i started a post on the sensual humiliation class i went to with Dan and dawn, but there’s too much material about that to write it today.
i spent way too much time already this morning revising some minutes for a group i belong to. We met last Tuesday. i’m the secretary. i promised to do the minutes Saturday morning.
i did start them Saturday. And i’m only 2 days late. In the greater scheme of things, that’s not bad.
Not finishing what i start ~ you’d think i had some particular form of ADHD the way i leave loose ends dangling. And it’s things that matter to me just as much as things that don’t.
i still want to blog about whether or not domination/submission is innate or learned. In my vanilla blog, i started a series that i left hanging. The Major has fallen off my to-do list.
i need to buy a ladder so i can hang my quilt.
i never followed up on the job opportunity from months ago.
My basement is not going to clean itself out.
In my fantasy, i have a Dom who helps me see these things through to completion. Actually, Sir X did say something to me the other day ~ asked me about the vanilla blog thing i’d been writing about ~ which prompted me to think about getting back to it.
But i haven’t done it.
It’s difficulty detaching, i think. Not a lack of attention but an over-attention. Not a lack of ability to stay on task, but trouble shifting.
So ~ for example ~ if i start to clean my stove, intending to wipe it off, i may end up with a piece of paper towel wrapped around a toothpick, trying to get the last tiny bit of grunge off a hidden corner. That over-attention to detail.
My solution? Procrastination!
When i procrastinate, i have limited time to spend on a task, i can’t lock into it to that extent. i’m forced to settle for “good enough” which is ~ often ~ good enough.
But that’s not an effective long-term strategy.
Give me a list of things to do and i have to switch tasks frequently. Otherwise ~ like this weekend. My goal was to unpack and do laundry. i ended up reorganizing my closet. Moving shelves and a chest of drawers. Great ~
~ but two loads of laundry are still waiting to be folded.
That was my original task, just to get caught up on laundry.
Ok, so how boring is this post?
Laughing…
Here’s a tiny connection to kink. Someone at Kinky Kollege ~ Barbara Carrellas maybe? ~ commented that submissives need help prioritizing. That we “can’t” prioritize.
And i put “can’t” in quotes, because clearly, that’s exaggerated, of course we can and do a lot of the time.
But maybe i’m not so good at it sometimes. i know what’s important. i know what i need to do.
i can’t pull myself away from whatever i’m doing until ~ oooh. Until it’s perfect? Is this just perfectionism rearing its ugly head?
Sigh.
i don’t know. i think i can’t detach. Whatever catches my attention is what gets my attention. And i just keep going on that til something else catches my attention.
AND i don’t have a real ending for this post. So i guess i’ll have to keep writing forever… or until it’s gotten so late that i’ve GOTTA go. Which would be~
~ o, yeah ~ NOW.
Still laughing…
{And i had to come back to say that ‘Nilla and Faithful are in the middle of the winter storm, both without power, but both safe and doing ok. i don’t know who else among my blogging buddies is in that, but i’m hoping you are all safe and warm.}