Also…

i guess Sfp is rubbing off on me, because here i am posting again, just a few hours after my first post of the day.

But ~ i wanted to bring  you up-to-date on Bob and our plans to test out his trusty fucksall.  We’re working on date and time.

He’s busy this weekend, so that works out well, but i’m hoping for some time next weekend.   He says:

“I will get the fucksall batteries all charged up for your pleasure. And I’ll stock my bag with some other goodies….”  

which i thought was very gracious of him, right?

Then he adds:

“By the way, don’t worry about the number of clothespins vs. the number of nipples. I have activities in mind.”

Which made me think, “Yikes!”

************************************

i’m thoroughly enjoying the day so far – Sfp and i are just hanging out, each of with a laptop at hand, commenting on things from time to time.  Out loud, that is.

Since she’s on vacation, i think i feel like i am too.  Very relaxed.  

She even has nice things to say about my cats, who she thinks are “cuddly.”  That’s today. Wait til they’re yowling and beating on her bedroom door in the middle of the night tonight…

laughing…

 

Settling In

So i’m settling back into being at home, beginning to feel like i might possibly get caught up on the things i’ve neglected.   Sfp will be here before i know it.  i keep having conversations in my head with her – “We could do this… or this…” only ~ since the conversation is only in my head, it just goes in circles.  

And really, we probably need to wait til she gets here before we make a bunch of plans.  

i’m getting some new furniture for my living room, and i’m a little worried.  Well, i’m excited about the furniture, but the chair and couch i have now, which are so well-suited for cock worship and spankings, are going to the basement.  i don’t think the furniture i have in mind will serve that purpose quite as well.

i used to have fantasies about being spanked bent over the arm of my chair, or the couch, long before i was actively involved in kink.  i knew they would be ideal for that. 

i remember getting up the nerve to tell my husband that i would like him to spank me there, that way.  The memory makes me smile, and makes me sad.  

He had his own chair, where i used to sit in his lap, but he took it with him of course when we split up.

My chair has lots of memories for me.  i’ve knelt in front of it so many times.  Been bent over the arm, just like in my fantasies. And now it’s in the “family room” in the basement.  

Sigh.

Of course, lots of people have dungeons or play equipment in the basement, so maybe we’ll just shift the venue  – well, if i ever play with anyone again.

Bob sent me an offer that’s hard to refuse.  You know, Bob is my friend who’s a Dom, who i went to the swingers party with.  

He sent me a message on fetlife, offering to relieve me of my state of  “only getting orgasms solo,” which is certainly considerate of him.  But he also showed me a picture that was pretty enticing.  i wanted to copy and post it here, but couldn’t figure out how to do it, so i’ll have to describe it.

Laid out in a visually appealing spread, i first notice the fucksall, with the lovely blue dildo.  Then the flogger, and the riding crop catch my eye.  Hmmmm.

Rope – 4 pieces of silky looking rope, another – is that another dildo?  O, my, yes, i think it is, and um, a row of clothespins.  More clothespins than any sub could need, ten of them, while i only have 2 nipples.  But it’s an eye-catching arrangement.  Hard to resist.

{Swallows hard}

And maybe i won’t.  Resist, that is.  Maybe i need a play partner for a while.

Thinking about it, i try to shift my image from dedicated sub to playmate.  i don’t know.  i do need to be touched.

i was IM’ing with someone last night who’s also local, who’s also looking for a play partner.  We agreed to  meet at some point soon, although the exact date and time hasn’t been determined.  But i think he mainly wants a third for him and his slave, who he sees monthly.

i don’t know.

i talked to someone else local through collarme  who, as it turns out, was someone i went out with back before my second marriage.  He was very into kink then, and i was at least on the fringes.   Neither of us had any idea about the other.

Where-i-Live is really very small sometimes.

But i’m trying to take the sagest advice of all of you  – to take my time, process things slowly, be kind to myself…

…and maybe let Bob test his new toy on me…    

 

My Report

i had a good time last night at the swingers party.  i took a nap in the afternoon so i could stay up like the big girls, which was good.  

Several hours ahead of time, Bob texted me a picture of the device he made – he’s not calling it a fucksaw,  He’s calling it a “fucks-all.”  i think that’s right – because the saw was originally called a saws-all.  Or something like that.

Here is the one he made:

Anyhow.  i had fun getting ready.  i wore a short, tight skirt, and a black chemise with a black short sleeved thing over it.  The skirt is some kind of stretchy material, and has a wide waistband.  It hits a couple of inches above my knee, but i  turned the waistband up, like we used to do with our uniform skirts when we were in high school, so it was shorter.

However, once i got there, Bob didn’t seem dreadfully impressed with how short it was, so i rolled it one more turn.

i actually took a picture of myself – well, tried to.  i didn’t set it up right, but here’s the first one i took.

 i wore heels, of course, and felt quite sexy.   So i reset the camera, and started to go pose again.  Got this instead:

Reset and tried again:

Bob was waiting outside for me when i got there, which was sweet, and made me feel comfortable.  Of course, i know the guy that shows you where to park now, and the people at the door, so i ought to feel comfortable!  

Bob was not holding the fucks-all, and not carrying anything that could have held it either.   In fact, i have to admit, beyond the text picture, the fucks-all doesn’t enter the story at all.  Sorry.

The dungeon was strange with almost all the furniture removed – well, bdsm furniture, that is.  There were rows of tables instead, and a big open space in the middle – maybe for the twister game?  The jello tub was over in a corner.

There was a dance floor with swirly lights, and loud music.  Some of the music was good, and at one point, i considered joining some line dancing.  But i didn’t.

Bob and i wander through, checking out all the rooms with mattresses, some women in very cute lingerie, and not much else at first.  

Neither of us had brought wine or beer – or liquor, for that matter – so we drank water, and coffee for me.  No, it doesn’t keep me from sleeping.

We sit at a table, and are joined by another couple who turn out to be very nice.  They live in a rural town about 30 miles away, and go to different swingers clubs over a three state area on the weekends.   We chat, but we don’t go get naked together or switch partners or anything.

There’s a huge screen tv that shows porn throughout the evening.  We’re facing the screen, so i find myself watching whether i want to or not.  It’s all straight sex, with maybe an occasional butt slap.  And it’s ~~

~~ it’s really big.  And lots of close ups.  And honestly?  

Sooooooo not my cup of tea.  Of course, as far as i can tell, no one else is even looking at it, so i try to watch the live people instead.  

People greet each other, make introductions ~ hug, some kiss.  At least while i’m there, actual sex is in the separate rooms – which are separate but not private.  Bob and i wander through again.

In one room, a woman is on her knees {on a pillow} in front of a man who’s laying on his back on the bed, arms stretched out.  They are both fully clothed – well, except, apparently, for one part, um, that would be his cock.  Her head is bobbing like a ~ well, you know, like a movie.

Several men are standing around the edges of the room watching.  Later, something clicks in my head, and i say to Bob, “Were they waiting for a turn?”  

He shrugs.  “Could be.  Sure, they could be.”  

This disturbs me; i don’t know why.  Maybe it was just some puritanical streak i still have.   i don’t know.

But i begin to notice men who aren’t with anyone smiling at me, and am just the teeniest bit uncomfortable.   i realize that they think ~

~ o, dear, they think i might want to fuck them.  Or suck their cocks. 

Yikes.

Bob is great company, interesting and thoughtful, so that’s nice.  i would never have stayed as long as i did without him there.  We wander through the upstairs space several times.

One time we pass by a pile of naked bodies.  All tangled together, arms and legs protruding.   i want to look, and i totally want to not look.    We pass on by.  

i’m really not making any judgements here ~ everyone seems to be having a great time.  A man by himself joins us at one point, and he’s very nice.  We chat for a while, and he tells us stories of other swingers clubs he’s been to.  

So i have a good time.  i don’t see anyone i want to get intimate with, but i don’t really know anyone.  And by 11:00, i’m ready to go home.  No jello wrestling, no naked twister, and i’m ok with that.

i’m glad i went.  It was fun and interesting.  And i probably won’t go back.  i missed the whips and ropes, the Domly Doms and submissive subs.  Clearly, BDSM is my kink.  

‘ll go to the munch the first Friday of June, for sure.

So that’s my report on my night at the swingers’ party.

Respectfully submitted,

aisha 

Party Night

The party is tonight.  The swingers’ party.  The swingers’ party with naked twister and jello wrestling.  

Donna has suggested i participate in the jello wrestling – actually, she said:

“If you decide to go to the jello wrestling match, please throw someone to the bottom of the jello pit for me, please! *humming…watch them wiggle, see that jiggle…”

i told her i didn’t think i was badass enough to do that, and got this response:

“You know, I don’t think you have to be badass to be good in the jello pit. Probably being sure footed and having good toe grip strength is more important. Add a few Issues that are causing angst, and you’ll have them slip sliding away in no time. I have seen some of your boots and shoes and I think you might be a terror in the jello department. You seem a bit petite for the Twister championship, but your jello technique may be something new to add to your Collar Me profile.”

laughing…  i think the chances of me actually doing that are slim to none, but as Sin advised me a couple of days ago, i’m keeping an open mind.

i actually already know what i’m wearing tonight, at least i think i do, so youall don’t have to listen to me ruminate about that.  

i have other things to ponder for the evening.  Bob, the friend i’m going to this little event with, sent me this message on fetlife yesterday:

“Well, I finished my reciprocating dildo.
Now I need someone to do beta testing. Any suggestions? <evil grin>”

i responded quickly:

“O, my.

You’re sure there’s no saw inside it? {grins}”

and got this answer:

“I used a saw blade, but I filed the teeth off it and it’s imbedded in the middle of the dildo…I don’t know any other device that would attach to the saw…..but there’s a nice eight-inch gel dildo just waiting for you……I mean for a test subject.”

What’s a girl to do?  After all, i wouldn’t want to stand in the way of research, right?  Here’s a picture of one that’s been converted.    

This one was labeled a fucksaw.

Anyhow, i’m not making any promises about testing it tonight at the party, cause that would depend on a lot of things.  But, like Sin said, i’m trying to keep an open mind.  {smiling}