Luxury Lazing

This morning, my alarm went off, and i hit “snooze,” and Sir curls around me from the back, the way He does, and i scoot my butt a little closer to Him, and sort of snooze.  When the alarm goes off again, i start to get up, and then i think,

“Why get up right now?  It’s not like i’m on a tight time schedule today.  There are gonna be plenty of days again when i am, when i’ll need to jump out of bed.  But not today.”

So i snuggle and snooze for an hour or so, never quite sleeping, never quite awake.  Feel His body pressed against me, His hand around my wrist.

Aaaaaaaah.

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” 
― Maya Angelou, All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes

At Night

At night, when we go to bed,

my Sir and i,

i lie on my right side 

and He curls up behind me.  

i feel His body press against me ~

His chest to my back,

His thighs against the backs of mine.

His cock just resting against my ass,

or sometimes pressing its way

between my thighs.

My hands are  in front of me,

almost clasped together,

and He lays an arm over me,

grasps both my wrists in one hand,

effectively cuffing them together.

i am held ~

contained, restrained, owned ~

wrapped in His love all night long.

Not Just Another Sunday Night

{Before I even start, I need to correct and clarify a couple of things.  It was pointed out to me that the rope experience I had in “Sparks” was actually Japanese rope bondage, so I do have a little bit of experience with that.

Also, JM, the analyst, read Cock Worship, and wanted to be sure I knew that he doesn’t believe that women want a real penis, that it’s symbolic of men’s power.  I did know that, for real, but it may not have sounded like it in my post.  He also challenged my statement that there’s nothing  men can do that I can’t do.  He’s right.  There are some things.  Maybe that’s a post for another day.}

I wake up early, body tingling.  Gentle kisses, sweet caresses have left me longing for more.  Hints of things to come linger on my skin. 

His hand in my hair, you know, right there, at the base of my neck.   His arms around me, strong and warm.

His words seduce.  He probes my thoughts  and I open my mind to him.  He draws me closer  til I’m blushing under his scrutiny.  Fully clothed, in a busy restaurant,  I feel naked.  

We stop for coffee, grab a table before ordering at the counter.   Sitting side by side, I’m contemplating what to drink, when he says, quite casually:

“Would you get me a cup of coffee?   I think I want a mocha.”  And before I can respond, before the request has quite registered, he hands me some money.  

Still without quite thinking, I take the money, “Of course,” I say.  Intensely aware of my body I stand and walk to the line in front of the counter.   I feel my skirt brush against my legs, my calves flexing, hips sway.  The chain on my ankle braclet moves with each step, my breathing grows shallow. 

Feeling heat between my legs, knowing I’m wet, I shift from I to i. 

i place the order, and sit back down, eager for them to call my name so i can serve him the coffee.  But the girl behind the counter brings it out, gives him the wrong cup, and the moment is gone.

i wake up early, body tingling.  Looking forward to things to come.

 

Endings

It’s not that the playtime wasn’t great – you know that it was. You read about it, you heard it all.  Even last night, even after we’d agreed that there wouldn’t be more playtime, when we played one last time – o, my.  That wasn’t a problem.

After days of teasing me about not spanking me again, He turned me over his knee and spanked me til my ass was warm and red.  And that made Him hard, as it always does, so i knelt at His feet one more time.  i worshipped His cock the way that pleases Him most, the way He taught me months ago.

Hover, breathe through my mouth, close, lick, go down slowly, one half inch at a time, bury it, then back up, slowly and methodically, and remove.

 That’s from an email i wrote Him, about 3 months ago, when we had first started playing.  i can’t believe it’s only been 3 months…  i’ll have enough to write about for a long time just remembering the things i experienced with Him.

 

But i want to be with someone who’d like to spend time with me outside of playtime.  Maybe that’s uneasonable.  i might be asking too much – seriously.  But i can’t seem to be submissive strictly in play, there’s an element of attachment that creeps in.  And one of the first things He told me was not to get too attached.

 

But i don’t quite understand how i could open myself, literally, opening my legs at His command, and my mouth, without opening my heart and my spirit as well.  And then, damnit, i want more.  i want to go out for dinner.  i want to go hear some music.  i just want more intimacy than  an evening of playtime here and there.

 

Sigh. 

 

 i sucked His cock one last time, savoring the taste, the feel of it in my mouth.   Licking it all over, until it was slick and slippery, sliding my mouth up and down rhythmically.   Loving the little “pop” it makes as my mouth moves over the head.  Then licking again, moving my tongue all over His cock – and swiftly, smoothly burying it deep in my throat til i gag a little.    Moving again, bobbing my head…

 

He’s a gentleman, a caring person, a wonderful man, and He’s been so good to me.  i’ve felt his concern envelop me, and felt safe and cared for.   i’ll never settle for less.

 

i feel the vein in His cock throbbing under my tongue, “Do you want it?” He says, “Do you want my cum?” and all i can do is nod, yes, yes, i want it.  “Then suck it,” He says, “Suck it out,” and i do, sucking as the cum shoots into my mouth, then swallow and suck a little more.

 

“Don’t say good-bye,” He says, “we’ll still be friends, we’ll still talk and e-mail.  i’ll try out all my bad jokes on you.”

 

“i’ll groan!” i say.  “i have to groan at Your jokes.”  There are tears in my eyes, but i smile and blink them back. 

 

A chain clip he left behind - it had been under a chair and my housekeeper found it... :0

Held

Chained, restrained, held. 

i don’t know why being chained felt so good.   i felt like i was being held in some powerful way – and safe.  i liked it so much. The collar, which was really a dog’s collar with a velcro fastening, felt – good.   i don’t know how else to say it, it all felt good.

 i might think that was strange if i hadn’t been reading so many blogs by other people, which make it clear that nothing i’m experiencing is all that different or unique.   Which is kind of humbling all by itself, humbling and reassuring at the same time.

i felt held yesterday too, when i was out of sorts and blue, a little overwhelmed with stress.  i decided to take a day off and sleep and read and not go anywhere – in fact, i didn’t even get dressed, just hung out in my sleep t-shirt and comfy stretch pants.  Sir had to work yesterday, but He spent a lot of time with me, IM’ing me, talking on the phone, sending me some e-mail with jokes or a link to an article He thought i might be interested in.  

At some point, when we were talking on the phone, and i was sitting in the chair He usually sits in when i get to kneel in front of Him and suck His cock, and i was sort of curled into the chair, and He was talking about a conversation he had with someone  at the hobby shop, at that moment, i realized that i felt “held.”   Wrapped in Him.    And it felt so good, i wanted to tell Him, but i didn’t think i could find the right words then.  So i just enjoyed the feeling, and stored it away for later.

As i know Him better, i more deeply appreciate the man He is.  He feels so solid and trustworthy, i want to lean on Him a little.  i won’t though, not in a vanilla way, not when He’s told me clearly that He doesn’t intend to get emotionally invovled with me.   And i don’t believe in leaning anyhow.

But i will enjoy and appreciate His friendship.

And i’ll enjoy being chained, bound and held, when He chooses to do that.  It makes me smile to think about it.  Knowing that all i have to do is whatever He tells me to do.   And that feeling – the way He makes me feel – makes me want to please Him so much that i’m overwhelmed with it.

Sigh.

Yesterday i was commenting on how long it’s been since i’ve actually been with Him – over a week!  He, however, apparently doesn’t think that’s very long, and he mentioned the word “needy.”  Yes, describing me!  Now, i will occasionally admit that i might be high maintanence.  Possibly demanding.  But needy?

Sigh.

Maybe needy. 

But you would think He’d be glad that i’m here eagerly waiting for the pleasure of pleasing Him, wouldn’t you?  Even if, ok, sure, it pleases me too.  The thought of kneeling at His feet stirs such longing in me… i think it surprises Him that i feel that way, but i do.  i can feel myself getting wet just thinking about it, it makes me squirm.

And i guess it makes sense that i love the feeling of being collared, of being chained.  Yes, it takes me down so many notches, and i love being taken down.  i love how it feels when all that exists is my body and Him, the sensations almost without thought.  When all my focus is where He wants it to be.  When doing what He wants is all that matters…