, and my hand is on His knee.

Across from me are F and T, two of my favorite people, who have just gotten through explaining how the decision making process works when both people in the household are switches.   

And when i put my hand to my throat, i can feel the collar Sir X has brought with Him for me to wear tonight.   Just for tonight ~ it will leave with Him when we get back home.  

Here is what it looks like:

The last time i wore that collar, He’d put a padlock on the rings.  Tonight, he knots the cord to hold it in place, as secure a fastening in its way as the padlock.

And at that moment, at the munch, when i look around the room, i am perfectly happy.

Did i Tell You

So much is happening so fast… i really need to take a day off work and just write about all the experiences i had at C.O.P.E. and all the things that are going on here.

i need to go back to last Thursday night with Sir X, before i went to C.O.P.E.  i told you about the spanking ~ that really, was more like what i think of as an impact scene, since i was bound with my hands over my head.

But after that, we spent some time getting to know each other in some other ways ~like He said, it was a sampler of things we could do.  Some of them involved orgasms for me, which is always good.  {smiling}

Then, when i was feeling all warm and cozy, He told me that He wanted to me to wear a collar of consideration.  He explained what it meant to Him, and what He hoped it would mean to me.

He’d made the collar.  It won’t quite pass in the vanilla world, but it’s close.  It looks like this:

Later, He shared this passage He’d read:

“The Collar of Consideration:
This Collar is traditionally given at the beginning of a relationship.   The Dominant, by offering this collar to the submissive, is expressing an interest in pursuing a relationship with that submissive beyond the range of a casual acquaintance or even the relationship between a Top and bottom.   This collar is offered seriously and with intent.   The submissive, in accepting this collar from the Dominant, is equally serious in her understanding that their relationship has moved into a different stage.   The existence of the Collar of Consideration indicates to other Dominants and submissives that the Dominant and submissive are forming a potentially serious relationship.   It’s existence acts to openly present to other Dominants that this submissive is ‘off-limits’ for the duration of the ‘consideration’ period and that honorable Dominants should not pursue this submissive in any manner.”

So i wore my collar of consideration at C.O.P.E.   i don’t think it kept any Doms away ~ i don’t think there were any beating down my door anyhow.  

And that’s ok.i don’t do well ~ at least not now ~ with random play.  i kind of doubt if i ever will ~ not that i’m criticizing it.  i just don’t know how it would work for me.  

The collar, however, helped me remember that Sir X was here and interested.  Actually, it was a little bit like having Him with me.

He also stayed in touch with texts and email, although not excessively, so that was good.

i think part of what made the experience fun was not looking and hoping to meet “my Dom.” Not wondering if “He” was there.

Instead, i could just enjoy myself.  i know where my Dom is…