Follow Up on Getting Enough

People are still voting in the poll i set up on Wednesday, and i may revisit that page periodically to see if the numbers have changed.  In fact, i think i’ll post a link to that page from time to time and invite people to go vote.

But for now, here are the results:  41 people answered the question:

Submissives: Are you getting enough?

There is too much sex/kink/control in my life 0% (0 votes)

There is too little sex/kink/control in my life. 78.05% (32 votes)

There is a just-right amount of sex/kink/control in my life. 12.2% (5 votes)

Other: 10% (4 votes)

9 people answered the question

Dominants: Are you satisfied with the level of kink/sex/control in your household?

I would like more. 77.78% (7 votes)

I would like less. 0% (0 votes)

I’m in control here, it is just right. 22.22% (2 votes)

It’s interesting that only 9 Dominants responded, and 41 submissives.  i got 412 total hits that day so theoretically about 12% of the people who visited the blog actually participated in the survey.  Of course, maybe those numbers reflect the actual ratio of submissives to dominants who read here.  

i could believe that 82% of my readers are submissive ~ although that’s probably not accurate either.  Some people who read here may identify as switches, and some people may not be kinky at all, and some of those hits were probably mistakes.  

While most of the search terms people use to get here seem clearly linked to me, some are ~ not so much.  Someone was looking for “collar me puppy girl,” who is certainly not me.  Or “shibari master,” which i suppose could be Sir D, but would be some very old posts.  

“Sleep kinky sex.”  Really?  Like this puts you to sleep, or i’m kinky when i’m asleep, or what?  “Roller coaster” or “Roller for a roller coaster”  also got people here, which may have been a real shock to them.

So did “striving for peace bdsm blog” and ‘bill nilla” – so my apologies to sfp and ‘nilla!!  “Shave my head bald sir” was certainly not looking for me ~ although i do remember that discussion in the blogosphere a while back.  It’s actually not a topic i care to revisit.

“Epilady as torture submissive” however, i totally claim as mine.  i do use one, and it is torture!  And i’ve written about it here.  

But anyhow.  i digress.  Clearly, submissives identify ourselves as “not getting enough.”  NONE of the submissives who took the poll felt like they were getting too much.  Isn’t that interesting?  78% of us ~ not enough.  i have no idea what it means.

It could be a matter of time.  Distance.  Illness.  Or differing amounts of desire between partners.

None of the Dominants were getting too much either, and the percentage who were getting too little was just about the same as the submissive percentage.  

We also don’t know if the people who responded were not getting enough sex, kink, OR control, or not enough of all three of those, or some combination.   That would require a much longer study, and then we’d still want to know more about it, right?

i wonder sometimes ~ ok, bear with me.  This is going to be a very unscientific venture down what should be a better researched path.  But here we go.

i remember reading a long time ago about a study done with mice or rats in which they pressed a lever  or bar and the pleasure center of their little brains was stimulated, so they got a nice little rush of pleasure.  Well, as you can imagine, they LOVED it.  They would push the lever til they were exhausted.

They would push the pleasure bar rather than the one that would give them food.  Literally, they’d go hungry in their ongoing quest for more pleasure.  They would walk across an electric field to get to the pleasure lever.   They were all about the pleasure.

i think the study was looking at how addiction and some kinds of  street drugs work on people.  But i thought about it back in the day when i was dating Mike Moore.

Mike Moore, who i mentioned recently, was my gateway to submission, and the King of Giving Women Orgasms.  

Let me be clear, Sir gives me plenty of orgasms too, that is not lacking in my life.  But for Mike Moore, it was a project.  i know i’ve said this before, but i want to be clear now – about 3 times a day, he would induce me to have a series of orgasms, maybe somewhere between 5 and 20.  Three times a day.

i was walking around in a glow of endorphins.  Really.  i lost weight effortlessly.  i floated through stressful days at work.  i glowed.  

It was phenomenal.

i wanted the contact with Mike pretty constantly.  i couldn’t wait to see him again.  i always wanted more.

Now some of that was not strictly sexual, there was lots of stuff going on there.  But even at the time, i remembered the mouse study and wondered how far i would go to push the lever for more orgasms.

The final interesting thing about the mouse study is that the behavior of pushing the pleasure bar was easily extinguished when the rewards stopped.  So if the mouse pushed the bar and nothing happened, they wouldn’t keep trying very long.   They’d lose interest.

And it seems to work that way for me too.  When i’m getting lots ~ control, kink, or sex ~ i want more.  When i’m not “getting any” i can go into some kind of arousal hibernation.   i may not initiate,  i may lose interest.

i don’t know what all this means but it’s fun to think about, isn’t?  What do youall think?

A Good Kind of Late

So if it’s 9:00 in the morning, which it is, here in my kitchen, and i’m just now posting, which i am, than you can assume one of two things.  Either:

1.  i’m deathly ill and unable to stagger out of bed to get to the computer to type a line or two that says “i’m too sick to post.”

OR

2.  My Sir has kept me up half the night, using and abusing me in ways that i usually only dream of.  An amazingly orgasmic evening that more than made up for the orgasm i didn’t get to have the other day.  An experience that left me so satisfied, limp with pleasure, that i didn’t even care as the clock ticked past those hours of the morning when i’m usually up and about.

i will leave it to you to decide which it might be.

Amazing Orgasm

Yesterday’s post generated wonderful comments ~ if you haven’t read them, it’s worth going back for.  i started a couple of follow-up posts this morning, but they weren’t flowing, and i’m running out of time.

So i thought i’d share this video i stumbled over on Facebook.   i confess i have a little trouble wrapping my mind around the idea, but here it is:

i also confess i didn’t watch all of it, just enough to get the general idea.  If you watch it all and i really missed something, let me know, ok?

But i wonder ~ where was this concept back when i was pregnant?   Orgasms during labor would have been fine with me.

 i shared it with my daughter, hoping she could make it work, but she’s thinking it can’t happen in a hospital birth.  i suspect she’s right.

i am fascinated by it.  And i wonder ~ does this connect to kink?  Is this really about experiencing pain as pleasure?  We all know that can happen, right?

So i guess this is possible.  And not as weird as it might seem.  Well, not any weirder than kink is.  Or than we are.  Which is not at all, right?

Um, ok then, maybe a little bit weird.  But whatever…  i still think it’s a fabulous, fascinating idea.

AND Sir and i have a date tonight.  We’re going to see a burlesque show ~ after some private play time which He’s promised will leave me with my ass tingling.

Mmmmmm…. i can’t wait.  And THAT’S not weird either, is it?

Discipline (Part XIII)

Kneeling in front of Him, i caress Him with my lips, lick the shaft of His cock, encircle the head with my mouth.  His cock was half hard, but quickly becomes fully hardened.  Slowly, lovingly, i take Him into my mouth, relaxing my throat to take Him deeper.

He moans, and grasps my hair, pushing Himself yet further into me.  It’s not the caress of my lips He wants tonight, He presses His full length into me, hitting the back of my throat, making me gag.

He pulls back then, but only for a moment, sliding back into my mouth, fucking me slowly in long strokes.  He ignores the tears running down my cheeks, and i do too, working on staying relaxed so i can take Him deeper.

i had wanted to make Him cum, but He pulls out.  “Second position,” He says, and it take me a second, i’m distracted by the taste of His cock, lingering in my mouth, the smell of Him in my nostrils, i want more, but~

~i do remember and turn, on my knees, head to the floor, so my ass is raised.  Fingers thrust into me, feel the wetness between my legs, my juices running down my things.  

His cock, pushing at the entrance, the tip sliding into my pussy, making me gasp.  i try to push back, but He pulls away, leaving me empty for a moment, then thrusting just the tip of His cock back into me.

i whimper ~ the sensation fills me as He moves a little deeper, before pulling almost all the way out again.  i thrust my hips back, trying to capture Him, but,

“Hold still, slut,” He says.

i don’t want to.  i want to feel His cock pounding into me.  But i have learned some lessons.  i hold still.

i hold still and let Him torture me with the rhythm of slow thrusts, each one a little deeper, and then withdrawal, back, back, almost sliding out ~ and in again.  Slowly, certainly.

And then, just when i think i can’t stand it any more, He pulls out completely.

“Roll over,” He says.

i roll, gladly, onto my back.  He pushes my legs back toward my chest, leaving my pussy gaping, exposed, waiting.

The length of His body against me, His cock thrusts deep inside me, filling me completly.

I cry out.  

The waves of sensation are almost overwhelming.  He is braced against my legs, pounding His cock deep and hard, and i’m making noises, grunts and moans, and

He drives me up and up til i crest again,

and the world stops ~~ just me and Him, His cock inside me, my pussy clenching, i tremble ~

over the top and down again.

My pussy clenches, tightly holding and releasing, holding and releasing His cock and then He is cumming too ~ over the top, He cries out, pounding deep inside me…and then stopping ~ that frozen moment of release, hot cum filling me…  

And He half collapses, resting on me for a long minute

while i stoke His ass, caress Him, squeeze Him with my pussy, milking the last bits of cum out of Him.

His body is heavy, and i welcome it, knowing that He’s relaxed because i’ve pleased Him.

Then He rolls off me, pulls me close so we’re spooned together.  i cuddle into Him, at home.

It occurs to me that this is the second night He’s fucked me on the floor and cuddled me without bed or pillow.  My eyes close, i sigh contentedly and would have drifted off to sleep, but ~

“Come on, wake up, I’m taking you to bed,” He says, pulling me back to the moment.

He helps me get up and leads me by the hand back to the bedroom, where He lets me brush my teeth and use the bathroom before

tucking me into bed.  Pulling the sheet up around me.  He sits on the side of the bed, stroking my cheek.  

“Sleep tight, baby,” He says.  “Tomorrow we’ll design the rest of your schedule.  Go ahead and close your eyes, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do.”

So i do, i close my eyes, and i’m drifting.  i can hear Him, as if from a distance.

“First, a spanking,” He says.  “To start your day off right.  Then some coffee.”

“No coffee first?” i murmur, thinking that will be hard, and He laughs, “No, spanking first, then coffee.”

“mmmmm,” i say, drifting again.

“Some time for meditation.  

“Then breakfast, just a little fruit, i think.  Then some sexual exercise, i haven’t decided what yet.  Certainly, we will stretch your asshole more, preparing you for tomorrow night.”

That gets my attention, but in the moment doesn’t alarm me.  i want that, want to be prepared for Him, want Him to use me.  i want all the things He’s offering me.

“Then some real exercise, just like today, with Diana and Selena.  A shower and clean up.”  His voice is rhythmic, as if He’s telling a story, soothing me.

” Then, and here’s where tomorrow will be a little bit different, then we’ll work on some of your goals.   An hour or so before lunch, and most of the afternoon will be focused on the things you’ve been putting off doing.  The things you need to do for yourself.”

“Mmmm,” sleepy, i’m so sleepy, it sounds like a good plan.

“Then you’ll be prepared for the evening, for more training.  Sound good?”

“Mmmmhmmm,” i say, still drifting.

“Tomorrow night, i’ll fuck your ass.  And we’ll probably have company again.  We’ll have to talk tomorrow about how much involvement you’re willing to have with other people.”

Discipline (Part VI)

“Stop,” He says.  “Here, give me that.”  He holds out His hand.  i give him the vibrator, slowly pull the dildo out of me.  It’s sticky and glistening, having been marinating in my juices for a while now.

Almost immediately, the numbness begins to leave me, except for my poor throbbing nipples, which are suddenly 10 times worse.  i cringe when He reaches for them, and he stops just long enough to say, “Don’t draw back from me,” before He releases them.

It does hurt, hurts dreadfully as the blood rushes back into them.  i watch them turn from white to red.  i want to touch them, rub them, but i don’t.  

And then there’s the rush of shame, because He wanted me to cum, and i didn’t.  

“Come here,” He says, and pulls me to Him.  Still on my knees, between His legs, He lets me snuggle my upper body into His lap.  Head on his thigh, arms up around his waist.

He strokes my hair, touches my back.  “Hey ~ hey,” He says, as a sob shakes me.  “Are you crying?  What is this ~ what are the tears about?”  

“i ~ i let you down,” i manage to gasp.  

i’m shocked when He laughs.  i lift my head to look at Him.

“Because you didn’t cum?” He says.  “All this is because i told you to cum and you didn’t?”

i nod.

He shakes His head.  Pulls me closer to Him, sliding a hand down the front of my body, cupping my throbbing hot pussy.  

A finger slides inside me.  Another, stretching me.

Quickly, without another word, His fingers probe deeper, seeking ~ finding ~ that spot.  The heel of His hand presses against my clit.

 Quickly, as His fingers move rhythmically inside me, the feeling starts to build.  i’m pumping back now, fucking His fingers, moaning as i feel it building, taking me higher ~ and higher~

omigod, it feels so fucking good, i can’t take it deep enough, o, ~ o ~ yes ~

~~ there ~ right there ~

O

         MY

                    GOD….

as He takes me over the top, and a shiver runs through me, i cry out and He says

“Yes, slut, yes, cum for me now,”

and trembling, shaking, and moaning, i cum, tumbling back down….  rubbing against Him, thrusting my hips forward, impaling myself deeper.  Laughing with pleasure.

 i think it’s over, just when i think He’s going to pull His fingers back, and i’m wishing He wouldn’t ~ just then, He starts again.  

Watching my face.  Watching as He takes me up, up again, i’m surprised, i didn’t know He could do this, take me here again, and it’s actually easier this time ~

~ rubbing and pressing against Him, against His hand, Omigod ~

   ~~ Omigod ~~

Up again ~ up, up ~~~~~

                ~~~~~~~ and over, omigod, yes, over and omigod back down again.  And we are both laughing now, laughing with pleasure.

“Don’t ever worry about not cumming,” He says.  “Making you cum is not going to be a problem,” and even as He says it, He’s starting again, His fingers moving again, and ~

“Do you want another?” He says.

“Omigod, yes,” i gasp, rubbing against Him like a cat in heat.   i’m so wet i’m squishy, i’d be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so incredibly good.

“Hold still,” He says.  “No pushing.”

“O ~ O God,” i say.  “Ok, ok, holding still ~~”

and again His fingers work their magic, pushing me to a peak of pleasure that radiates through my body, waves of sensation through my arms, my legs, making me moan ~ O, o, o~~~~~~~

YES!

and i cum again, omigod, Yes ~

and this time it drains me, literally, puddles of liquid come gushing out of me, and He laughs, and i would be embarrassed, but i’m too drained to care

and i collapse in a heap at His feet, draped over His legs, head on His lap.

He strokes my hair.

“Better?” He says.

“Omigod.  Omigod.  i can’t talk.  Sorry.  Can’t move.  No muscles left.  No bones either.  Sheesh.  Feel like a rag doll.”

“You squirted,” He says.  “Good girl.”

“Omigod.  i’ll be your good girl every day of the week,” i say, and He bursts out laughing.

“I guess you would!” He says.  Then, “Come on, you need to find your muscles and bones, go wash up a little.  It’s time for dinner.”

And quite suddenly, i remember that we’re not alone.  

The other man, the other girl are still there, quite close by.  i can’t believe i forgot they were there.  i think i should be embarrassed, but don’t have the energy to care.

“Come on,” He prods me, “Up, go – off to the bathroom please, get ready for dinner.”

i stand, shaky on my feet, and “Diana, Selena,” He says, “Would one of you go with her, please?  We have a lot to do yet tonight.”

Discipline (Part V)

i am stunned.  

The clamps on my nipples hurt like hell, and He’s asking me if i want to cum?  Well, of course i want to.

Well, wait, there’s that Other Man and the other girl there, watching, is that a problem, do i care if i cum in front of them?

No, that’s the least of my concerns.

What if i can’t cum?  What if we try and i just can’t – what will happen then?

He’s watching, i think that my thoughts are clear on my face.  “Well, slut,” He says.  “Yes or no?”

“What if i can’t?  i don’t know if i can.”

“Of course you can,” He says.

i’m not completely convinced, but i want to be.  “Yes, Sir,” i say, “Then yes, please, i want to cum.”

He starts with a vibrator, a dildo.  i am already wet, and it slides inside me pretty easily, filling me, stretching me.

i moan.

He turns it on, He’s leaning forward, holding it inside me, and the pleasure radiates through my body.  i’m surprised to notice that i’m less aware of the clamps, that they hurt less than i expected now.

He takes my right hand and moves it to the end of the dildo vibrating inside me.  “Here,” He says.  “You do it.”

i put my hand on it, begin to move it inside me.  It feels incredibly good, and i’m thoroughly enjoying it ~

~ for a few minutes.  Then i realize, i’m no closer to cumming than i was when i started.  

Anxiety bubbles up inside me.

i knew it, i knew i wouldn’t be able to cum.

i’m wet, i’m plenty wet, juices are running down the inside of my thighs, i’m so wet.

And it feels good, i can’t complain.  i’m aware of the clamps, but they’re not as bad as i thought they’d be, they’re still not.

And i’m nowhere close to cumming.

This never happens to other people, i think.  Sin’s Master makes her do this all the time, and she always cums.

This thought is not consoling.

i move my hand so my thumb is rubbing my clit.  That feels good too, and i think, ahhh, here we go…

…but it fades back away.

Damn it.

What’s wrong with me?

He is watching me.  i’m not going to be able to do this.  

He’s going to be disappointed.

My nipples are numb.  My pussy is too, the juices still flowing, but the sensation is just not there.  i could do this the rest of my life, i think, kneeling here the rest of my life with this vibrating dildo inside me, and still not cum.

How come this doesn’t happen to other people?

And how long will i have to try?

“Sir,” i say, “i ~ i don’t think i can ~ don’t think i can cum.”

“No?” His eyebrows go up.  “Well.  Maybe ~ try this?”  And He hands me a tiny vibrator, “Put it right on your clit,” He says, leaning forward and pressing it into my hand.

“Yes, Sir,” i say, but i’m feeling skeptical, i don’t think it’s going to help.  i think i’m just numb down there, and it makes me want to cry.

i find my clit, place the vibrator on it.  

Useless.

i know it’s useless, and it is.  i think it’s probably my fault because i knew it wasn’t going to work.  Really, i made it not work, i guess.

i’m still moving my hips, trying to find the right spots… and it feels like i’ve been doing this forever.

 

He’s watching me, raises an eyebrow.

i shake my head, just the tiniest bit, no.  No, i’m not any closer.

He leans forward.

Here She Is (Part XIV)

So here i am, ass up in the air.  i know He’s behind me, can see every single part of me.  i suddenly remember the lipstick on my pussy lips and feel myself blushing.

i don’t know why that embarrasses me even more than being exposed naked like i am.  There’s something so brazenly slutty about it, like i’m screaming, “Hey, look at me, look here!”

But i think all this in a flash, because then His hands are on me, and i’m lost in the rush of sensation.  Gasping as they stroke, soothing and inflaming at the same time.

His fingers penetrate me, my pussy first, til i am moaning and squirming ~~

and then withdrawn.

His voice,”Hold the position.  I want you to hold still.  No fucking yourself on my fingers, I’ll decide how much you get and when.  Is that clear?”

i say, “yes,” but i guess He can’t hear me, my face is still to the ground.

“Louder,” He says.

And i do, i raise my voice and, “Yes, Sir,” i say, loudly enough this time.  “i won’t move again.”

He resumes touching me, and i’m just grateful that he’s letting me moan.  He penetrates me in both places at once, gently opening the rear entrance with one finger, wet from my own pussy juices.    

The strain of holding still is hard, and then i am so close to cumming that i have to ask~~

“Sir, please may i cum?”

And much to my relief He says, “Yes, cum for me now, slut,”

and just as He says it, i do, i cum in a huge, shuddering orgasm… and as the waves of pleasure recede, there are tears running down my face.  i don’t know why.

But He pulls me up, off my knees on the ground, and leads me to a big chair in the corner.  Pulls me into His lap.

i curl up there, clinging to him, and i’m not crying now, but i can’t seem to get close enough to Him.  He lets me unbutton His shirt and press my body against His skin, stroke His chest, slightly fuzzy with a light covering of hair.  i stroke Him with my hands for a long time, and then my mouth, caressing every inch of exposed skin.

i want to taste His cock.  Want it with a passion.  i let my hands travel down to His belt, linger questioningly near the buckle… but He shakes His head, no.

“Not yet, my little slut,” He says.  “When it’s time, I’ll let you know.  Spankings first.”

With that, He turns me so i am lying over His knees.  The chair is big enough that i’m almost laid across it, as if it were n a couch.  He begins to spank me.

At first, it feels good.  Incredibly good.  i have not been spanked like this before, it is just lovely.

As He continues, it’s less lovely and more painful, i begin to whimper.  And squirm.  i don’t exactly want Him to stop, and i desperately want Him to stop.

“Hold still,” He says.  “If you can’t hold still, i’ll restrain you.”

He resumes spanking, but i can’t do it, i can’t hold still, my legs are squirming, and finally i put a hand behind me as if to cover my poor, red hot ass.

He laughs then.  “You are so undisciplined.  We have so much work to do.”

i want to protest that, but realize that He’s right.  i’m not doing so well at taking this the way He wants me too.

“i’m sorry,” i mumble, feeling my heart sink.  i’ve let Him down.

i feel sick.  i want to curl up in a ball and disappear.

But i am still stretched out over His lap, and He says kindly, “you just haven’t been trained.” His hand caresses my pussy, penetrates me, makes me moan, with pleasure now.

“Do you want to cum again?” He asks.

“Yes!  O, yes, Sir!” i say, feeling better already, and He laughs.

“Ten licks with the wooden spoon,” He says.  “If you can take that, i’ll let you cum.”

i’ve never felt the wooden spoon, or any spoon for that matter, so i’m a little nervous, but i’m sure i can take ten licks in exchange for an orgasm.

“Yes, Sir,” i say.  i did not realize He already had the spoon in hand, but as He brings it down on my ass, i cry out in shock ~ OMIGOD ~ i had no idea.  NO idea.

He laughs and rubs my ass, which helps take some of the stinging burn away.  

i don’t think He even used it hard.  Omigod.  

“You count,” He says.  “You know how this works, right?”

“i don’t know,” i say, partly because my brain is in shock and can’t think, partly because i hope explanations will slow this down a little.

Instead, the spoon lands again, quickly.  i cry out, and he rubs the slight welt he has raised on my ass.  “Nice,” He says.  “Very pretty.  Now, that would have been two, each time you have to count and say ‘Thank You, Sir, may i have another please?’  Do you understand?’

“Yes, Sir,” i say quickly.  “Two, thank You, Sir, may i have another please?”

He laughs, stroking my ass still, then slipping between my thighs, probing the folds of my pussy.  “Well, that would be right, except i think we’re just now really starting.  So the next one will be ‘One’.  Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, even though i’m secretly appalled.

He still has one hand between my legs as the next blow lands, and i cry out, but remember to say it, “One, thank You Sir, may i have another please?”

The second one lands quickly, and the third.

“Breathe,” He says, “Keep breathing.  Yes, good girl.”

The fourth.

He begins to stroke me in between, caressing my ass and my pussy, letting His fingers slide in and out of me.  Only after i am moaning with pleasure does He let the next one fly, land it with a sharp thud, if you can imagine. 

By eight, i am crying.  He shifts my body so He can put one leg over my legs, effectively pinning me down.  i am aware of the denim pressed against my calves.  My hands are on the floor now, and i find the ring attached to the floor, hook my index fingers through it to hold on to.

His hands between my legs are heaven, i am so close, and still He stops short, He does not give me permission, instead “Whack,” the spoon lands again, and He may be bringing it down more gently, but my ass is aflame and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.  i cry out, and barely remember the magic formula, gasping it out, “Thank You, Sir, please may i have another, please?”

He stops for a long time then, rubbing my ass gently, probing the crevice between my cheeks, slipping fingers in and out of my dripping wet pussy.  “You’re doing good,” He says, “you’re pleasing me so much.  Are you sure you want another?  Sure you wouldn’t rather just stop now?”

And of course i want Him to stop, of course i don’t want another, but my pussy has clenched nicely at those works ~ “you’re pleasing me so much,” and i would go farther than this to get that.  So i say,

“Please, Sir, i want to finish, i want to please you, please may i have another,” and

i barely hear Him murmur “good girl,” before He brings the spoon down again on my ass ~

 i cry out, as the sting settles into me, as the last bit of tension drains from me,  i slide off His lap, collapsing in a heap on the floor.

Escape into Fantasy

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.  Where you stumble, there is your treasure.”

~~ Joseph Campbell 

i love this quote – it’s not just the pain/pleasure dichotomy that those of us in the lifestyle embrace.  It’s the idea that there is value in the depths.   That the very point you’re having trouble with is where your treasure lies. 

 

An artist i know did a painting – a small painting – of a dragon, with these words beside the fierce creature:  “Befriend your dragons; we your riches be.”  i love that idea too, and i think the lifestyle embraces some of that.

 

But i like it a lot more when it’s someone else’s experience – someone else’s stumble, someone else’s dragon – than when it’s mine.  {Laughing}   So i’m out of sorts today, just a little bit, and i don’t want to do the psychic work of figuring out what’s wrong and working on it.

 

Sigh.

i’d rather go back to one of my fantasies.  Wanna come too?

i think it’s time for the training school, although Vesta’s done such a wonderful story of a training school fantasy that i hope i can find my own story again!

In my training school, there are both subs and Doms.  The subs, of course, are expected to obey the teachers, and the Doms-in-Training.  But the Doms are expected to live up to high Dom-ly standards as well.    A future Dom doesn’t actually get punished if He fails to meet the standards, but He gets rewards when He does.  So when He falls short, His punishment is not getting rewarded.

Obviously, the subs supply the rewards, as directed by the teachers.  It’s not unusual for a sub’s “punishment” to be a Dom’s “reward.”  But sometimes the training process is rewarding for both of them…

We are in the classroom with massage tables; several of us, paired off with a Dom for each sub.  The subs are lying on the tables.  My hands are cuffed together, strectched above my head and fastened.  i am on my back.  My legs are open, but not restrained.  There is no need to restrain me today.  My hands are cuffed only to remind me that i am not in control.

Today, the Doms are being instructed.  A drawing of a woman’s most private parts is projected onto a screen.  As each part is discussed, the Dom is supposed to find the corresponding part on the woman spread open before Him.  On me.  He will be learning how to make me cum, over and over and over. 

My task is to learn to control my orgasms.  i have to ask permission each time before i cum.  If i cum without permission, of course, i’ll be punished.  But not too harshly, because it’s like a contest.  The idea is for the Dom to make us lose control, even while we work at increasing our ability to wait, to manage our orgasms only at His command.

The instructor points at the picture, “Right here,” He says.  “Right here is the clit.  Find her clit now.”  And Daniel, who is my Dom-in-Training today, carefully slides His finger over my hot, wet pussy, touching lightly, exploring, watching my face. 

i whimper as He finds it.

“There?” He says, smiling. 

“O.  Yes.” i start to squirm, i can’t help it.  He isn’t moving His finger, or maybe He’s barely moving it.  Not stroking me, just the tiniest movement.  It’s driving me crazy.  My hips thrust upwards –

but His finger continues to rest lightly on the most sensitive spot on my body.  No increase in pressure.  He smiles.  “Keep doing that,” He says, “and I’ll add some more to your “punishment.”  I don’t mind,” He says.  “I love the idea of spanking your ass for a long time.”

Of course, that makes me hotter, a shiver goes through me, and i struggle to keep my hips still.  He laughs, and begins to move His finger in tiny circles, still barely touching me, sending waves of pleasure out through the rest of my body. 

i whimper again.

(to be continued)

  

Slipping Away – more Fantasy

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”   Og Mandino

i’m feeling some submissive angst this morning.  Not for any good reason, maybe it’s the full moon touching me.  Or the highs and lows of my vanilla life. 

For whatever reason, i feel still.  And alone.  

i slip into my mind…

In my fantasy…

i am lying in bed.  My hands are clasped together, attached to my collar, like in Story of O.  i am not chained to the bed – there’s no need for that.  Where would i go? 

My pussy throbs and aches.  i can’t sleep. 

i think back on the day.

When they finish removing the last trace of hair from my pussy, they wash me.  Warm, soapy water – at least it feels slick, as if it has soap in it.  i am still blindfolded.  i don’t know how they do it, with me lying on the table on my back, legs pushed up to my chest.  But they do. 

As they pat me dry, the soft towel feels rough, touching skin that has never been exposed before.

They aren’t massaging me anymore.  Hands grasp my ankles, and my wrists.  I’m not struggling.  i’m listening.  Are either of the men still in the room?

When they have finished drying me, they remove the blindfold.  i blink in the light, having grown used to the darkness. 

There are four women, two on each side of me.  i see that first.  Then the mirror.

It is above me, on the ceiling.  i’m caught by my reflection – my pussy, so naked, so exposed, reflected there.  i close my eyes quickly, but- 

“Open your eyes.”  It’s a male voice.  i don’t know if it’s Jon, who came in after i was there,  or Brian, who was there first.  The voice is firm.  “Go ahead,” is there a hint of amusement in the voice?  “Go ahead and look in the mirror.”

i open my eyes.

Having done that, i can’t escape, i can’t look away.  O, my.  There i am.  Spread open.  Parts of  me i’d never seen before, on display.   i’m humiliated.  And wet, so wet, and not from the water either.  Wet and hot, and despite myself, i whimper.

He moves into the reflection then.  i can see him, standing between my legs.  i think i could die from shame, and i feel my hips raise, i see myself thrusting my pussy forward.  Offering it to him.  O.  What am i doing?

“Look at me now,” He says, and i do.  i can see him, framed between my widespread thighs, and my self, those parts of myself that have just been prepared – for him?  For others?

He is smiling.  “Pretty.”  He says.  “Lovely cunt.”  And i shiver.  He laughs. 

“What a hot slut you are!”  he says.  “I’m going to touch you now.  Touch that hot cunt.  Look at you.  Look at how wet you are.”  And he touches a finger to the entrance of my sex.  Pulls it back almost before i can register pleasure, but it leaves me thrusting, lifting my pussy toward him again. 

He smiles, holds his finger up.  “See how wet you are?” He says.  He puts his finger in his mouth and, his eyes still on mine, sucks it.  i’m dreadfully embarrassed, i want to look away, but i don’t dare.  i hear myself whimper.

“I’m going to touch you,” He says.  “Touch your cunt here,” and he slides his finger between the outer and inner lips, slides it up and down in the slick juice of my arousal.  i whimper, moan, push myself towards him.

He stops.

i whimper.

He laughs. “No.”  He says.  “No cumming.  I’m going to touch you, and you are not to cum.  Do you understand?”

i gasp.  “i – i” and before i realize what’s happening, He has raised his hand, and brought it down on my inner thigh, hard. 

i cry out.

His voice is calm, reasonable.  “I asked you a question.  Do you understand?  Do you understand that I’m going to touch your cunt, and you are not to cum?”

“Ye- Yes, Sir,” i stammer, “Bu-” and O!  The hand comes down on my thigh again.  In the same place.  i gasp, whimper.

“No.” He says, still calm.  “You don’t need to talk.  ‘Yes, Sir’ or ‘No, Sir’ are the only things you need to say right now.  Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, quickly this time.

“Good girl.”  He smiles.  “Let’s begin.” 

His hands begin to stroke and caress, parting my lips, seeking out that sweet spot, O!  O!  How does he do that?  It feels – O!  i whimper and squirm.  How am i supposed to not cum when he’s doing that?  i’m used to struggling, trying to cum.   When i don’t have that much experience with cumming, how am i gonna not cum? 

The women by my head are caressing my breasts.  Gently tweaking my nipples.  That makes it even harder to hold back an orgasm.  He takes me to the brink, right to the edge ~~

~ and stops. 

i cry out – O!  O, please Sir…” pumping my hips, pushing my pussy up.

He laughs, “Do you want to be gagged?”

“O, no, Sir!”   shaking my head firmly, i press my lips together.

“Ok, then.  I’ll let you make noises, this time anyhow, but you don’t need to talk.  Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir!”  Nodding.

And he starts again, his hand between my legs.  He doesn’t penetrate me, although i long for him to, if i were allowed to talk, i’d beg him to.   But he doesn’t.  Again, he brings me to the edge – o, so close, right there ~~

~and stops. 

Mmmmpf.  O. 

And He starts again.  Omigod, Omigod, Omigod, and then i’m there – i just am – i’m there, i can’t stop it, and he doesn’t stop and Omigod, i tremble ~

~ up, up over the top, over the edge ~

 and i fall, shivering, tumbling down, sheer pleasure.  Little noises escape me…  my eyes close – o, ahhhhh, omigod.

And then.

i open my eyes. 

And see him.  Standing there between my legs.  Looking – omigod.  Not quite frowning.  Quizzical.  He looks quizzical.

“Well,” he says.  “What just happened here, slut?” 

“Um,” i’m so ashamed, i don’t know what to say, i don’t think i can even talk.  But he goes on, “No, don’t even say anything, slut.  I can see you haven’t learned any self control.”  He shakes his head.  “We’ve got a lot of work to do with you.”

“Donna,” he says, addressing the woman holding my right ankle, “Whatddya think?  Turn her over and spank her?”

“I think so,” says Donna, “This time.  We’ll do ten on each cheek.  Alternating.  Slowly, I think.  Give her time to grasp what’s happening, absorb the pain.”

“Good,” He says.  “Go ahead then.”

And they turn me.  Turn me so that i’m positioned on my hands and knees, shoulders pressed to the table, head down.  Ass in the air.  A hand fisted in my hair holds me firmly pressed to the table.

SMACK – i feel a hand land on my right cheek – O!!!!! O, that stings.  Then –

SMACK – the other cheek.  I can feel heat rising from my ass.  O.  Ten on each side.  How will i take this?  Can i last?

And why – omigod – why do i feel my pussy getting hotter with each stroke? 

**************************************************************************************************************

And why would i write this now, when i actually can’t make myself cum?  {Laughing}  i must be crazy.  And now it’s time to get ready for work…. 

Sigh.  Just one more day.  Tomorrow, i’ll see Sir D.

i can’t wait…  {smiles}

The Power of His “I Want”

“I want you to cum for me tonight.”  His voice is silk.  “Can you do that?”

O.  Yes.

{blush}

 “Can you do that for Me?”

“Yes,  Sir.  i can do that for You.”

{smiles}

 

 

 

 

Thank You, Sir!