Follow Up on Getting Enough

People are still voting in the poll i set up on Wednesday, and i may revisit that page periodically to see if the numbers have changed.  In fact, i think i’ll post a link to that page from time to time and invite people to go vote.

But for now, here are the results:  41 people answered the question:

Submissives: Are you getting enough?

There is too much sex/kink/control in my life 0% (0 votes)

There is too little sex/kink/control in my life. 78.05% (32 votes)

There is a just-right amount of sex/kink/control in my life. 12.2% (5 votes)

Other: 10% (4 votes)

9 people answered the question

Dominants: Are you satisfied with the level of kink/sex/control in your household?

I would like more. 77.78% (7 votes)

I would like less. 0% (0 votes)

I’m in control here, it is just right. 22.22% (2 votes)

It’s interesting that only 9 Dominants responded, and 41 submissives.  i got 412 total hits that day so theoretically about 12% of the people who visited the blog actually participated in the survey.  Of course, maybe those numbers reflect the actual ratio of submissives to dominants who read here.  

i could believe that 82% of my readers are submissive ~ although that’s probably not accurate either.  Some people who read here may identify as switches, and some people may not be kinky at all, and some of those hits were probably mistakes.  

While most of the search terms people use to get here seem clearly linked to me, some are ~ not so much.  Someone was looking for “collar me puppy girl,” who is certainly not me.  Or “shibari master,” which i suppose could be Sir D, but would be some very old posts.  

“Sleep kinky sex.”  Really?  Like this puts you to sleep, or i’m kinky when i’m asleep, or what?  “Roller coaster” or “Roller for a roller coaster”  also got people here, which may have been a real shock to them.

So did “striving for peace bdsm blog” and ‘bill nilla” – so my apologies to sfp and ‘nilla!!  “Shave my head bald sir” was certainly not looking for me ~ although i do remember that discussion in the blogosphere a while back.  It’s actually not a topic i care to revisit.

“Epilady as torture submissive” however, i totally claim as mine.  i do use one, and it is torture!  And i’ve written about it here.  

But anyhow.  i digress.  Clearly, submissives identify ourselves as “not getting enough.”  NONE of the submissives who took the poll felt like they were getting too much.  Isn’t that interesting?  78% of us ~ not enough.  i have no idea what it means.

It could be a matter of time.  Distance.  Illness.  Or differing amounts of desire between partners.

None of the Dominants were getting too much either, and the percentage who were getting too little was just about the same as the submissive percentage.  

We also don’t know if the people who responded were not getting enough sex, kink, OR control, or not enough of all three of those, or some combination.   That would require a much longer study, and then we’d still want to know more about it, right?

i wonder sometimes ~ ok, bear with me.  This is going to be a very unscientific venture down what should be a better researched path.  But here we go.

i remember reading a long time ago about a study done with mice or rats in which they pressed a lever  or bar and the pleasure center of their little brains was stimulated, so they got a nice little rush of pleasure.  Well, as you can imagine, they LOVED it.  They would push the lever til they were exhausted.

They would push the pleasure bar rather than the one that would give them food.  Literally, they’d go hungry in their ongoing quest for more pleasure.  They would walk across an electric field to get to the pleasure lever.   They were all about the pleasure.

i think the study was looking at how addiction and some kinds of  street drugs work on people.  But i thought about it back in the day when i was dating Mike Moore.

Mike Moore, who i mentioned recently, was my gateway to submission, and the King of Giving Women Orgasms.  

Let me be clear, Sir gives me plenty of orgasms too, that is not lacking in my life.  But for Mike Moore, it was a project.  i know i’ve said this before, but i want to be clear now – about 3 times a day, he would induce me to have a series of orgasms, maybe somewhere between 5 and 20.  Three times a day.

i was walking around in a glow of endorphins.  Really.  i lost weight effortlessly.  i floated through stressful days at work.  i glowed.  

It was phenomenal.

i wanted the contact with Mike pretty constantly.  i couldn’t wait to see him again.  i always wanted more.

Now some of that was not strictly sexual, there was lots of stuff going on there.  But even at the time, i remembered the mouse study and wondered how far i would go to push the lever for more orgasms.

The final interesting thing about the mouse study is that the behavior of pushing the pleasure bar was easily extinguished when the rewards stopped.  So if the mouse pushed the bar and nothing happened, they wouldn’t keep trying very long.   They’d lose interest.

And it seems to work that way for me too.  When i’m getting lots ~ control, kink, or sex ~ i want more.  When i’m not “getting any” i can go into some kind of arousal hibernation.   i may not initiate,  i may lose interest.

i don’t know what all this means but it’s fun to think about, isn’t?  What do youall think?

Getting Enough

Does anyone feel like they’re getting enough kink, enough control, enough sex, enough of it all?

i was talking to a submissive friend, who is not “getting enough,” and in some ways, often, neither am i.  Not complaining, just saying.  i want more.  

And what would be “enough?”  Is this a submissive “thing?”  Are we ever satisfied or are we insatiable?

So i’m taking a poll.  Now, don’t answer based on last night.  Think about the last 3 months and answer based on that, ok?  

i know, this was supposed to be a Naomi day, but the next installment isn’t ready yet, and i was wondering about this.  So humor me, take the poll.  

i’m gonna go answer comments, maybe i’ll post Naomi later today.  Tomorrow for sure.