Leaving…

Am finally packed, think Sir is packed, have maybe weighed the suitcases for the last time.  No, we are not traveling light, not at all.  i’m taking a zillion things for my daughter and granddaughter, most of them requested on her list of things they want and need in Very-Far-Away.  

There were times i felt like i was on a Treasure Hunt, trying to track down the exact right item to her specifications.  But that’s DONE.

We have two suitcases, crammed to the gills, weighing in at 47 and 48 pounds respectively, hoping the airline scales are in the same ballpark as ours.  Sir has His suitcase that has some things He wanted to take for a hobby of his, which i won’t go into here.  We have two carry-ons, both stuffed, and we each have a backpack.

We will be the traveling gypsies.

Tonight, we spend the night in an airport.  THAT should be fun all by itself…  But this morning, this is playing in my head…

i may be back from time to time, but know that i’m thinking of youall often!

Packing…

Packing and doing laundry.  That’s my life.

Good times ahead!

Coming Attractions

Having gotten a sneak preview of the classes and presenters at Bluegrass Leather Pride 2013, i’m super excited.  The Kinky Bloggers Convention track has two classes, but there are lots of other exciting classes and events too.

i’m sure the schedule will be released soon, and you can see for yourself,  In the meantime, for the KBC track, we’re offering The Art of Blogging and Blogging as a Healing Tool.  We’ve invited a Kink-Aware Therapist to actually lead those workshops.  She’s supposed to be pretty good, so i’m excited about that.  

So if you’re coming – register.  Let me know you’re coming.  i’m leaving for Very-Far-Away on Monday, and won’t be back until Thursday before the convention.  Although i’ll be checking in, my internet access will be limited.   So Act Now ~ o, wait, i sound like a TV commercial, don’t i? 

Giggling…

But seriously, i’m looking forward to seeing you guys there.  

On a whole different note, Sir and i are all caught up in getting ready for our trip.  We nodded at Valentine’s Day yesterday ~

in fact, He treated me to the loveliest box of candy from the fanciest chocolatiers ~~

Truffles.  Hand crafted truffles.  You have no idea how exquisite they are.  Yes, there are only four left.  What can i say?  The darn cats must have eaten two before i could take this picture.

i made Him chocolate covered strawberries.  

And then we kept going with the things we need to do before we leave.  He said He felt a little guilty when He heard other people at work discussing their evening plans, but i’m thinking of it as  giving each other a trip to Very-Far-Away for Valentine’s Day!

Hope youall had a lovely ~ and loving ~ one.

A Correction

As you can imagine, Sir and i had some follow-up conversation about my accidental escape from my bonds Tuesday night,   He  said that He had come to bed thinking that He would reach over and untie me, only to discover that i was ALREADY untied, my hands just flopping anywhere they wanted to, all over the bed…  as He describes it, it was a scene of total abandon, my hands just flitting promiscuously wherever they chose.

My {giggly} protestations that it wasn’t my fault fell on deaf ears.  

It got worse when He was tucking me in last night and saw the rope.  It was only then that He realized that the rope had not come untied, my hands had slipped out.

Brandishing the rope, He says, “So tell me again, how did this happen?  You’re telling me you just slipped out of this?  What ~  just slipped free???”

{Giggling…}  “Yes, Sir, pretty much like that.”

“And I’m supposed to believe you didn’t have anything to do with this?”

“Well, i was asleep, Sir.  i couldn’t help it.”

But the interrogation continues.  “So you woke up and you were just free?  Just magically without any effort or intention on your part?”

“Well,” in the interest of honesty, i say, “i kind of woke up,  i was half-asleep, and i woke up and one hand was out.  So i just, um, i just sort of , well, you know, i took ~ um, i took the other hand out ~ but i wasn’t even thinking about it, it just kind of happened.”

“Just. Kind of.  Happened.”  He pauses, shakes His head.   “So, you’re telling me with one hand already out, already running free, you just decided, ‘Well, might as well take it to the next level,’ and just pulled the other one out?  That’s what you’re telling me.”

{Giggling}  “Um, apparently, Sir.  BUT ~ i was half-asleep, i didn’t’ really know what i was doing.”

“Well, just tell me this.  Did it even cross your mind, did the thought even cross your mind, to put the other hand back in the rope???”

“Um, well, um, no, um, no, Sir” {giggle} “It really didn’t.  No.  Sir.”

“There you are, one hand out, and you know you’re supposed to be tied, and it doesn’t even occur to you to put the other hand back in.”  He shakes His head.

“Um, no Sir.  Well, ok, maybe for a second.  i might have – it might have crossed my mind.”

“OH!  That’s even worse!  You thought about it and ~~~”  much head shaking, “and didn’t do the right thing.”

It goes on like that a bit longer, i believe ~ i’m already tethered by the ankle at that point, and halfway tucked in bed.  It’s not exactly a rant, my Sir doesn’t rant, but my motivations and i are under some scrutiny.

So i’m not exactly surprised when He pushes me to my stomach, pulls the cover down, and delivers a number of stinging blows to my bare bottom.  

Um, no, i’m not complaining, they were just about exactly the kind i like best.  

But this morning, He tells me that He read your comments on yesterday’s post.  He says  it looks to HIm like i’ve given youall the impression that the rope came untied.  Like the knots came undone.

He thinks i need to straighten that out, to let you know that’s NOT what happened at all.   To admit that i just slipped my hands out.  Even when i could have done the right thing and put the second hand back in ~ no.  i chose not to.

So here i am, as directed, straightening that out.  Letting you know ~ the rest of the story.

{Giggle}

Hope you have a Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Escape?

i think Sir has been trying to figure out what to do when we’re in Very-Far-Away and He doesn’t have the tether to, um, tether me to.  He was saying He could tether me to a chair, but then when i get up before Him {which i will} i’ll have to drag the chair around behind me, and i think He’s discarded that idea.

i think He would prefer to take the tether with us ~ don’t laugh ~ but it just weighs too much.   i can tell it’s on His mind though.

Last night, we were talking about things we would ~ or wouldn’t ~ want to do.  Sky diving came up, and i conceded that i probably wouldn’t actually go sky-diving at this point in my life.  On the other hand, i said, i love para-sailing and would be delighted to do it again.

He was asking me all kinds of questions about it ~ how it works, and what it’s like ~ and i describe taking off from the boat, slowly rising in the air.  i’m raving about the pleasure of soaring through the sky “like flying,” and He points out that “really, you are flying!” 

Then He adds, “And of course, you’re one of your other favorite things too.” He grins.  “Tethered.  Aren’t you?”

i laugh, i had not thought of it that way, but yes.  i am.  Floating in the clouds, safely tethered to the boat.  Sort of an analogy for our relationship too.

Later last night, He comes to tuck me in bed.  i start to offer my ankle, but He shakes His head.  “No, we’re going to try something a little bit different tonight.”

He takes my wrists and ties them together.  Palms facing each other, He loops the rope around my wrists snugly and ties it in a series of decorative knots.

“But…” i start to protest.

“Is there a problem?” He says.

“Well, i ~” i want to say, “Yes!  You just tied my hands together!”  But the words die away.  “Well,” i finally manage, “i won’t be able to type in the morning.  That will be sad.”

He nods.  “But that’s not a problem right now, is it?”

“No, Sir”

“Then you can let me know when it’s a problem.”

“So i can wake you up when i get up?”

“Well, I don’t expect you to wake me up the second you get out of bed, no,” He says.  “But you can wake me up if there’s a problem.”

He kisses and strokes me for a bit, and starts to walk away.  Suddenly, it strikes me ~ o, no ~   “Sir ~” i say, “Wait, no, yes, there will be a problem right away.”

Patiently, He says, “What?”

“My robe!  i can’t put my robe on with my hands tied together!”

He smiles.  You know the smile.  “Hmmmm,” He says.  “That will be tough.  Wake me up for that, i want to watch you try.”

“Sir!  i can’t!  How can i put it on??”

“I guess you’ll just have to drape it over your shoulders,” He says.  “That’s the part i want to watch.”

Resigned, “Yes, Sir,”  i start to pull the covers over my shoulder ~ and can’t.  Try again from a different angle.  Nope.  And again.  No.  i can’t.  i just can’t get hold of the sheet to pull it up.

He’s watching.  “Is there a problem now?” 

“Yes, Sir.  Would you please fix the sheet for me, please?”  And He does.

Hmpf, i think.  He’ll be sorry when i have to wake Him up in the middle of the night to cover me.  But i fall asleep just fine, hands tucked up under my chin.

At some point in the night, i half-wake up and realize i have wiggled the rope loose.  One hand is out.  

Ooops.

With one hand out, the other one is not actually tied either, and the rope just slides off.  Hmmm.  

O, well.  

i just hope He understands ~ i was NOT trying to escape, and i did NOT do it on purpose.  No, the cats didn’t do it either, not this time.   It just happened.

Jz understands, right??

And i’m sure He’ll come up with some other idea…

Just Popping In

i loved your comments yesterday ~ i was busy all day, which was good, but in between stuff, i was checking comments and laughing.  i’ll go answer soon, but really, your responses were too much fun.

Good news from here is that my business is suddenly doing really well, and that’s without a new thing i’m tackling which should increase business even more.   Of course, it may be partly seasonal, i don’t know how that works yet.  But it’s reassuring that i probably made the right career choice, and i don’t have to work at not feeling like a failure, and it’s making for a busy week.

At the same time i’m getting ready to go visit my daughter and her family in Very-Far-Away.  i have tons to do to get ready because i am a last minute person.  Ok, it’s not last minute yet, we don’t leave til next Monday, but it feels like last minute.  That’s how much i have left to do.

i have a post i need to do for a vanilla blog i write for ~ i woke up this morning with that on my mind.  

And the housekeeper is coming today, so i need to straighten.  It’s amazing how messy Sir and i can be.  We will both scurry around this morning, putting things in their proper places.

AND i’m sticking to my exercise regime, but that means i have to be through with blogging and email and such in time to do it.  

What’s my point?  You know, i’m just popping in here to say “hi’ and rushing back out again.  So i leave you with this:

“For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to convince you that you must assume responsibility for being here, in this marvelous world, in this marvelous desert, in this marvelous time. I want to convince you that you must learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.” 
― Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan

Busted ~ and my ass will pay for it

It was a lovely spanking i got night before last – not too hard and not too soft, but jussst right.   Sir had me bent over the bed ~ and since our bed is kind of high, that means i’m up on the balls of my feet, not quite tip-toeing but not with my whole foot flat on the ground either.

He ties one hand ~ my right hand ~ to the rope attached to the tether, which is all the way on the other side of the bed, so i can’t move my hand behind me to try to cover my ass.  i know, you wouldn’t think i would even try to do that, would you?  But i have done it before.

He doesn’t tie the left hand ~  for some reason, apparently, i keep that one where it belongs.

He starts spanking with His hands, a little warm-up, and then alternates with other instruments of torture.  Sometimes He makes me count for a while, then switches tools and has me start over at One.  Ten from the paddle, ten from the belt…. like that.

It’s a bit stingy at times, or thuddy, depending on what He’s using, so i make a little noise when it feels appropriate, you know, so it’s not like He’s doing all this work for nothing.

What?  Is that jade i hear, telling me i’m not supposed to make noise unless i can’t help it?  Well, ok, i’m sure you’re right, but you know, i’m not very hard-core, and i think He likes to know when it’s having an effect.  That’s my theory anyhow.

So yesterday, the day after the lovely beating,  He wants to know if i’ve got marks.  And um, no, i don’t.  No marks.  So He says,

“I think I’m not hitting you hard enough.  I think all that ooohing and ahhhhing you do is just for effect.  All that squirming and “it hurts!” that you do.”

“Nuh-uh,” i say, “It hurts, of course it does.”

“Well, I believe you,” He says, although He sounds skeptical, “But there’s no marks, not a single mark.  I just don’t think it’s hurting you that much.  Is it?”   And He looks at me.  Waiting.

So what do i do?

i giggle.

Yes.  Giggle.

Probably not my best move.

His eyebrows shoot up and He says, “Oh, I see how it is!!  It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

And I say, still giggling, “No, yes, it does!  It does hurt!  Just um, you know, um maybe not real bad… But ~ but ~” and i’m talking fast because the look on His face bodes no good for me ~  “But you know you’re not really a sadist, right?  That’s what you always say, you’re not really a sadist, so it’s ok, it doesn’t HAVE TO hurt that much, and in fact, i think it probably hurts just right ~ it was ~ really it was probably perfect.”

He says, tongue firmly in cheek, “Well, I just don’t want you to feel cheated.  It seems like I should be leaving marks.  No, I think I just need to do it harder.”

i say, “No, really, seriously,”  and i quit giggling, “It is hard ~ it’s ~ ok, for real, on a scale of 0-10, you want to know where it is?  On a scale of 0-10, for real it was about a 5.  See, that’s plenty high enough.”

But no.  He shakes His head.  “Seven,” He says.  “Next time, I’m going for seven.  And,” He smiles, “And I’ll know not to pay any attention to your little ‘it hurts’ nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense!” i say, all wide-eyed innocence, but it reminds me of this passage from Story of O.   The first time they beat her one of them explains:

They would grant her some respite, but as soon as she had caught her breath they would start in again, judging the results not from her screams or tears but from the size and color of the welts they had raised. They remarked to her that this method of judging the effectiveness of the whip – besides being equitable – also made it pointless for the victims to exaggerate their suffering in an effort to arouse pity, and thus enabled them to resort to the same measures beyond the château walls, outdoors in the park – as was often done – or in any ordinary apartment or hotel room, assuming a gag was used (such as the one they produced and showed her there on the spot), for the gag stifled all screams and eliminates all but the most violent moans, while allowing tears to flow without restraint. 

i always thought that was really hot.  In theory anyhow.

i don’t think Sir is going to go anywhere near those extremes, and maybe no welts will be raised ~ that really is ok with me.   i’ve never been with a Dom who really pushed pain, and that’s probably just as well.  But it will be interesting to see what a “7” is like…

Sleep? Me?

Apparently, espresso right before bed is not my best idea.  Even though actually it wasn’t right before bed, it was right before a sound spanking, complete with the belt and the paddle and the little wooden stick and some stingy string thing, interspersed with lots of stroking and touching and probing and penetrating and orgasms all around… and

~~ i slept soundly ~~

~~ for about three hours.  

My phone alarm woke me up.  It was going off in the other room ~ i must have set it for a.m. instead of p.m. and didn’t notice that it didn’t go off when it should have.  Then there was the cat meowing, of course, one wanted out and the other wanted in, and i had to get up anyhow.

So i took my tether and tended to those things, came back to bed, lay down, and discovered that my eyes were wide open.  Wide open.

i lay there for a while, but eventually it became clear that sleep was not going to happen. What’s a girl to do?  Might as well get up.

So here i am.  3:50 a.m. now and i’ve already answered comments from the last two days and made some changes in my appointment calendar and read most of the NY Times.  And still not sleepy.  i’ll probably be ready to go back to bed about 9 o’clock this morning.

It’s interesting, and enlightening, to see how many of my friends are on Facebook at this hour.  i suspect they’re on their way to bed for the first tiem and that we’re passing each other at different ends of the sleep spectrum.   But it doesn’t matter.  In the wee hours of the not-yet-dawn, here we are.

Guess it’s time to look for something constructive to do…

Yes, Ma’am

You may remember that i posted some facts about Ms. Constance a few days ago, and, as you might expect, she responded.  i said:

{Whispering…} Ms. Constance can raise an eyebrow and cast fear into the heart of most submissive folks.  But don’t let that fool you.  Underneath that sometimes gruff exterior is a kind and caring woman, who will go way out of her way to help just about anyone in distress.  

And she said:

I take great exception to that, I am mean and cruel and have a heart of blackest coal, I am as immovable as the Rock of Gibraltar and have a heart equally as hard.

Got it?

Good.

Now quiver in fear.

To which i can only say:

Yes Ma’am!!

And quiver appropriately in fear.

But i said a lot of other things too, and she replied:

I *do* however have the three cutest dogs on the actual planet, and each of them individually is the VERY cutest dog ever in the history of the world, all at the same time, and that feat tells you just how talented each and every one of them are.

So THAT part is true.

And I am short, but people always guess my height at least a few inches taller. I have, I’m told, a TALL personality.

And if I tried to keep slave drew on TOO short a leash, he would just end up like the dogs do, you know, when they twine it around the legs of chairs and tables and eventually tangle themselves to a point that the furniture gets pulled together or upended. drew has to go check on the recycling situation of the place, you know, and see if they have solar panels somewhere within sight, and possibly see what species of birds are around, and watch the news for a minute or two, and go check on the car or house or dogs or whatever is not in the immediate vicinity.

i particularly love her description of drew, because it is so very perfect.  Have i mentioned that i’m wild about drew?  Yes, if you’re coming to the Kinky Bloggers Convention, you will meet drew, and see for yourself how wonderful he is.

In the meantime, i am super busy – didn’t post yesterday because i left for work before 7 a.m. and was busy from the moment i woke up until i fell asleep on the couch about 6:30 last night.  Sir was working late, so He woke me up when He got home, and we had a bowl of cereal together and i went back to bed.

i’m not very in touch with any kink aspect of myself, although i’m not sure how i can say that with the tether attached to my ankle as i write this.   i’ll have to wake Sir in a bit to untether me so i can go do my volunteer gig.

So i’ve decided not to feel guilty about missing a day of posting here and there, and hope you all will be forgiving also.

This morning, i found this interesting comment in spam:

So I’m a guy who really took to heart all that stuff that was hammered into us in sex ed about asking permission and no means no and respecting girls and all that, and am terrified of being too pushy and assertive in way that might be coercion. I get off on the idea of dominating a girl (not in the tacky leather fetish way, but sort of the standard ‘i am man, this is my woman’) and I get the sense, from on here and elsewhere, that that a lot of girls get off on a guy who does this, and can maybe only get off on this, but i am afraid to take the lead and be dominant and accidentally exercise any sort of coercion. Not really sure what to do. i thought about saying something along the lines of what mal says in the episode ‘heart of gold,’ something like “if i cross the line at any point, you just tell me, but until you do, i’m going to do what i like with you.” that’s the best solution i’ve come up with also, is wanting this sort of thing in bed somehow itself a lack of respect for women? i don’t see it translating into any other aspect of a relationship. i guess what i’m looking for in a relationship is a girl who is not afraid to be assertive and ‘give orders’ in life and be submissive and ‘take orders’ in bed. is that common? is that weird? thoughts?

So it didn’t seem like spam to me – but the website connected with it seemed like it probably was.  And of course, he’d be in the wrong place anyhow, since this is all about dominance in the “tacky leather fetish way” right?  Lol…

i was going to make some kind of response to it, but really, i’m not sure it’s not spam, and who wants to do that?  Besides, it makes me kind of tired, thinking about all the explaining i’d have to do.  If any of  y’all want to tackle it, go for it.  i’m gonna go get dressed…

Punishment

Nooooo, not my punishment.  What would i get punished for?  i’m a good girl, i am.

Criminals.  Here are two different {kinky} suggestions about how to punish criminals and prevent over-crowding in prisons.

In his provocative book, Graeme Newman makes a powerful, persuasive argument for restricting prison terms to the hard core of repeat offenders and truly violent criminals. For most crimes and criminals, the temporary physical pain of a carefully controlled electric shock could well be a cheaper, more effective, more meaningful punishment. And it is more humane than years spent facing the random terror and violence of prison.

So this would be like the violet wand or a tens unit, right?  Which would be a deterrent to me, i’m not a fan of the violet wand.  But it might be a reward for others.

Here’s a link if you want to check out the book.

In other news:

Montana State Rep. Jerry O’Neil (R) is sponsoring a bill to allow defendants to “bargain with the court” to receive “corporal punishment in lieu of incarceration.” The bill would apply to not just misdemeanor crimes, but also felonies — though the bill requires that the “exact nature of the corporal punishment to be imposed” be “commensurate with the severity, nature, and degree of the harm caused by the offender.”

Yes, that’s the picture that went with the article – isn’t that great?  Here’s the link in case you want to read more.

And that, boys and girls, is today’s kinky sociology lesson.  It’s an interesting world we live in, isn’t it?